We've all been in situations where thoughts of a particular someone just won't leave our minds, right? Whether it's a crush that never turned into a relationship or someone who has hurt us, it can feel like they're on our minds 24/7. However, you have the power to break free from those thoughts and take control of your own happiness.
The secret? It starts with focusing on yourself.
One common reason for constantly thinking about someone is going through a breakup. But no matter if it's a breakup, an unrequited crush, or someone else, there are steps you can take to shift your focus back to you and start moving on.
So, let’s understand what these steps are and how to stop thinking about someone obsessively.
21 Tips for how to stop thinking about someone:
1. Avoid making contact
How to stop thinking about someone? When it comes to healing after a breakup, one of the most important things to remember is to give yourself some space and distance from the other person. It's natural to want to remain friends or stay in touch, but in reality, maintaining contact can often prolong the healing process and bring more heartache.
Think about it this way: during this time, your main priority should be taking care of yourself and focusing on your own well-being. By constantly staying in contact with the other person, you might find yourself more concerned about what they think or how they're doing than what you truly need for your own healing journey.
Creating some distance allows you to shift your focus back to yourself and your own needs. It allows you to explore your own emotions, thoughts, and desires without being influenced by another person's presence. It's a time to rediscover who you are as an individual and give yourself the attention and care that you deserve.
2. Do not check their social media
Dealing with the aftermath of a breakup can be tough, and one of the challenges we often face is resisting the urge to check our ex's social media profiles. It's like a magnetic pull that keeps us hooked and stirs up all those lingering emotions.
However, constantly scrolling through their social media pages can do more harm than good, especially for your mental well-being . Seeing their seemingly happy posts or witnessing them move on can reopen wounds and make you feel hurt all over again. And let's not even talk about the possibility of stumbling upon something unflattering they may have posted about you. It's a recipe for unnecessary pain and a setback in your healing process.
So, my advice to you is simple but powerful: stop looking at their social media. Take control of your own peace of mind by removing the temptation. It's time to hit that "unfriend" or "unfollow" button and free yourself from the constant reminders of their life without you.
3. Reach out to your support system
How to stop thinking about someone? When you're going through a tough time after a breakup, it's important to remember that you don't have to face it alone. Your support system, consisting of your family and friends , is there for a reason – to help and support you during challenging moments like these. So don't hesitate to turn to them and ask for their support.
Your loved ones genuinely care about your well-being, and they want to make sure you're okay. Opening up to them and sharing your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. It allows you to express yourself, release pent-up emotions, and gain a fresh perspective on the situation.
Besides lending a listening ear, your family and friends may also offer valuable advice on how to navigate through this difficult period. They might share their own experiences or provide insights that can help you move forward and get over the relationship.
Sometimes, a fresh perspective or a different point of view can make a significant difference in how you approach your healing journey.
4. Focus on self-acceptance
Take a moment to reflect on yourself, your qualities, and your achievements. You are a unique individual with so much to offer. Embrace your strengths, your talents, and even your imperfections. Nobody is perfect, and that's what makes us beautifully human.
By focusing on self-acceptance, you're nurturing a positive relationship with yourself. You're acknowledging that your worth doesn't depend on someone else's presence or opinion. It's about learning to love and appreciate yourself unconditionally. This journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance can contribute to building your self-esteem .
As you recognize your own worth and value, you'll develop a stronger sense of confidence and belief in yourself. It's about realizing that you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness, regardless of whether that special someone is in your life or not.
5. Love yourself
To kick start this journey of self-love, let's begin by showering ourselves with affirmations . These are positive statements that remind you of your worth, beauty, and unique qualities. Take a moment each day to look in the mirror and say kind words to yourself. It might feel a bit silly at first, but trust me, it works wonders for boosting your self-esteem and nurturing self-love.
Loving yourself involves listening to your needs and honoring them. It means setting healthy boundaries and saying no when necessary. Moreover, you can nourish your body with nutritious food, engage in regular exercise, and get enough rest. Your mental health is equally vital; therefore, practice mindfulness, self-reflection, and positive self-talk.
