According to you, Which country is best for quality of living? Why?

3am Thoughts

I just dont want to do this job. I dont even understand a bit of it like I dont even know how to complete the work given to me. My mom also says you are not taking your job seriously but how should I tell her that I dont even understand a bit of it. Also if I resign I dont even have another plan. I'm completely fucked now.

Career

Anyone here from canada? Indian International student?

Education

so my brother's kind of a big deal. he's good at studies, sports AND extracurricular activities. but I'm happy for him although a little jealous. the thing that really gets to me is that he has topped all his exams, got admitted to a reputable college and has won numerous scholarships. kind of the star-child. i feel left out and dumb, mostly. my boards are due next year and i am so stressed. i know i will disappoint my mom and family members and not only them, his teachers and friends also count on me to score above 95% i always feel compared to him and i have been avoiding it for as long as i could but things are getting serious. numerous private tutors, barely any free time and ofcourse, the pressure. i do not want to know what is going to happen if i don't score as much as they want me to. i know i could study harder but it just doesn't happen. i have studied the best i can and even then, i can only score 85% (which, btw, is a horrible percentage according to my mother) 

Exam

My parents are so stupid and pathetic. I hate them.
They were looking for my 12th board certificate. I told them that I never got one. They literally started saying that I misplaced and all And I told them again that iI didn't got one. I even texted my friend and asked her and she said the same that we weren't given the certificate.
I told my parents that none of my classmate have the certificate.
Then they started yelling that I forgot to bring from school.
I told them that mom and my sister went to my school for the marksheet and certis. 
How tf is that my mistake or even a mistake. we weren't provided one from school. Its not like I have passed 12th two times that I have knowledge of the documents that they give.
So somehow I downloaded one from digilocker. And the matter resolved.
But as soon as I left the room, they started laughing and discussing that I forgot to get the certificate from school..
How the fu"* Its my mistake. I fkin hate them so much. No matter what I tell them they never believe me. Always finding faults in everything I do. I just hate this life. Also I cant stop crying. Why tf do I have to deal with such jerks always. I dont even regret saying that.



Anxiety

Today was my parents meeting...
I am usually week in maths and my math's score is low my mother harrassed me in front my principal, maths teacher and class teacher by criticising me I cannot stop thinking of it.. no motivation to live and did want to go to school and face them. Wish if I could die .... They all criticised me ...and i just want to cry ... Even though I worked hard she was only pointing my failure I wish if I could die right now .... Can anyone reply what should I do .... Every moment I think about this and of how I will go to school..... Mt teacher is ver happy because she understood no one in the family will support and she can say whatever she wants to say to me .
They all said i am a week students and I have no potential to study. That demotivate me a lot .... I left my aim .. my mother is so happy that she was able to criticize me.. no one support me .. in my difficult time..I was trying to motivate myself as every failure will have a success...but today....................................

Dreams

How to make a career as a Counseling Psychologist?. Can I do a course and become one?

I have been trying to treat a non threatening but definitely an embarrassing medical condition which is palmer hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating), but the results are not great and I am getting frustrated 😔, I should give it time but I am thinking about quitting this and go to surgery which is my last hope. 

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