What is the Difference Between Lust and Love? Lust vs. Love

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Sarvika Aggarwal

26 December 2023

7 Mins

Have you ever had that feeling when you felt crazy for someone? You had that magnetic energy, which made you highly attracted to them and there is an ache in your heart when that person isn’t around you.

But you are confused about whether it is love or lust.

Well, you are in the right place. Read on to find out more about love vs lust.

What is Lust?

When you feel sexual attraction and gratification for the other person, that is when you call it lust. Some sexual experts say that lust is a natural and raw feeling that you get with someone you are sexually active with, and it necessarily doesn’t have to have an attachment or emotional vulnerability in it.

It is purely based on sexual gratification, arousal, and fulfillment. So you will know it is lust when you do not share an emotional relationship with them, do not talk about anything, and are solely in a casual and physical relationship.

Signs of Lust

When you experience lustful feelings for someone, you will feel the following symptoms:

  1. Feeling sexually aroused around them
  2. Fantasy to engage in a sexual act with them
  3. Urge to make physical contact with them
  4. Have frequent sexual thoughts about them
  5. Feeling attracted towards their physical appearance or body

Signs of lust

What is Love?

Love is a wholesome feeling that makes you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically attracted to that one person. You are committed to them and have a deep sense of desire to build a home with them. This feeling is not only restricted to sexual gratification but also to emotional and mental gratification.

There is clear communication, healing, growth, and expansion in these kinds of relationships. It usually starts with infatuation and, with constant effort, builds up to something purely magical.

Signs of Love

When you are falling in love, here are some of the things that you might feel for the other person:

  1. An emotional bond with them
  2. The urge to talk to them all the time
  3. Feeling a sense of security with them
  4. Planning a future together
  5. A sense of commitment and loyalty towards them

Signs of love

Difference Between Love And Lust

People usually confuse the early stage of love with lust, as in the beginning, you have a deep sense of infatuation for the other person. However, there are some signs to tell if you are in love or in lust.

When it comes to lust, whenever you meet the other person, it will automatically lead to sex or getting physically intimate with them. Whereas, when it comes to love, along with getting physically intimate, you also wish to get to know each other, go out on dates, know each other’s likes and dislikes, plan surprises for each other, and take your relationship seriously.

When it comes to lustful relationships, there is no commitment or loyalty present. You share a casual relationship with the other person and do not question or ask them about their other relationships or even their personal lives.

But when we talk about a romantic relationship, there is clear communication, both parties are on the same page, and there are also raw conflicts that make the other person feel more connected to each other.

So if you are confused about whether you are in love or lust, look at your relationship objectively and ask relevant questions, which will help you understand your relationship and the difference between love and lust.

Love and lust are two different things that people tend to confuse their relationships on. Learn everything about love and lust in your relationship with a couples counselor for free.

Is Lust More Powerful Than Love?

Lust and love are two different things; it is hard to compare them with each other. When it comes to lust, it is usually about the sexual intensity and gratification that you feel with the other person. There is no ounce of emotion or vulnerability present there.

Whereas, when we talk about love, it is based on a wholesome experience based on love, physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and sexual gratification as well. So a lot of experts do say that love is the biggest force, but it cannot be generalized for everyone.

Therefore, in a nutshell, it is not about lust vs love, as everyone has a different way of interpreting them both, so they cannot be compared.

is lust more powerful than love

Can Lust Turn into Love?

There is no generalized answer to whether lust can turn into love. However, there is a possibility that lust can turn into love. Experts say lustful relationships do not usually last that long, but if you get a sense of attachment to that person or start becoming infatuated with them, it can very well turn into love in no time.

So there is no such guarantee that you will fall in love if you are in a lustful relationship. But there is a possibility that you might.

can lust turn into love

Is it Possible That Lust Won’t Turn into Love?

It suffices to say that romantic movies are far from what happens in reality. Rom-coms make us believe that if we start a casual relationship, it will definitely end up as a romantic relationship and, finally, marriage.

However, cut to reality, that doesn’t happen, well, not always. Some may experience this miracle but a lot of times, lustful relationships are just lustful relationships. Nothing more, nothing less.

A lot of people come into these kinds of relationships because they have been hurt before or because they are too protective of themselves to fall in love. So it is definitely possible that lust won’t turn into love.

is it possible that lust won’t turn into love

How Can You Tell if They’re in Love or Lust With You?

A lot of times, whether you are in love or in lust, it can confuse you or make it difficult for you to understand what that person thinks of you. So to help you understand and differentiate between those two feelings, here are some ways to determine what they are feeling:

1. Objectively view their feelings

When you wish to distinguish their feelings into love and lust, rather than looking at them from an emotional perspective, try to view them from a surface and objective point of view. By doing this, you will be able to look at them as any other human, which will give you clarity on their feelings and allow you to see if they are in lust or love.

2. See how they act around you

If you wish to understand their feelings for you, it is best to judge them by the way they behave in front of you. So when they get excited, happy, and elated to see you, it automatically brings their inner child in front of you; it is love. However, when they act all casual and neutral and only meet you for sexual gratification and do not wish to spend the rest of their life with you, it is lust.

3. Future plans

If your partner talks about the future and wishes to grow old with you, then it is love. However, if the future is something that they don’t even think about and feel against and just wish to enjoy the present moment, then it is lust.

4. Commitments

If you and your partner are on the same page about commitment, which means that they want to build a future together and start a family with you, then it is love. However, if you and your partner do not even talk about this and do not really care about having a future together, then it is lust.

5. Relationship dynamic

It is important to see the kind of relationship dynamic you share with the other person. If both of you mutually decide to be in a casual relationship, then it is clear that it is lust. However, if they are someone who gets attached and is more of a one-man woman or one-woman man, it is better to not give them any hope and communicate about your needs properly.

How can you tell if they’re in love or lust with you

How Can Now&Me Help You With Relationship Therapy?

Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that makes you feel light by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It helps you engage with like-minded people and makes you look at things from a solution-oriented perspective. Become a part of a welcoming community and understand if you are in love or lust with relationship counseling.

When you are not able to differentiate your feelings, sign up on the Now&Me app and seek online counseling with renowned experts. Become a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community. A platform made for you to readily ask for help and let our therapists help you understand your feelings properly.

Download the Now&Me app for free and get a good understanding of your relationships from a panel of qualified experts and a loving community.

Understand the difference between love and lust and navigate your relationship accordingly with a couples counselor for free.

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