Adopt a "Do Whatever It Takes" mentality. 

Be persistent, adaptable, and creative in finding solutions. 

Success demands resourcefulness.

David

Motivation

Some people are too mischievous and are too funny to read here 😂😂

3am Thoughts

I am not enough for my family. Long story short, I have no romance anymore, I’m always wrong apparently, and it was only when my wife left town that I truly felt like a family with my kids. Divorce is on the table between me and my therapist but how can I tear apart my family like that? I sprained my ankle today and instead of loving and caring I got “you know it’s okay to actually cry” (I’ve had an earring disorder I’ve just gotten under control with CrossFit over the passed two months and I’ve lost weight and gained muscle…finally proud of myself), and she even said that right around thanksgiving prep/cleaning time, I’m always “unavailable” (this year because of my ankle, others because I am working), and it hurt…

Do I love her, sure. Am I in love with her? No, I don’t think so. Could I be again? Yes, definitely. When/how? If she could change…will she……..? 🤷‍♂️  Or……am I the one who is fucked up?

#menandmentalhealth
#silence
#weakness

Depression

Tired of fuckingg everything and everyone. Everyone around me are into a relationship or have the one go to person, someone they have at the end of the day to talk to them and make them feel better about anything that's disturbing. Feeling way too lonely I don't know for what else or for what not things. Nothing feels right either, tired mentally as well as physically

Lonely

Who says it flirting and not "hain jo iraade batadu tumko, Sharma hi jaogi tum" 😍😉

Crush

Everyday I think I will not react in this weird triggered way with my bf but i do. 
I have so much trauma and anxiety stored in my body it comes out in the least expected way when triggered in the form of lack of communication, connection or not being heard, not being seen - as it has always.. so when my bf /current partner behaves as such.. It triggers me.. Somatically too when I notice sensations in my legs. 

I have been experiencing brain fog and internal shame alot. and with the brain fog and massive anxiety I tend to not connect with people I plan/intend to. Including therapists.. And taking actions which I ought to. 

Things like regular travel and moving and packing.. And meeting new people ot moving on, which are really normal and may come naturally to adults, as a 28 yr old gets very difficult for me. Planning a little trip or to be on the go with remote work.. Is paralyzing me and I am looking for connection, or the fact that I'll be missed and my bf wants to spend time with me before I go and other affirmations. But no getting even that communicate d from him and otherwise feeling a sinking feeling within.. I feel bad and triggered. 

Traveling might be a very normal thing.. Or to work remotely on the go and make decisions.. But then why am I so clueless and scared and anxious while making them. 
I am planning a trip to Bangalore for a while and nearby.. Everyday drawing strength but also accumulating lots of fears, shame and abundant loneliness. 

I tried to talk and have a word with my bf too.. But he seems to not get it and totally overlook it. Maybe it's my need for connection + inner loveliness and also dissociating and not wanting to settle. But also.. His red. flags. 

Why is a normal travel appearing such a big deal and meeting me with so much shame? 

I hope I find the strength and connections and not get so paralyzed in decision making and living..forever in shame and survival mode. I wish to be and I hope I can

Adulting

I feel like the love is lost. Maybe it’s the number of years it’s been or maybe there’s nothing else left for us. We talk but it seems more like it is an obligation rather than something we look forward to. I’m not unhappy but I don’t feel quite in love anymore, almost as if there were an off and on switch to this. And right now the love switch is off.

Relationships

I tried to save a cat he was ill from 5 days and when we take him to doctor then he died there because of shock he was a stray cat ... I don't know whether i have done it right or wrong that i took him to Doctor or should i let him the way he was .

Sitting out here in the balcony, just giving time to myself, I just feel so alone. Even being in this big city Chandigarh. I feel alone.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts