8months ago, I broke up with my ex and decided to stay away from all this relationship stuff. In this time, even I isolated myself from many of my friends. But one of classmate became a good friend of mine and I started sharing my daily routine with him. I feel comfortable with him & also he prioritizes me. 2days ago, he proposed me over text, i didnβt know that he likes me, I was just being a good friend. I have not given him a proper reply and have asked for some time to think.
After my breakup I always had lack of someone who can love and support me now when Iβm getting someone, Iβm confused, whether I should accept his proposal or not.
I just donβt want to accept him for a reason that rn I donβt have anyone to talk to. I donβt love him at this moment but I donβt hate him either, heβs a nice man to be with.
He doesnβt know about my ex and before anything I want to tell him about my past and know his reaction
But if he had no problem and he agrees how should I convince myself for a new relationship or just how should I give myself an another chance Iβm very scared, I donβt want to get hurt again and thatβs the reason Iβm confused about new relationship
Chandan R @stark_0707
I would recommend you to take time and let him know your decision
Donβt know what is the future he can be the guy you deserve ππ
Take some time out and build your friendship and bonding and then think of relationshipβ¦
Should I tell him everything about my past?
Well itβs upto you, if you think itβs important for him to know then sure say it to him
David @davidcr7
The should be like this:
1.) Decide first whether you are ready or not only then share anything.
2) if yes, only then tell him about your past and if not then donβt tell him about your past. Whatβs the point of sharing your past with someone you donβt want to be with for rest of your life(if this is what you are looking for , an eternal love , an eternal partner. However things might not work out but goal should be this).
David @davidcr7
Correction: βThe process should be like thisβ
I wanna continue as friends with him but heβll keep trying on me until I say a clear no and Iβm scared to say a clear no coz what if after this I lose him as a friend too thatβs why I was thinking of telling him about my past and then Iβll say that a need time for being into a proper relationship
Yes there is a probability that you will lose him after that.
Just ask yourself thisβ if you love someone and he reject you, will you be able to talk with them the way you used to? I guess not.
Once both knows about that there is a feeling far greater than friendship then the approach will change.
The one does not love will try to limit the conversation and the one who love will wait for your message all day and this process is indeed tiring and when he realise he is not getting what he wants he will lose feelings for you so do friendship.
Expectations are indeed the killer of relations.
Just ask yourself this while contemplating β why do I want to stay with someone who i like but donβt like the way he want me to? Then think if the same thing he contemplate about. Will the response be same. No, but the end results will be.
Either you lose feelings for him or he will.
David @davidcr7
One more think to ask yourself about βhis presence makes me happy but whatβs the reason i donβt want to commit?
Is it because of my past ?
Yeah because of my past, Iβm scared to get committed
So you do like him , donβt you?
Maybe
I got it now.
See, this one of the approach and probably the safest one, for now atleast.
β tell him that i like you too but i had a past and i have not overcome that. If i accept this relationship now, i donβt think it will work out. So i guess we should give some more time to us.
Note: acknowledged is the key here. So do acknowledge his efforts at the same time do give some positive feedbacks like once in a while ask him if he wanna hand out.
The thing is you need to maintain the bond of friendship while strengthening the relationship (which will happen) .
I ainβt a love guruπ, being a women you probably knows better than him how to get female attention. So give him opportunity to prove himself.
Sorry for some mistakes in formation. Skipped some words and this autocorrect ππ, ye sunvayega kisi dinπ.
However best of luck .
U wanna talk
Why not
shiva kumar @shivavolley99
Ask yourself the question that you have moved on from your ex? And make sure that you are not gonna trap.in a rebound relationshipβ¦and donβt mind if asking thisβ¦ whether you broke up with him or he was the one initiated?
Sampada F. @sampada_foteda...
I am sorry you have to go through this. Must be getting so difficult. I am a peer listener here. You can reach out to vent out/talk if you want! Take care
Abhijeet A.K @akabhi
Itβs not about the past what has happened unless it is very important to tell him and about the relationship now to start again then donβt take calls very fast this time.
So take ur time and this time donβt keep any expectations from him itβs good for yourself.
Just go slow and steady and know him very well and his future plans and see does ur vibes matches bcoz later there shouldnβt be like I donβt like his attitude or the way he is treating you and all
See my advice is not too good but do urself a favr say like lets date but not like committedβ¦or officially date see hw hes wat r his thinking of wat relationship is nd hw it wrks especially parts which include personal spaceβ¦judgentalβ¦physicalβ¦nd like dress u wear who u talk toβ¦ If u feel his reaction is good fr u go ahead β¦or uknw β¦heart break aftr beeing used or just loss of frnd wats bttrβ¦nd yea if u have insecurities of him talking to oth grls dont say yesβ¦u wil loose ur mind trust me