Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

A Break-up note to self

It’s not working anymore.

It’s been several days for me fighting with my own corrupt conscience and thoughts.
For all the owlish nights and lazy days you put me in the comfort zone of disaster. It was beautiful till I realised that your protection was merely a restriction. At all the times we seemed to coordinate beautifully but I was bluffed by your manipulative desires perpetually.

I still remember you sowing the seeds of anxiety within me to nurture self-doubt, and clasping my mind with the domestic walls to stay sickly in past.
At times you pumped in the insecurities of world making me reclusive, knocking the door of heartbreak to make me revolve around the pain repetitive.

Your company at the smoky rooms were kind but the damage was just mine.
Poisoning sweet intoxication to keep me happy, you let no chances in turning this body to a scrappy. As much did I try to be motivated, you dumped me down to the thoughts of depression , squashing me to suffocate with the eruptions of emotion.

I was blind as a bat to let you sculpt me weak with excuses to escape from the challenges, as you were always there to help me give up easily. Forcing me to focus more on my flaws than to gaze at my growth. Deliberately did you overshadow my pain over my power, never letting me resolve the disputes of mind for the soul to evolve.

Rushing to hug me by my mind like a sweetheart though , you wrested the sand below my feet like waves of the closest foe. I appreciate you for backing me at my hardest times being unaware that it was you who put me there. But now I can’t let you to break me down anymore.

For years of togetherness neither did you deserve me nor did I owe you.

You were born within me by my consent unknowingly and made me to exist for the world, but now you die within me knowingly as I decided to live. I’m oblivious if you are my mind or heart or just a negative thought, but my soul needs estrangement that deserves serenity unsought.

Yes, it’s not working anymore.