Everyone longs for true love. I am sure you must too. And, to be honest, that is how we humans are built too.
We, humans, long for love, validation, care and that personal touch. Without it, we are not humans.
True love is what makes us quirky and unusual in our own little way.
However, there are different types of love. How can you know if the one you have is true or not?
Let’s find out what is true love.
How do you identify true love?
A quote by J.S. Park that says, "Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess."
This is the best way to identify true love – it is never perfect but it makes you feel like yourself. It makes you feel at home, safe and sound. To have love, it is important to accept the flaws that come with it.
If you wish to understand if true love is what you have or if you only want to invest your time in true relationships – this is for you.
Let’s take a deep dive into what is true love.
Accepting each other wholeheartedly
When it comes to true love, you accept your partner with all their imperfections and flaws. Acceptance comes when true love is what you can get in someone who wishes to work through their insecurities and fears with you, making them a healthy partner for you.
When it comes to true love, you must not feel judged by your partner. Acceptance and showing a mirror to your partner is how a relationship turns into a commitment.
Working together as a TEAM
When it comes to you and your partner, it isn’t about how you work as an individual but how you work together as a team by putting effort individually. It is literally the smallest details that fuel the relationship with love and care.
There is this hackneyed line — when it comes to fighting in relationships, it is never you vs your partner, but you both vs the problem. True love is what you both tend to make, it is not what you see in movies or TV shows but what you both wish it to be.
I have seen my friends breaking up because they do not work together as a team, they feel their partner “should” do it, when in reality — simple things are often overlooked by partners.
Working together as a team leads to trust building and transparency in relationships. If you feel you have that with your partner, then you probably have found the one!
Respecting each other
The key to a healthy relationship is respecting your partner. There will be times when you both will fight or will want to stay away from each other – instead of being rude about it and making them feel bad about it unnecessarily, you can communicate whatever you feel politely.
Respecting each other doesn’t mean respecting each other when everything is good and happy, it also means respecting each other when things get tough and nasty. This tells if your true love is what makes you genuinely happy or not.
Action speaks louder than words
This is a very famous line that says action speaks louder than words, and it is most definitely true in the case of love. When it comes to showing love and having a partner by your side – as important as it is to tell how much you love them, it is also important you show them so they actually feel that vibe and love from you.
A lot of couples tend to fall apart because they over-promise but under-deliver. So if you are in a relationship, you must show them how much they mean to you – this not makes them happy but keeps the bond tight and secure.
Moreover, this is also an important sign in every relationship and this speaks volumes about what is real love.
To have a transparent relationship with your partner, where you both feel like yourself and can share everything and anything with – that is what true love is all about.
Radical honesty doesn’t mean being honest whenever you feel like it but applying that technique everywhere, especially in conversations that make you uncomfortable. Being in a healthy relationship where you love each other means being truthful about everything, even if those things can lead to fights.
Relationships grow because of uncomfortable and uneasy conversations; apply this in your relationship, and you will see the difference between what is real love and what is fake love.
Feeling comfortable and at ease
Being with your partner will always bring a feeling of comfort. The vibe and emotions you get while being with your partner matter a lot.
There will be times when you will feel bored and monotonous with your partner, but that is quite normal in every relationship. That simply shows how comfortable you both have gotten to reach a point where you both do not feel like being anything but your usual selves with them.
A special relationship is one where you feel like you can spend your entire life with that particular person. If you think that, then you know what is true love!
Respecting each other’s personal space
When it comes to having your personal space and boundary, it is essential to have that in a relationship as well. You wouldn’t always want to invade your partner’s whereabouts and vice versa. This comes with mutual respect for space and love.
You necessarily won’t be on the same page at times, but understanding and compromising on things resolves the problem at hand. You should understand that while you are in a relationship, it is also important to be individually happy and sufficient with yourself. To revive that energy – it is okay to be alone and let your partner be alone.
This is an important indicator of what is real love and people often forget to consider this.
Having open communication
The sign of true love is being able to have open communication with your significant other. It is easy to hold good conversations where things are in a good flow, but what matters is having uncomfortable conversations that show your deepest vulnerabilities and wounds and make you feel like yourself in front of them.
If you feel you have to put up a facade in front of them, then you will keep pushing them away unnecessarily. To see if you are with the right person – have those uncomfortable conversations, sit with them and talk about the past you both shared before each other, what kind of household you both grew up in and what are your fears and insecurities. These things not only make you get to know the other person really well, but you actually feel close to them.
Having a similar set of values and principles
In order to experience the highest form of true love, choose a partner that matches your values and principles. The person you might end up with would have led a different life in childhood, with different religions and backgrounds. However, what matters is having a similar set of values and principles where you both agree on what is right and wrong for you and your relationship.
To know what kind of values and principles your partner shares, it is important to have conversations with your partner where you both are radically honest with each other on how you morally tackle certain kinds of situations.