Self-love isn't only about words; it also indicates actions. Showing yourself some much-needed love is all about practicing self-care, where you prioritize your well-being — physically and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as taking a bubble bath, going for a walk in nature, doing your favorite hobby, or simply treating yourself to something special.
6. Allow yourself to the pain you feel
How to stop thinking about someone obsessively? Sometimes, when we're going through a tough time and feeling hurt, our natural instinct is to avoid or suppress those painful emotions. We try to find ways to distract ourselves or pretend like everything is okay. But you know what? It's important to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel the pain you're experiencing.
By allowing yourself to feel the pain, you're giving yourself the opportunity to process it in a healthy way. It's like giving yourself a moment to catch your breath before taking the next step. It may not be comfortable, and it might even bring tears to your eyes, but it's all part of the healing process.
As you sit with your pain, try to understand what it's trying to teach you. Is there a lesson hidden within it? Are there patterns or behaviors that need to be addressed? Use this time of reflection to gain insights and grow from your experiences.
7. Embrace yourself
You are amazing just the way you are. Embrace your unique qualities and quirks because they make you who you are. You don't need to change yourself to fit someone else's expectations or desires. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and be proud of who you are.
It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to please others or trying to mold ourselves into what we think someone else wants. But let me tell you, that's not the path to happiness. You deserve love and acceptance for who you truly are without having to pretend or put on a show.
For instance, I used to be self-conscious about my love for art and creativity. I thought it wasn't practical and valuable enough. But when I started embracing my artistic side and pursuing it wholeheartedly, I discovered a deep sense of fulfillment and joy.
8. Practice Mindfulness
How to stop thinking about someone obsessively? Mindfulness is all about being fully present in the here and now, focusing on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. And you know what? Practicing mindfulness can be super helpful when you find yourself constantly thinking about someone or something that's been bothering you.
So, how can you bring more mindfulness into your life? There are simple yet powerful ways to do it. Start by taking a deep breath and grounding yourself in the present moment. Notice the sensations in your body, the sounds around you, and the thoughts passing through your mind.
Whenever your mind starts to wander back to that person or situation, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. You can try engaging your senses, like taking a moment to really savor the taste of your favorite food or appreciating the beauty of nature around you.
9. Accept you don’t need them anymore
What was it about that person that made you feel like you needed them? Maybe they provided emotional support, companionship, or a sense of validation. Once you've identified the need they fulfilled, it's time to ask yourself a powerful question: How can you fulfill that need yourself?
You have the ability to provide yourself with the love, validation, and support that you deserve. It's about recognizing your own worth and realizing that you are complete and whole on your own. By acknowledging and meeting your own needs, you become less dependent on others for your happiness and fulfillment.
But how can you fill that need within yourself? It could involve practicing self-care and self-love, engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and loved ones, or seeking professional help if needed. It's about embracing your own strengths, nurturing your passions, and developing a deep sense of self-acceptance.
10. Focus on your hobbies
How to not think about someone? Think about the things you love to do, whether it's reading a book that transports you to another world, riding the waves on a surfboard, embarking on a long and beautiful hike, or simply sitting in a bustling mall and observing people going about their day. These activities are like little sparks of happiness that can bring so much joy to your life.
When you engage in activities that make you happy, you create a sense of fulfillment and rejuvenation. It's a chance to escape from the thoughts that may be occupying your mind and immerse yourself in something that brings you pure joy. Your hobbies provide a much-needed break from the daily grind and allow you to recharge and reconnect with yourself.
11. Discover your areas of personal growth
Ask yourself: What are the areas where you want to see growth ? Are there any specific skills or qualities you want to develop? Perhaps you want to become more organized, enhance your communication abilities, or cultivate a positive mindset. Whatever it may be, this is your chance to invest in yourself and make progress in the areas that matter to you.
Now, how to get your mind off someone?
When you've identified the areas you want to grow in, it's time to take action. Start by setting small, achievable goals that align with your desired personal growth. Break them down into manageable steps and create a plan to actively work on them. Remember, personal growth is a continuous journey, so be patient and kind to yourself along the way.
