kelsey dubose @wtfisgoingo...
11/20/2021
ENTRY #1
Good morning to all the train wrecks and dumpster fires,
It has been roughly 43 days since my life took a radical shift, the last month and a half has been a rollercoaster ride, but not the fun adrenaline high kind, the kind that you find half price tickets on groupon for… the one that you would expect to see in a Mexican restaurant parking lot ran by Sheila and her pet monkey with an eye patch. If ya feel me. It has been mostly downs…. Not many ups. However, this morning I woke up, drove home (or what used to be home) (more like a temporary shelter now) My son was still sweetly sleeping snuggled in the “master” bed when I arrived around 6:30 am (on a Saturday), as I stood beside the king size bed my ex and I spent the last 7 years sharing, I realized for the first time I didn’t want to set the damn thing on fire, that I had absolutely no emotion toward it other than “look how handsome that little dude I am so lucky enough to be blessed with is” he was snoozing, mouth wide open just like his momma!
Is this a turning point? Did I make it through the denial stage? Is it that I know when this is all said and done, I know there’s life out there waiting for me? Fuck if I know… but I know that for today, it felt good to simply just feel okay (ish).
I don’t know what you are currently going through, what you have been through, or what you may go through, but I know that you will have your day where you don’t feel like you got donkey kicked in the forehead and you can breathe a little more. So, hang in there!
From one fellow “I can’t keep my shit together”, to the next!
Laters.
