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⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

BreakupThought

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Anonymous

8months ago, I broke up with my ex and decided to stay away from all this relationship stuff. In this time, even I isolated myself from many of my friends. But one of classmate became a good friend of mine and I started sharing my daily routine with him. I feel comfortable with him & also he prioritizes me. 2days ago, he proposed me over text, i didn’t know that he likes me, I was just being a good friend. I have not given him a proper reply and have asked for some time to think.
After my breakup I always had lack of someone who can love and support me now when I’m getting someone, I’m confused, whether I should accept his proposal or not.
I just don’t want to accept him for a reason that rn I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t love him at this moment but I don’t hate him either, he’s a nice man to be with.
He doesn’t know about my ex and before anything I want to tell him about my past and know his reaction
But if he had no problem and he agrees how should I convince myself for a new relationship or just how should I give myself an another chance I’m very scared, I don’t want to get hurt again and that’s the reason I’m confused about new relationship

Profile picture for Now&Me member @davidcr7
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @shivavolley99
Profile picture for Now&Me member @sampada_fotedar
Profile picture for Now&Me member @akabhi
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20 replies

Chandan R @stark_0707

I would recommend you to take time and let him know your decision
Don’t know what is the future he can be the guy you deserve 😉💕

@kai_06

Take some time out and build your friendship and bonding and then think of relationship…

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Anonymous

Should I tell him everything about my past?

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Anonymous

Well it’s upto you, if you think it’s important for him to know then sure say it to him

Profile picture for Now&Me member @davidcr7

David @davidcr7

The should be like this:
1.) Decide first whether you are ready or not only then share anything.
2) if yes, only then tell him about your past and if not then don’t tell him about your past. What’s the point of sharing your past with someone you don’t want to be with for rest of your life(if this is what you are looking for , an eternal love , an eternal partner. However things might not work out but goal should be this).

Profile picture for Now&Me member @davidcr7

David @davidcr7

Correction: “The process should be like this”

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Anonymous

I wanna continue as friends with him but he’ll keep trying on me until I say a clear no and I’m scared to say a clear no coz what if after this I lose him as a friend too that’s why I was thinking of telling him about my past and then I’ll say that a need time for being into a proper relationship

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Anonymous

Yes there is a probability that you will lose him after that.
Just ask yourself this— if you love someone and he reject you, will you be able to talk with them the way you used to? I guess not.
Once both knows about that there is a feeling far greater than friendship then the approach will change.
The one does not love will try to limit the conversation and the one who love will wait for your message all day and this process is indeed tiring and when he realise he is not getting what he wants he will lose feelings for you so do friendship.
Expectations are indeed the killer of relations.

Just ask yourself this while contemplating — why do I want to stay with someone who i like but don’t like the way he want me to? Then think if the same thing he contemplate about. Will the response be same. No, but the end results will be.
Either you lose feelings for him or he will.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @davidcr7

David @davidcr7

One more think to ask yourself about —his presence makes me happy but what’s the reason i don’t want to commit?
Is it because of my past ?

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Anonymous

Yeah because of my past, I’m scared to get committed

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Anonymous

So you do like him , don’t you?

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Anonymous

Maybe

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Anonymous

I got it now.
See, this one of the approach and probably the safest one, for now atleast.
→ tell him that i like you too but i had a past and i have not overcome that. If i accept this relationship now, i don’t think it will work out. So i guess we should give some more time to us.
Note: acknowledged is the key here. So do acknowledge his efforts at the same time do give some positive feedbacks like once in a while ask him if he wanna hand out.
The thing is you need to maintain the bond of friendship while strengthening the relationship (which will happen) .
I ain’t a love guru😂, being a women you probably knows better than him how to get female attention. So give him opportunity to prove himself.

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Anonymous

Sorry for some mistakes in formation. Skipped some words and this autocorrect 😑😑, ye sunvayega kisi din😂.
However best of luck .

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Anonymous

U wanna talk

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Anonymous

Why not

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shivavolley99

shiva kumar @shivavolley99

Ask yourself the question that you have moved on from your ex? And make sure that you are not gonna trap.in a rebound relationship…and don’t mind if asking this… whether you broke up with him or he was the one initiated?

Profile picture for Now&Me member @sampada_fotedar

Sampada F. @sampada_foteda...

I am sorry you have to go through this. Must be getting so difficult. I am a peer listener here. You can reach out to vent out/talk if you want! Take care

Profile picture for Now&Me member @akabhi

Abhijeet A.K @akabhi

It’s not about the past what has happened unless it is very important to tell him and about the relationship now to start again then don’t take calls very fast this time.
So take ur time and this time don’t keep any expectations from him it’s good for yourself.
Just go slow and steady and know him very well and his future plans and see does ur vibes matches bcoz later there shouldn’t be like I don’t like his attitude or the way he is treating you and all

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Anonymous

See my advice is not too good but do urself a favr say like lets date but not like committed…or officially date see hw hes wat r his thinking of wat relationship is nd hw it wrks especially parts which include personal space…judgental…physical…nd like dress u wear who u talk to… If u feel his reaction is good fr u go ahead …or uknw …heart break aftr beeing used or just loss of frnd wats bttr…nd yea if u have insecurities of him talking to oth grls dont say yes…u wil loose ur mind trust me

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