12. Shape your career goals
Take a moment to visualize your ideal future. What does it look like? What steps do you need to take to get there? Identify the areas where you want to grow and the milestones you wish to achieve. Perhaps it's enrolling in a course, attending workshops, or gaining experience in a specific field. Whatever it may be, this is your chance to turn your aspirations into actionable plans.
Overthinking about goals never leads to the fruition of your dreams, and sometimes it's about surrendering to the uncertainty and just doing it. Therefore, don't wait any longer. Take that leap of faith and start making progress towards your career goals. It may seem daunting at first, but every journey begins with a single step. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable tasks and start tackling them one by one.
13. Explore activities beyond yourself
It's time to shift the focus from within and make a positive impact on the world around you. Are you ready to embrace the joy of helping others?
To invest in something outside of yourself, volunteer your time and skills. Consider finding a cause or organization that resonates with you. It could be an orphanage, an animal shelter, an NGO, or any other volunteer opportunity that sparks your interest.
How to not think about someone can be tough. However, by dedicating your time and energy to helping others, you not only make a difference in their lives but also find fulfillment and purpose in your own.
14. Accept that you're going through a tough phase
Do you want an answer of how to get your mind off someone? Accepting those thoughts is actually a step toward moving forward. Acknowledge that those thoughts may pop up from time to time, and that's alright. It's a normal part of the healing process. Instead of trying to forcefully push those thoughts away, simply recognize them and gently shift your focus to something else.
Think of it as a little mental exercise. When thoughts of that person arise, take a moment to acknowledge them. Then, consciously choose to redirect your attention to something more positive or engaging. It could be a hobby, a favorite book, or even spending time with loved ones. By shifting your focus, you're giving your mind a chance to break free from those persistent thoughts.
15. Ask yourself, what does this person truly mean to you?
How to not think about someone? When it comes to thoughts of that person who's been on your mind, it can be helpful to take a step back and ask yourself a few questions. One question that can bring some clarity is: What does this person truly mean to me?
Ask yourself honestly: Did they truly deliver on those meanings you associated with them? It's common for us to idealize the past or romanticize our interactions. But if you take a closer look, you might find that the reality was a mix of yes and no.
Understanding this can be a powerful realization. It helps you separate the person from the ideals you may have projected onto them. It brings a sense of clarity and allows you to see the situation more objectively.
16. Journal out your frustrations
Are you wondering how to get your mind off someone? A journal is not just for writing stories or getting creative—it's also a powerful tool for reflection and learning from what you're going through.
Grab a notebook and start jotting down your thoughts and feelings. You can use the questions we discussed earlier or any other prompts that resonate with you. Reflect on what this person means to you, the experiences you've had with them, or anything else that strikes a chord.
When you write, pay attention to your emotions. They can provide valuable insights about the world around you. However, it's also ideal to remember that thoughts can be unreliable sometimes, so it's necessary to keep control over them by letting them be.
17. Reflect on why things didn't work out
How to not think about someone? We all have those moments where we start romanticizing the past and longing for what we no longer have. However, we often idealize the person and forget that the relationship didn't always fulfill our expectations.
Reflect on the reasons why it didn't work out. Maybe there were compatibility issues, unmet needs, or even red flags that you may have overlooked. By reminding yourself of these aspects, you can gain a more balanced perspective on the relationship.
Remember, the meanings and desires you attached to the relationship weren't always fully satisfied. It's easy to focus on the positive memories and forget about the challenges or disappointments you may have faced. By acknowledging these realities, you can prevent yourself from getting caught up in an idealized version of the past.
18. Forgive them
How to get your mind off someone? It's important to forgive someone who has hurt you, not for their sake but for your own well-being. Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. The truth is, they may have moved on while you're still carrying the burden of negative emotions.
By forgiving them, you're freeing yourself from the heavy weight of grudges and allowing yourself to heal. It's not about letting them off the hook or condoning their actions; it's about releasing yourself from the pain they caused. As Buddha wisely said, holding onto anger only harms you, not them.
19. Erase all memories of them
Are you worried about your thoughts — I can't stop thinking about him? It’s because you are still absorbed in the memories of the past.
Are you still keeping dried-up flowers, notes, or personal items they gave you? It's understandable that these things may hold sentimental value, but keeping them around only prolongs the attachment and prevents you from moving on.