You can play games with your partner where you both ask each other a certain number of questions and answer them with pure transparency which shows if you can spend the rest of your life with them or not.
Through this game, you will get a clarity of what is true love and what is not.
Having unconditional love for each other with no judgements
When you love someone, you love them with everything and do not pinpoint or judge them for their flaws. You happily accept them for whosoever they are and make sure to appreciate them at every point of your life.
It is important to understand that when you love someone completely, there will be times when you will feel monotonous or will have feelings of hatred for them — at that time, you must remember that these small fights or misunderstandings are a part of what is known to be true love. It is a fact that things will get hard when you are in a relationship as you both come from different backgrounds with different parenting styles and have different love languages and emotional conflicts – it can get hard to be on the same page at all times.
Therefore, to keep your love and spark alive – you must be sure of the person you love, and when you love them, you do it unapologetically.
How to know it is not true love?
There are a few signs that tell if the person you are with truly loves you or not and you can differentiate between what is true love and what is not. To get a better understanding of your relationship and if the person you are with is the one — look out for these signs:
- The person’s actions are very different from their words.
- They will hide you from their personal world and show signs of being ashamed or embarrassed by you.
- They will avoid committing to you and will gaslight you into believing that they will change themselves.
- They would ghost you or ignore your texts or calls.
- They will only call you when they need you.
- They will not understand your side of the story and will make you compromise in the relationship.
- They won’t talk about their long-term goals and what they expect out of the relationship.
The red flags of a relationship depend from person to person. However, if you wish to analyze your relationship and look at things objectively, ask yourself – had it been your best friend in your position, would you have been okay with the partner? Or look at things from a practical point of view instead of being emotional about it, and you will get your answer.
How can Relationship Counselors help with this?
If you don’t understand the dynamics of your relationship or what you seek from a relationship – you can always consult relationship counselors. Now&Me offers counselors on the basis of your needs and helps you understand what you need to fulfill yourself and your life.
Relationship counselors make you see and understand your partner as a human being instead of always looking at them through the lens of a partner. This exercise encourages you to accept your partner and love them with all their flaws and imperfections, unabashedly.
More than this, if you take relationship counseling from Now&Me, it will help you improve communication with your partner, it will help in preserving your physical and emotional intimacy, there will be pure transparency between you and your partner, will also help in solving your conflicts with your partner, and will help in setting realistic expectations.
You should know that relationship counseling doesn’t change your partner, it only makes you see things clearly and only works if you and your partner work on it consciously and together as a TEAM.
How can Now&Me help?
Our platform Now&Me is a safe place that makes you understand what is true love by writing out whatever is going on inside you. It can help you in the following ways —
- It reminds you of things that truly matter by sending positive affirmations every day.
- It helps in structuring thoughts by reminding you of what truly matters in life.
- Engaging with others can make you look at things from a different perspective.
- It helps you practice gratitude, which further pushes you to be grateful for the people that love and cherish you.
- You can be a part of the larger online community and understand your needs and requirements by meeting different people.
- It’s like your personal journal – write your thoughts without any filter and make it your best friend who listens to and understands you as no one else does.
When you wish to understand the meaning of true love and what emotion it should hold in your life, sign up on Now&Me and let your words flow. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community. It is a beautiful and warm family that has got your back. A platform made for you to readily ask for help and to simply write whatever you are feeling and breathe easy.
There are no rules when it comes to true love. Every person has a different way of portraying their love. The few general signs of true love are – caring for each other, being there for each other, being their best friend, understanding each other, and being completely honest with each other.
The real truth about love is that it can often be challenging but in the end, it is the only truth that can set you free.
It is hard to pinpoint the kind of feeling one goes through when they are in love. However, to know if you are in true love — you need to ask yourself some basic questions like you would ask your best friend if they would be in doubt too. For example: if you care about a particular person, if you see a future with them or not, or will you suggest this person to your best friend? Ask yourself these questions objectively, and you will get your answer.
Real love looks effortless and pure, even though it requires full effort and work from you and your partner. It tends to radiate positive vibes and makes you believe in the power of real love.
The signs of true love from a man can vary from the way he shows his love. However, most men tend to shower their love through acts of kindness, by being overly protective, showing their vulnerable side to you, and letting their inner child come out in front of you.
True love can look different from relationship to relationship. But, the most genuine sign of true love is when you and your partner look happy with each other and have the strength to be emotionally naked in front of each other.
There is no one way to work out a relationship. Being intimate and having a physical relationship with your partner is one of the many types of love languages that helps in portraying your emotions clearly to them. It is not a necessity as it depends from relationship to relationship but it definitely boosts up your relationship in unexplainable ways.
Love is the basic essence that is required for a relationship to work and last. Without love, the relationship comes down to a casual or open relationship that is not serious or long-lasting.