Being lonely is something we all experience from time to time. Loneliness has been identified as an epidemic in many countries, and it has been deepened by the social distancing obligations that came along with the COVID-19 pandemic. However, it's important to know that social isolation by itself isn't the only reason you can feel lonely. We can often feel lonely among friends, in a relationship, and in crowded places too.
Why does it seem wrong to feel lonely in a relationship?
“How can I feel lonely when I’m so loved?”, “I have such wonderful company, I love these people too, but I feel so strange and disconnected.”, “Why don't I feel more fulfilled and happy?” — loneliness is a negative emotional state where we feel alienated, empty, or even unwanted. It's not unusual but it can be incredibly confusing and stressful to feel lonely around people, especially your loved ones.
According to a 2018 study among people who feel dissatisfied with their families, 28% of individuals felt lonely almost all or most of the time. The number of people feeling lonely or unhappy in their homes is rising steadily, with a 2016 survey recording the highest rate of unhappy married couples within the past few decades.
In romantic relationships, a partner may feel lonely if there's a lack of communication, shared interests, or a feeling that one has pulled away. It's possible that you're lonely because your toxic relationship isn't working as well as it once did. It can make us feel troubled, stressed, guilty, anxious, and unwanted. Even among the best of relationships, there can come a time when we lose our emotional connection or don't feel as though we resonate at the same frequency we once did.
It may feel wrong but it often happens to people, and it’s completely normal to feel the way you feel. There are significant reasons behind why we may feel lonely in a relationship.
What Is Making Me Feel Lonely in My Relationship?
If you're lonely in a relationship, it's possible that you're not sharing your concerns, anxieties, and vulnerabilities with your partner. Alternatively, you could be relying too heavily on your partner to help you identify the value in life during difficult times. Couples may experience a rift as a result of situational stressors such as spending more time caring for children or working late at night on work initiatives.
Another possible explanation for why you might feel lonely is that you're attempting to fill a void that has little to do with the relationship or your partner. It's possible that your partner won't be able to fill this emptiness for you or isn't able to recognize what's going wrong. It's possible that you're too tired to interact for intimacy. You may feel obligated (or exhausted) to satisfy someone else's demands. It's critical to determine what's affecting your feelings and to be completely honest with yourself.
Here Are 7 Things You Can Do for Your Relationship:
Because of the 24-hour news cycle's spectacular character, most news organizations end up covering crises, catastrophes, or other narratives that are highly probable to startle and attract audiences.
You must take a leap of faith in order to uncover your authentic self and be vulnerable. It isn't always easy, and it isn't always reliable, but this will work with you to find out who will and won't be supporting you. This can be as straightforward as offering your perspective to your partner, or it can be as complex as expressing all your emotions for them to see. Because you are committed to exploring a genuine relationship, when you communicate a part of yourself, it circumvents loneliness.
Take some time to reflect on why you're lonely, self-evaluate, and be truthful with yourself. External stimulation is necessary for some people. You may simply find your relationship growing monotonous and resent your partner for not being more interesting or sharing your interest and enthusiasm. If that's the problem, the wisest choice you can make is to start with recognizing that you are experiencing these feelings.
Seek help from others. Turning to therapy could help you be more mindful of the present, less stressed and anxious, and offer you a new perspective on your situation. You could be feeling this way because of some underlying cause you aren't able to recognize.
You're likely not in a relationship with a mind reader. However, we often assume that our partners must know what we really need or what upsets us, even more so when we've been together for a considerable amount of time. We need to stop assuming we’re understood. It can be difficult to ask for what you need, but try to remain calm, considerate, and honest about your vulnerability. It is simpler for your partner to support you once they realize what you require, which helps eliminate your psychological loneliness.
If you're someone that likes to go with the flow and not offer your honest opinion, it's time for you to start speaking up. It is critical to understand that you must ask for what you require. Because conversations are how you obtain respect and understanding, expressing your emotions and opinions will make you feel more trust in your relationship. This does not mean that you have to agree with your partner's point of view all of the time, but you need to state your own perspective instead.
In a healthy relationship, it's just as vital to communicate and be truthful with your partner as it is to pay attention to what they have to say and cooperate to understand their point of view. Speaking up is good, but you should be willing to listen as well. Personal communication skills do not indicate a couple's contentment; rather, a happy pair communicates well with each other. As a result, even if you and your partner strengthen your own ability to communicate, there may still be feelings of loneliness in your relationship.
Try to do something nice for your significant other. It can help alleviate some stress from the relationship and open a gateway to bond and reconnect if you’ve been feeling lonely. Buy them some flowers, cook them their favorite meal, or even make a playlist of songs you want to share with them - it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, but it can provide both of you some comfort.
Now&Me: Let Your Emotions Breathe
While we all experience loneliness from time to time, we can often feel plagued and lost by it. With Now&Me, you have access to a peer support community we've fostered where you can seek comfort, share your experience, and release your emotions. Don’t bottle it up, speak up and seek help instead.
FAQs
1. What Is Walk-Away Spouse Syndrome?
The syndrome is based on the gender norms married people follow, where women are meant to be caretakers, stay at home, and often nag and criticize their husbands when they feel neglected. Whereas husbands are the breadwinners who retreat back and ignore their wives, which makes their nagging worse. This deteriorates the quality of the relationship they share and leads to a spouse walking away.
2. What Are The Signs of a Broken Relationship?
If you start noticing that your communication is sadly missing and you're left feeling upset and frustrated, this is a telltale sign. If you're no longer excited to tell your partner about your daily life (including work, family, and friends), that could be a red flag. Another indication that something is wrong is if you haven't had sex in a long time. If you're trying to avoid spending time with your partner and feel that things aren't working the way they once were, it's a good idea to take a step back and think about what's going on.
3. What If I Feel Lonely in All of My Interpersonal Relationships?
While it may seem like you're the problem in this equation, it could be an underlying cause you're unable to identify. Seeking therapy can be helpful, especially if you're someone with a history of experiencing trauma or abuse. Poor parental attachment, fear of intimacy and vulnerability, perfectionism, and feeling trapped in our own heads are all reasons we may be feeling lonely.
