37, going to marry the love of my life soon. He’s in another city. Always been in a LDR. He’s not into saying I love you or I miss you. Sexually we’re okay but its mostly about him. Talks to me when it suits him not me. Am I going crazy? Goes into radio silence and gives me anxiety attacks. Says sorry but repeats. Is this normal? I love him like crazy.
I’m only 23, so perhaps not the best person to be advising you, but then again I have had my share of serious relationships. My ex-boyfriend was this way; interested in the relationship when he wanted. Left me confused, worried and extremely upset.
My boyfriend now, is extremely loving, and I’m the one who can’t say “I love you” but I still mean it. He is communicative, he is there for me, he is a great support. Not only when he wants to, but even when I need him. And if I had to ever think about marriage, it would most likely be him.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, if despite you telling him he isn’t making any extra efforts to give you attention or be there for you when you need him, then will he be available after you get married? And if you’re getting into a marriage concerned that this person doesn’t love you enough then something isn’t right. Both of you should know exactly how much you love each other and cannot wait to spend your lives together. LDRs are hard, I won’t deny it, but the drifting apart can happen over time, and not something that is part of your relationship’s identity. I strongly recommend talking to him about how you feel. Because if your bond is strong, you should be able to openly talk to each other about whatever is bothering you. That’s marriage. Getting through the hard times.
I don’t think you’re going crazy. Often, if a behaviour pattern is repeated, it is usually who the person is. As the saying goes, When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them.
Bitter truth, but very powerful!
Don’t Love Anyone more that you forget the inner you…