Aaj kya baat hai? Sab anonymously post kar rahe hai... 🤔
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What's up today? Everyone is posting anonymously.... 🤔

FOMO

Ahhhh. Feeling so low. Very much. Tired. But have some work to do.urgent. but no mood. No energy. Wanna talk with old friends.

3am Thoughts

Im so sad because i lost my temper and misunderstood someone and later felt very bad for my behaviour...everytime i try to stay calm and try not to respond for a situation but i am loosing my control due to my short temper....

Anger Issues

I don't know why the vibes are so awkward these days.
Like we pretend to be happy but deep inside we know that we aren't. 🙂

Someone asks if I am ok… 
What I say- Yeah I am just a little tired
Vs
What I say in my head- No  I am not ok, I am useless, I am annoying, I am loud, I am nothing, I am worthless, I am no one, I am sensitive, I am tired, I am sick of being used, I am sick of having people call me attention seeking for doing the things I do. I am always overthinking things like did I make her cry, it is all my fault, why did I do that, was I too loud, Why did I say that, Did I say something. I am always over reacting at the smallest of issues, I am always making big deals out of nothing I get hurt over the smallest little insult, I cry like a baby too much, I can’t eat, I don’t eat, I can’t sleep, I don’t sleep, I miss Nik, I can’t do anything to help myself, I have gone to mum about it but she says start a diet a healthy body means a healthy mind. I. can’t. eat. I don’t know what to do anymore I want to cry. I want to scream. I don’t know what to do. When I cut myself I feel so much better. When I look at Nik’s face I cry because I know what I am doing to myself right now is hurting him as well I want to apologise to him but knowing him he will just say its fine. But it isn’t I know it isn’t I have treated him so badly lately. I have been so distant from him, I have been telling Amy things that I haven’t been telling him and he thinks that I can’t trust him when I would trust him with my life I am just not telling him because he doesn’t need more stress on his mind than he already has. I want to give him a hug I want to feel him in my arms I just want to see Nik. Why is he so far away I wish we could have lived just a little closer so we could at least see each other like once a month. It isn’t fair everyone else has a boyfriend or girlfriend that they get to see every day, they get to give each other hugs and kisses but not me and Nik, no, we are stuck sending each other virtual hugs and kisses. I am sick of having to wait I just want to stop feeling once and for all. I want to feel nothing but affection for Nik and my family. I wish I could stop thinking the things I think. I wish I could sleep, I wish I could eat. I wish I could be accepted in society as who I am not who I am not. I wish I could actually go out in public without the fear of what other people are thinking about me I want to be able to see my friends without thinking that they are using me or they are just going to replace me. It is hard having to do all of this stuff I am only a kid why do I have to go through all of this. All I need is a few hugs and kisses from Nik and I would feel so much better I would feel so much happier. I don’t know what is going on with me and whatever it is I don’t like it at all. I recently saw a Tik tok of how small we really are compared to the rest of the universe and turns out… we are like nothing compared to everything else so why would it matter if one of us just disappears and doesn’t come back. So what if someone dies what difference is it gonna make there will be a whole new person to take my place if I died. I wish I could just stop thinking about this stuff. I wish I could go back to how I was before I started feeling like this.


Relationships

Hi there..
I have seen conversations here which doesn't last long and I don't think such short conversations helps much for most of the people.
I just want to say if anyone wants to have a good talk or share anything.. hit me up on lovefsoul@gmail.com. 

No judgements just sharing & caring.

Be safe

Friends

I met a guy[N]  in college via mutuals. He used to Like my college best friend but my best friend wasn’t interest in him. He was sad and depressed craving for the love. I helped him to move on and focus on himself and his career . But in no time he had fallen for me . Though I liked him too but I wasn’t in a phase to have a relationship with him. We had really deep emotional connect and somehow he was pushing me to be in relationship Bcus he was insecure that I might go for someone else.I asked him to give me few months because I wasn’t ready for that phase yet. But soon after so much fights and trying to make him understand that I need time, he didn’t understand and I had to block him from my life for a while. Months later I got to know he hooked up with my best friend. I was shattered but it made me hate him because whatever he used words like “I love you I want you in life forever” didn’t matter to me anymore. It seemed he was in his temporary love phase.
I had to move on so I started distracting myself , started talking to another guy[A]. He was sweet and almost 6-7months later we were in relationship. There were instances when N saw me with A and it became awkward and he seemed upset. There was one time when N verbally abused in the corridor in front of my best friend out of his frustration but then apologised over the text later.
I didn’t react but I was very hurt . 
3.5yrs later we met again but this time over a trip . We are well settled Software engineers . I was still in relationship with A but I wasn’t quite happy because of lots of conflicts and  communication gap and his unambitious nature. Over the trip to Goa , N started flirting with me and he didn’t know I am still in relationship. so I told him before he could think that I am available. Though travelling is my therapy and it really made me think that I don’t want to be in relationship with A anymore Bcus I cannot take more of it . So soon after the trip I texted him we cannot continue all this anymore and I had to leave him without explanation because I was tired to a saturation, tired of always being a communication initiator and his approach towards life and career. I gave up on him after struggling so much. 
Soon after I started living happily , no waiting for texts no replies nothing. But N was somebody who got the spark again but this time we both were the ones who were not interested in any relationship. So he had love symbol “physical touch” so he offered me situationship without quoting it. He indirectly said I feel peace with you and I told him I just got out of the relationship and I need time to find myself again for my healing. Few months later I told him let’s meet for a cafe brunch kind of. He said let’s do night out. I was little hesitant but we planned night out and had to book a stay . He got me a t shirt as a token of gift and he turned on the Netflix and moved closer to me in cozy blanket. I told him to let’s go out and have food and drinks coz I want something for tummy. We came back from cafe bar by 1am and I was so much drunk that I barely remember how did we started undressing and got naked and started rubbing each other off. Next morning I had regrets not because Of what we did but of the fact that he isn’t looking for a relationship and Bcus I might soon develop a lot feelings for him soon. I started avoiding his next offer for night outs. I told him to meet for brunch’s and lunches Bcus that is what I felt is comfortable for me. But things didn’t go well. Brunches or lunches never happened .He wasn’t ready for emotional intimacy and didn’t want effort it seemed until it’s physical.
After our sexual activity on that night I was kind of afraid and stressed , months went by and he used to comment on the snaps I used to send him. He showed king of interest which I felt and one day I sent him a snap of me partying with my colleagues and he asked for her insta id and I got jealous and I still let him know insta I’d and told him to connect with her anyway but  I was too overwhelmed that I told him I hate him.
..we had few fights( May be only me fighting one sided)
He said I am just looking for good times. I am not looking for any serious relationship. You and I have different wants.
Though in middle we had sexting too! It was such peak that we wanted to see each for physical intimacy.
But just in a matter of month I saw he removed me from Snapchat and Instagram and when I asked him why he did that he said because he got in relationship with someone and it might give his partner anxiety for his past still being revolving around him.

I was like what !! Was he ever interested in me. Was it just a game . He was just having good time with me and to the new person he is relationship.

The night I got to know that I almost choked because my brain couldn’t process all that.

And it still shocks me to see all the reels he kind of used to share me months back.

I don’t know I just feel so terrible now 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts