1 eveing  i had a fight with the person i love because we where in distance relationship due my bad decison making habit & that fight was different , i havent cried till that dat because BOY's DON'T CRY, after the fight i jst sat with my head down my mom came & she asked me y are u setting like this & suddenly i jst bursted out & i cried for an hour and my mom she didnt even tried to wipe my tears i guess she was happy that my relationship was over, 
y is this caste so imp 
i jst love her & so do she 
my parents are jst make things worst 

Stress

I have a question for boys , 

So there was this guy who was really into me for years  and for some reason I was not ready to give a commitment. But abhi 3-4 maheene phle he has got a new girlfriend and now I want him in my life . I may be the evil person here but is it possible to make him breakup with his girlfriend and come back ?  


He still talks to me , he still tells me everything happening in his life , but keeps telling me constantly that he has finally moved on from me 100% . 

We are both 26 years old .
 But his new girlfriend works in his office . 


What are the possibilities ? 

3am Thoughts

Guys i tomorrow is my test and i have decided i wont give it because i havent studied it and i wont accept less marks. 

Just a random thought don't take this seriously why does this happen when You love someone that has cheated you and you just scared of telling him that you still have feelings for him or you still love him like you have done earlier idk why I'm writing this all but it's fine to say what you think or you feel 

just saved up for 5 months and bought my dream guitar!! 

Happy

I don't want to get up ... don't want to do anything....just scrolling through my phone whole day ..... even if I've many things to do.... it's like there is nothing I can get up for. ... I don't feel anything anymore.... I don't trust anyone anymore..... it's just too hard for me to even live 

Depression

Well i feel like crying but for what i want to pursue my dreams but i don't know what am doing now giving false assumptions to me and my dreams 
So when i was in high school i always wanted to  do business my own ,my own business .
After finally deciding and dumping commerce i took on non medical in +1 where i thought it would be good to be science student after all non medical/science student are overall the best well may be not but i thought its good if someday i need to move business i can with specialization in any particular field and starting it all. During the time when most part of the students focus on jee i was not to sure about it i was always bit insecure what if i fail adding to ego i was adamant that i will not take coaching/tuitions for my whole left life as i was all fed up with it taking tuitions from UKG to 5th getting on self study from 6th.
Our school was extremely strict but it was of my choice i decided that i was on it and i was dedicated as i need to pass +2 at any cost . We need to move away to another school after 10th and i  chose to stay away from my friends(bunch of so called thinking themselves as cool teens and richer riches which they were too but not a middle class family like mine can afford) so went for school where no one went from my friends so i would be focusing on my studies all and start all over again in +1 which i do and had amazing memories and joy of life in those two years and can be consider best of all school then my previous years and that was i think the best decision of my life. J made friends great all , no boundaries regarding who is rich/wealthy/caste/religion. Our +2ended and i ranked 1st in my city in all streams the final time i felt proud on myself. I wanted to go abroad to study afterwards no matter which course i know i will give my best then again world is struck by pandemic and as covid comes and my mother was already against to me going abroad and seems to dislike me going away from her git a stronger point to reject what if i lost my precision year. Seeming that i may not be like this i was struck i want to be independent earning but then i was forced to give jee after result i got seat in some branch but i wanted cse then again i was forced to take admission in private university. I was preparing jee advance i went o my school then my principal told my mom to not take admission in that school and give her reference to university in other region where my mums sister was staying bit my father was good with previous university then because of jee mains and advance schedule i was lacking in syllabus complete by the university i had joined major part of portion was missed  i decided to change batch but authorities rejected. My syllabus was really not completed along with assignment that could lead my scholarship to drop and my semester fees was 109000 i thought this cant continue i decided to go with my mom pesting and go to university referred by my principals thinking i need to get admission so it dont matter wherever i get i need ti study myself after all. 20000 admission fees paid to earlier university was not refunded as date for applying for refund for tuition fees was passed along with that university cant even give hostel back as they said if i am leaving university it wont. 1 year i m in my new university all fine i am studying still my mind goes to going abroad studying there. Today i got to know my many friends reached Canada and i grew sad again what if .....
I am doing studies still if feels ... i want that .... my subconscious mind is rejecting this i seem to drift apart 
I had exams Nd abruptly one of my online exam ends landed me in huge trouble just as i was speaking in my native language reading my question to solve (it was a numerical and i was 
Checking values  )and my exam was abruptly ended huge case after meeting online again and again  my 50% scholarship is now threatened maybe after 1 year it will not continue further ....causing me a lose of 260000 lose its a great amount as i m unemployed university student .....i dont know what how ..
On

Education

I’m writing this so it won’t consume me. 
This is the reason why I love the idea of being each other’s first. Kasi kapag may nauna, u can’t help but to compare. Parating may mas. May mas magaling sa k;m;. At nakakatakot magtanong kasi baka sagutin ka lang ng lies. Pwedeng sabihin ikaw so it wouldn’t hurt your feelings but it’s worse. He must love her so much that he hates her so much kasi I remember reading how happy he was bearing the news to his cousin na sinagot na sya. When it’s me, nothing.

Anyone to talk !?

(Don't start with how are u,how is ur day ...etc)🙃

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts