2 days ago im having sleep over at my boyfriend's house. we're having fun. but then untill now he seems like show no interenst to me. idk why. or am i just overreacting? now i am the first one call and texting him. what should i do?

Relationships

This is what I wrote about my bf… I need help what do I do when I feel this way..

I’m so insecure, I look at my self different now. What if I’m not as pretty as her or as cool or nice as her. What if she’s better than me? All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to love me. But what if I’m not good enough..? What if he likes her more than me and just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings? I hate seeing him hangout with girls now because what if something happens.. I won’t know.. and I can’t do anything to stop them. They are 6 hours away.. how am I supposed to know what’s happening.. it’s been four hours that he hasn’t texted me and now he’s at a girls house.. and  won’t respond.. what if he’s doing things with her..? I’ve sat here and cried for about 2 hrs now… I know he’ll leave me, everyone leaves me. I try so hard I’ve put some much effort into it. I know I’m not perfect or prettier than her but I just want you to know I really did try. I love you so much and care about you even more. It absolutely tears me apart to see you want someone else. I’m so insecure, I don’t even love myself anymore. I can’t stop crying I’m so broken. It hurts so much to see you want someone else. I’d do anything to be perfect and be skinny and pretty.  I stopped eating so I could be skinnier because guys go for skinner girls because they are really pretty… well I’m not I’m just side trash. I want to be pretty so so bad. 



im just really confused. There's alot going on rn. I failed in one my subjects at college and i havent told anyone about it yet (gave it for re-evaluation). As if tht wasnt stressing me out enough i always feel like im not doing enough at my internship although i love working there but im just so stressed with everything. They have offered me a job but if i dont recover from that exam which i failed, im afraid ill loose the opportunity. On top of tht im going through a relationship crisis. I've always wanted to be in a relationship but now that i am in one and have been in for 3 years, now im not sure if this is what i want. I love him but i'd rather just be married and settled than going through all the ups and downs of the relationship. Im a muslim and have many restrictions (my parents know about him which makes me even more cautious about not doing anything to hurt them). Im just overwhelmed at the moment.

Stress

I have a little crush problem.... I have crush on this guy and we often flirt and things like that. I know him since i was born. He would often tell me how he wanted to kiss me, be with me... i started having feelings for him. So we would flirt like every night and we would talk a lotttttt. I really thought he wanted to have shomething with me. 3 nights ago i started our usual flirting. I said i wanna kiss him. He said he can't kiss me bc he has a girlfriend... They started dating before few weeks. I was so sad and embarrassed. Tears started roalling down my face. I felt really bad and i felt a lot of feelings i can't explain. I don't know if i should move on or wait... Maybe their relationship will end soon, maybe he will love me after. I just can't let go of him. He was only guy I felt comfortable with, i felt safe with him, i felt like he loved me. I am not trying to ruin his relationship with that girl, i will probably wait for it to end... I need help. So should i wait or muve on?

Any tips on self healing after a healthy relationship and breakup? This hurts way more than any toxic relationships or breakups I’ve had. Knowing that it wouldn’t meant to be and that it would never work out but making it happen and finally accepting the reality of it. We’ve went our separate ways and now I’m just slowly waiting for the love to fade. He said we shouldn’t contact each other anymore so that we can heal the proper way and I know he’s right but I can’t do it. One hour I’m ok the next hour I’m balling my eyes out. This is an emotional roller coaster and I’m grieving but I don’t want to let this breakup take me down because I still have a job to do and bills to pay.

Breakup

On 24th May 2020, I broke up with my boyfriend....
It was my first true relationship....
We broke up but there are still some misunderstandings from my side...N I was the one who said that we cannot contact each other after we break up.....Even after almost 1 year I am not able to move on.... He is in the same clg group.... It makes me feel angry whenever I hear his voice.... I still make fake scenarios in my mind about us being together.... It makes me feel worst.... 
This is how we ended :-
He once pranked me by saying that he was going to propose to a girl(that girl already had a crush on him) I got scared because we were in a relationship n it was not going well....
He said that he just wrote that to get my attention....
Next time when he pranked he indirectly said that 'I want to break up with u' I agreed to it....Because he said that I was in a relationship with u because u were happy with me.....I felt like I was a burden on him....I agreed to the breakup.....he said that I was just testing u....

I kinda have a habit to write '....' instead of 'hmmm' so when he said I was testing u....I replied with "...." He then said that I love u and all that stuff. I was pissed off so I continuously replied with "...." Now I wanted to irritate him....

The next day in the morning he restricted my Instagram account.... N it was my daily routine to text him first in the morning....I waited....for hours....no reply....At last I texted him(SMS) "I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH U" I just wanted his attention....He immediately called me and started to scold me....he didn't even listen to me or ask me that "Why did I write that?" Out of anger I also said let's break up....First time in my life I had got so much furious....

The next thing that he did is the took screenshot n put that in our clg group....N blamed me that I had broken up with him.....
I was like "WHAT THE HELL !!!!"

I tried 3 times after that to patch up but he said that "I have promised my little sister(she was 2 years younger than him) that I will never come in a relationship with u "

I blocked him after that....

N the worst part is that after break up I realized that he manipulated me like mad....
He made me choose between him and my friends.... N I had chosen him....

I lost everything....Just because of him....I have no friends to talk now....

He has everything right now....like friends support, family support....everything

Can anyone help me overcome him????



😖😫😩☹️😞😔😟😞😔😟😕🙁☹️😣😖😫😩

So confused. 
The situation is the following. Me (24F) and my partner (40M) have been living together for two years now and we are certain that we want to start a family together. There are some problems especially for me to start a family where we currently live and it is because in this city they speak my native language but it's a co-oficial language, the other it's a language that only this region speaks in the whole world and at school it's mandatory to learn it. So my future children will be speaking my native language but obligated to receive classes in a language that me and my partner don't know and we won't learn it because in the professional field it's useless. We won't be able to help them with school besides the fact that they will have no use of this language in any other country. So at first we agreed that eventually we will have to move out to start a family. Yes we own an apartment here, all of my partner's frieds and family live here but not any of mine so I get he has more to lose than me... So next year I graduated from university and I'm ready to leave but my partner says that he doesn't want to plan anything so when I come up to places, countries, cities and visas we can apply for (he's a skilled worker with +10 year experience) he says that I'm not planning enough that I'm not taking in considerantion all the requirements that's way I come to him but he says he doesn't want to think about it. I'm driving myself crazy because I want to know what lenguage to learn or get a diploma, I want to make an internships in that place before we move there but he's unable to plan It with me and we had this same conversation over and over again so I told him that leaves me all alone making the decisions and actually doing things that will be easy for me to move to that place. I feel guilty and confused because it's like I'm planning for the future bymyself for myself because I can't count on him or have a single clue of what he wants to do next year. 

Am I being the a-hole? what do I feel so terrible If I'm doing things like exactly how I want my future to be like?

My ex is making me regret abt me moving on

3am Thoughts

Me and my boyfriend broke up yesterday (because he wanted to) and today he is sending me a text asking if I am okay?
What should I even reply? Should I be even replying or just ignoring him? Because he hurt me a lot.

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