Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

a letter to my ex:
yesterday would have been our 2 year anniversary. except I broke up with you in January.
I spent the day with my best friends. I looked fucking great. I just fucking looked like I wanted to, and no, nothing like the “sweet”, muted girl you dated. I wore my goddamn eyeliner and mascara, feeling like Effy from Skins, just like I like. you would have hated it and I love that.
I don’t miss you. I don’t feel bad for you.
I want you to stop texting me. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you ever again. Don’t come goddamn looking for me in 5 years.
you still make me angry. I’m working on it though. releasing the weird power you had over me. its wild how you still think you have that power. I release it by doing alll the things you wouldn’t like me to do, like letting my edgy side take over, caring less about school, smoking and generally giving less of a fuck. (and to anyone who’s concerned, I’ve got my shit under control and im not going rogue, don’t you worry).
I adore being my own person. And being alone. I love me without you.
I was so lonely and pathetic and that’s why I stayed with you. I didn’t think I was but I look back now and cringe. I spent 6 months fucking debating whether or not to break up with you every day. It made me sick. it made my anxiety worse. and I still asked you to FaceTime. like a fucking loser.
Then on 24th January 2021 I jumped off the fucking deep end and now you’re gone and I couldn’t be happier. jeez do I love me without you. its crazy.
im getting my hair cut short tomorrow, and another piercing.
In short, good riddance and fuck right off.
Love me x

P.S: if you’re debating whether or not to break up with your partner, my unsolicited advice whilst having no knowledge of who you are is goddamn do it. spend that energy on yourself and you’ll be 1000x happier. to anyone who’s bothered to read this, join me in saying a big fuck you to relationships. and also why in gods name have you read my ramblings lmao. see ya.