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Anonymous

26F South Indian, born and raised in North India. In love with a guy who’s a North Indian. My family would never let this happen. They are pressuring me into selecting a South Indian guy from Bharat Matrimony. I love him and he loves me too but we both can’t date because of our different backgrounds. I asked him out twice. But he says he has responsibilities towards his family and he can’t do this right now.
I feel a soulmate connection with him. It’s so strong that it’s killing me to let him go. I have tried to convince myself that I do not want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me and isn’t ready to even try. But I don’t know it feels so strong and overwhelming. I don’t know what to do. I am in so much pain right now. I don’t know if I will get over him.
Being around him is so magical. I feel happy and safe around him.
How do I move on from him?

Profile picture for Now&Me member @turtle09
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8 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @turtle09

Turtle @turtle09

Hi… Coming straight to the point. If the guy was ready to get into a relationship with you and if you both are in a same page it would have been a bit more easy. But since he is not ready for that its hard but its good for you to forget him. We always tend to go behind people whom we like. Thats like human’s basic instinct.But it is wise to find people who loves you and care about you .
I am still not sure about the arranged marriage . But There are people who found love in arranged marriages too .
I know its really hard to forget him.
-I could suggest you to watch the pour the heart out episodes by wetheyoung. Thats one way to start. Its basically the advices straight from the psychologist and relationship expert. It helped me in assessing what is going on in my relationships.
- Stay strong dear. You will find someone who deserves you and loves you back like you love them.
- Even though when you feel you got over him you might end up feeling like how you felt at the beginning. These are the times you have to be there for yourself and ask yourself what you deserve.
-And since I am from south I could tell you South Indian guys are not that bad. You might find the right one. But the heart wants want it wants. 🤷🏻‍♀️
- You could always come back and share with us if you feel low or you could share your journey. We all are here to support you.

Take care.
Thank you for reading the long message.

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Anonymous

Hi Thank you so much for reading my long post and lending a compassionate hand. I know I am late to respond but I took time off from digital media to do some healing.
You are right, I deserved better. Lol no offence to South Indian guys. I find them attractive but the preferences my parents have set makes it difficult. By the time you let your guard down and think you might fall for a person, my parents and relatives come up with their reasoning to not pursue a connection which is frustrating.
I am over him now. But he keeps texting me every now and then. I even told him that I want to save my efforts for someone who actually shows up and he agrees but then a few weeks later slides again into my DMs.
I am back into my senses now. It felt great around him because I was fantasizing him to be someone else. In reality, he is nothing like what I would want in my partner. I am more convinced why it is not a right direction. Plus he is selfish and only texts me when he needs to vent out or needs an emotional support. That makes it easier to move on as now I see him for who he really is.

Long story short, I am happily single and got things planned. Focusing on building myself right now and hopefully will meet my person along the way. :)

Thank you so much for being there with me during my tough phase.

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Anonymous

Also I did checkout the youtube channel WeTheYoung. It was enlightening. I have seen all of their podcasts and learnt a lot from them. Thank you for recommending them.
Take care. Stay safe. :)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @turtle09

Turtle @turtle09

Hey ! Im really glad you watched the videos n podcasts. Glad it helped you.
Yeah it gets better once we see them for who they are rather than whom we think they are.
Hope you end up with the person you deserve.
Take care.

@takumi27

I’m from India too… I understand how that feels… Moving on is quite hard and heart breaking. Stay with your friends and spend time with children. Watch some series…
Cuz it is going to take few months to move on. Good luck girl.

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Anonymous

Thank you @takumi27! Your wishes made it. I have moved on and I am in a really better mental space right now. Thank you so much for being a listener and letting me know you’re here. :)
Stay safe and take care.

@lekhraj

wait for the right person. Think like that he is not the right person for you

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Anonymous

@lekhraj Yes that’s the plan. :) Thank you so much!
Stay safe and take care.

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