8months ago, I broke up with my ex and decided to stay away from all this relationship stuff. In this time, even I isolated myself from many of my friends. But one of classmate became a good friend of mine and I started sharing my daily routine with him. I feel comfortable with him & also he prioritizes me. 2days ago, he proposed me over text, i didnāt know that he likes me, I was just being a good friend. I have not given him a proper reply and have asked for some time to think.
After my breakup I always had lack of someone who can love and support me now when Iām getting someone, Iām confused, whether I should accept his proposal or not.
I just donāt want to accept him for a reason that rn I donāt have anyone to talk to. I donāt love him at this moment but I donāt hate him either, heās a nice man to be with.
He doesnāt know about my ex and before anything I want to tell him about my past and know his reaction
But if he had no problem and he agrees how should I convince myself for a new relationship or just how should I give myself an another chance Iām very scared, I donāt want to get hurt again and thatās the reason Iām confused about new relationship
Chandan R @stark_0707
I would recommend you to take time and let him know your decision
Donāt know what is the future he can be the guy you deserve šš
Take some time out and build your friendship and bonding and then think of relationshipā¦
Should I tell him everything about my past?
Well itās upto you, if you think itās important for him to know then sure say it to him
David @davidcr7
The should be like this:
1.) Decide first whether you are ready or not only then share anything.
2) if yes, only then tell him about your past and if not then donāt tell him about your past. Whatās the point of sharing your past with someone you donāt want to be with for rest of your life(if this is what you are looking for , an eternal love , an eternal partner. However things might not work out but goal should be this).
David @davidcr7
Correction: āThe process should be like thisā
I wanna continue as friends with him but heāll keep trying on me until I say a clear no and Iām scared to say a clear no coz what if after this I lose him as a friend too thatās why I was thinking of telling him about my past and then Iāll say that a need time for being into a proper relationship
Yes there is a probability that you will lose him after that.
Just ask yourself thisā if you love someone and he reject you, will you be able to talk with them the way you used to? I guess not.
Once both knows about that there is a feeling far greater than friendship then the approach will change.
The one does not love will try to limit the conversation and the one who love will wait for your message all day and this process is indeed tiring and when he realise he is not getting what he wants he will lose feelings for you so do friendship.
Expectations are indeed the killer of relations.
Just ask yourself this while contemplating ā why do I want to stay with someone who i like but donāt like the way he want me to? Then think if the same thing he contemplate about. Will the response be same. No, but the end results will be.
Either you lose feelings for him or he will.
David @davidcr7
One more think to ask yourself about āhis presence makes me happy but whatās the reason i donāt want to commit?
Is it because of my past ?
Yeah because of my past, Iām scared to get committed
So you do like him , donāt you?
Maybe
I got it now.
See, this one of the approach and probably the safest one, for now atleast.
ā tell him that i like you too but i had a past and i have not overcome that. If i accept this relationship now, i donāt think it will work out. So i guess we should give some more time to us.
Note: acknowledged is the key here. So do acknowledge his efforts at the same time do give some positive feedbacks like once in a while ask him if he wanna hand out.
The thing is you need to maintain the bond of friendship while strengthening the relationship (which will happen) .
I aināt a love guruš, being a women you probably knows better than him how to get female attention. So give him opportunity to prove himself.
Sorry for some mistakes in formation. Skipped some words and this autocorrect šš, ye sunvayega kisi dinš.
However best of luck .
U wanna talk
Why not
shiva kumar @shivavolley99
Ask yourself the question that you have moved on from your ex? And make sure that you are not gonna trap.in a rebound relationshipā¦and donāt mind if asking thisā¦ whether you broke up with him or he was the one initiated?
Sampada F. @sampada_foteda...
I am sorry you have to go through this. Must be getting so difficult. I am a peer listener here. You can reach out to vent out/talk if you want! Take care
Abhijeet A.K @akabhi
Itās not about the past what has happened unless it is very important to tell him and about the relationship now to start again then donāt take calls very fast this time.
So take ur time and this time donāt keep any expectations from him itās good for yourself.
Just go slow and steady and know him very well and his future plans and see does ur vibes matches bcoz later there shouldnāt be like I donāt like his attitude or the way he is treating you and all
See my advice is not too good but do urself a favr say like lets date but not like committedā¦or officially date see hw hes wat r his thinking of wat relationship is nd hw it wrks especially parts which include personal spaceā¦judgentalā¦physicalā¦nd like dress u wear who u talk toā¦ If u feel his reaction is good fr u go ahead ā¦or uknw ā¦heart break aftr beeing used or just loss of frnd wats bttrā¦nd yea if u have insecurities of him talking to oth grls dont say yesā¦u wil loose ur mind trust me