They don't think of you, so why should you continue thinking of them? It's time to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Holding onto these items only keeps you stuck in the past, dwelling on memories that may no longer serve you.
By removing these physical reminders, you're creating space for new experiences and allowing yourself to let go emotionally.
20. Give it time
You know what? Waiting can be quite a challenge. It's like time has a way of slowing down when we're eagerly anticipating something or trying to move on from someone we can't stop thinking about. It feels like forever, doesn't it?
However, time has its way of healing wounds and easing the intensity of our thoughts. Trust me, there will come a day when you'll realize that the pain isn't as sharp, and that those thoughts don't consume your mind like they used to.
You might find it hard to believe right now, but it's true. Time has this sneaky ability to gradually fade away the memories and emotions that feel so overpowering at the moment. It's like they become distant echoes instead of constant echoes.
21. Don’t talk about that person with your friends
How to get your mind off someone? Dwelling on them and constantly discussing them with your friends won't really help you move forward. Your friends might lend a listening ear and be patient with your endless stories, but it's important to recognize when it's time to give it a rest.
Instead, it's time to shift the focus back to yourself and your own growth. Engage in conversations with your friends that uplift and inspire you. Share your dreams, passions, and aspirations. Allow yourself to explore new topics and create new memories together.
How can Now&Me help?
What’s next if I can't stop thinking about him? If the tips and techniques mentioned earlier haven't been effective in helping you break free from constantly thinking about that person, seeking professional support is a wise next step.
Even if you're struggling with forgiving that person, a therapist can assist you in working through those emotions and finding a path towards healing.
At Now&Me , you can find a therapist according to your needs at 1/4th of the cost of traditional therapy. You can either get on a video consultation call or simply chat online for free. Not only this, but here you can also join a genuine community of mindful people to share your thoughts and overcome your loneliness.
How to do that? Just download the Now&Me app and start your self-care and healing journey now!
To stop thinking about them, try redirecting your focus towards activities you enjoy, surrounding yourself with supportive friends, and giving yourself time to heal and move on.
If thoughts about girls are consuming your mind, try engaging in hobbies or interests that keep you occupied. Distracting yourself with other activities, focusing on self-improvement, and connecting with friends can help redirect your thoughts.
It may help to limit contact, remove reminders of him, and actively challenge negative thoughts. Engaging in self-care, pursuing personal goals, and seeking support from friends can also aid in shifting your focus.
It can be challenging to let go of negative feelings toward someone. Practice forgiveness and acceptance, engage in stress-reducing activities, and consider seeking therapy or counseling to help process and overcome these emotions.
When someone you're interested in isn't reciprocating, it's important to focus on self-care and redirect your attention. Engage in activities that bring you joy, spend time with friends and family, and remind yourself of your worth and the possibilities that lie ahead.
Sometimes, it's difficult to stop thinking about someone due to deep emotional connections or unresolved feelings. Consider seeking support from friends, engaging in self-reflection, and practicing mindfulness techniques to help you gain control over your thoughts.
When you have strong feelings for someone but need to move on, it's essential to focus on self-care, giving yourself time to heal. Engage in activities that bring you joy, seek support from friends and family, and consider seeking professional guidance to navigate through the process.
Accepting that you can't have someone you desire can be challenging. Allow yourself time to grieve, distance yourself from triggers, and redirect your attention towards personal growth and new experiences.
If you find yourself frequently fantasizing about someone, try redirecting your thoughts to other areas of your life. Engage in hobbies, practice mindfulness, and challenge any idealized notions you may have about the person.
Healing from emotional pain takes time and self-compassion. Surround yourself with a supportive network, practice forgiveness, focus on personal growth, and consider seeking therapy to process your emotions.
Continuously thinking about someone can indicate a strong emotional attachment or unresolved issues. It may be beneficial to explore these thoughts with a mental health professional who can provide insights and help you navigate your emotions.
Now&Me's relationship experts offer a safe space to discuss your thoughts and emotions. They can provide guidance, support, and strategies to help you cope with obsessive thoughts, heal from emotional attachments, and move forward in a healthier way.