Sexless Marriage: 11 Causes & Tips to Deal With It

It is true that to have a good relationship with your partner, you need to feel connected, both physically and emotionally, to them. While intimacy can come in different forms, having sex is one of them. Despite this, some couples may find themselves in sexless marriages.

However, this doesn’t necessarily spell disaster for the relationship. There are ways to improve intimacy and feel close to your partner again. So, in this blog, we are going to discuss what is a sexless marriage, its causes, and ways to address the situation.

What Is a Sexless Marriage?

A sexless marriage is a term used to describe a marital relationship where the couple rarely (less than 10 times a year) or never engages in sexual activity. It means there's a significant lack of sexual intimacy, and this can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and strain in your relationship. This situation might be influenced by factors like health issues, communication problems, or different sexual desires between you and your partner.

Is a Sexless Marriage Normal?

A marriage without sex can be normal for some couples but it may also indicate underlying issues such as health problems or stress. Every relationship is unique, and the frequency of sexual activity can vary significantly from one couple to another. Some couples may find fulfillment and satisfaction in their relationship even if they have minimal sexual activity, while others may consider sexual intimacy an essential part of their connection.

Ultimately, what matters most is that both partners feel fulfilled, respected, and understood within the relationship, regardless of the frequency of sexual activity.

11 Causes of a Sexless Relationship

If you and your partner aren't having sex, it's important to think about the reason behind this. There could be many causes, such as health problems, differences in how much you want sex, life changes, trouble talking about it, issues in your relationship, changes in hormones, mental health problems, or side effects from medication.

Here are 11 possible causes of having less or no sex in marriage:

1. Communication issues: Difficulty communicating about sexual needs, desires, or concerns can lead to a lack of intimacy in marriage.
2. Physical health problems: Medical conditions, chronic pain, hormonal imbalances, or medication side effects can affect libido and sexual function.
3. Psychological factors: Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, or past sexual experiences can impact one's desire for sex and ability to engage in intimate activities.
4. Relationship dynamics: Conflict, unresolved issues, or emotional distance between partners can contribute to a decline in sexual intimacy.
5. Mismatched libidos: Differences in sexual desire or preferences between partners can result in one partner feeling unfulfilled or pressured, leading to a decrease in sexual activity.
6. Life changes: Major life changes such as parenthood, career changes, or aging can shift priorities and energy levels, affecting sexual intimacy.
7. Lack of time and energy: Busy schedules, fatigue, and responsibilities can leave couples feeling too drained or preoccupied to prioritize sexual connection.
8. Unresolved issues: Lingering resentment, unresolved conflicts, or past betrayals can create emotional barriers to intimacy.
9. Cultural or religious beliefs: Cultural or religious beliefs about sex and sexuality can influence attitudes toward sexual expression within a relationship.
10. Mental health issues: Conditions such as anxiety disorders, OCD, or PTSD can interfere with sexual desire and functioning.
11. Medication side effects: Sometimes, the medications you take for various health conditions can have side effects that affect your libido and sexual function.

Talking openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and needs can help you work through these issues together. It can also be helpful to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who understands sexual and relationship problems. Remember, every relationship is different, and it may take time and effort for both of you to find solutions.

How Important Is Sex In a Relationship?

For many couples, sex is an important aspect of their relationship, as it enhances intimacy, connection, and satisfaction. However, its importance varies from one relationship to another. While some couples prioritize sexual activity, others value emotional connection and shared experiences more.

For managing differences in sexual desires and maintaining harmony in the relationship, effective communication and understanding between partners are crucial. Eventually, the key is that both partners feel valued and fulfilled in their relationship, whether through sexual intimacy or other forms of connection.

How to Address Your Sexless Relationship With Your Partner

It is essential to find ways to manage the stress of being in a sexless marriage in order to focus on rebuilding and moving your relationship forward. Many couples face this challenge at different levels, but there are tools and resources to help you deal with it.

Here are some effective ways to address this issue in your marriage:

• Initiate an open and honest conversation
• Express your feelings and concerns calmly
• Listen to your partner's perspective without judgment
• Identify underlying reasons for the lack of intimacy
• Seek professional help or therapy if necessary
• Explore potential solutions together
• Prioritize emotional connection and communication
• Be patient and understanding with each other
• Reassure your partner of your commitment to the relationship
• Work together to rebuild intimacy and connection

Although intimate issues can be difficult to discuss, it is important to address them immediately rather than letting them linger for too long and potentially worsen over time.

5 Tips to Rebuild Your Sex Life

To rebuild your sex life, the first step is to start talking openly about this issue with your partner. If you find it difficult to talk about it alone, seeking guidance from a therapist could be helpful. They can help evaluate the problem and suggest ways to achieve your marriage goals.

Here are 5 effective ways to have a fulfilling sex life:

1. Initiate open conversations about sex: Share your preferences, desires, and fantasies with your partner. Honest communication is essential for a fulfilling sex life.
2. Increase physical affection: Show love and affection outside of the bedroom through small gestures and acts of kindness. Strengthening emotional bonds can enhance physical intimacy.
3. Release performance pressure: Instead of focusing solely on achieving orgasm, prioritize being present and enjoying the moment together.
4. Explore new experiences: Experiment with new techniques, positions, or settings to add excitement and variety to your sex life.
5. Schedule intimate time: Make time for intimacy by prioritizing it in your schedule. Setting aside dedicated time for each other can help maintain a healthy and satisfying sex life.

If you find that nothing is working for you after trying all the tips, consider talking to a relationship counselor for further help and guidance. They can provide insight and strategies to help improve your sexual relationship.

When to Walk Away From a Sexless Marriage

Deciding when to walk away from a sexless marriage is a deeply personal and complex decision that varies for each person and couple. However, some signs that it might be time to consider ending the marriage include:

• Persistent lack of communication and effort to address the issue
• Unhappiness or bitterness that persists despite attempts to resolve the problem
• Feeling emotionally disconnected or unfulfilled in the relationship
• Unwillingness or inability of either partner to seek help or make changes
• Feeling constantly undervalued, unappreciated, or neglected

To manage this situation, seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor can help you deal with the complexities of your relationship and make informed decisions about your future.

How Can Now&Me Help?

If you're struggling with a sexless marriage and feeling isolated, Now&Me can provide valuable support. Our online platform offers an empathetic space where you can openly share your feelings and concerns. You can connect with qualified professionals for free chat sessions, and if you need more in-depth support, it's just Rs 30/- for further conversations.

But that's not all! Now&Me has articles, guides, and forums tailored specifically for people facing challenges in their relationships, including sexless marriages. Our compassionate community is composed of people who are ready to listen, share their own experiences, and offer support during difficult times.

Don't wait any longer to address the issues in your marriage. Download the Now&Me app today and take the first step towards healing and understanding without feeling isolated in your struggles.

Sources

• Sexually inactive marriages, The Journal of Sex Research. 1993. 10.1080/00224499309551698

• When Sex Leaves the Marriage. The New York Times. 2009. https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage/

• Are Sexless Marriages and Relationships Normal? Everyday Health. 2011. https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/are-sexless-marriages-and-relationships-normal.aspx

• When the Cause of a Sexless Relationship Is — Surprise! — the Man. New York Times. 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/10/style/sexless-relationships-men-low-libido.html

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