Feeling upset, overwhelmed, betrayed, and insecure after being cheated on is okay. When you put too much into a relationship and get cheated, you feel sad and anxious, which leads to chronic overthinking and can impact your future relationships.
Luckily, there are different ways to deal with this and feel better and healthier again. Let’s see how we can do that.
Why am I Overthinking Things After Being Cheated on?
Being cheated on can really shake you up from the inside and make you doubt yourself as a person. When you put your trust and faith in someone and they end up cheating on you, you may develop trust issues, self-esteem issues, or get scared to come into a relationship altogether. You may want to control your future partner, spy on them, or know about their whereabouts often because of this.
These emotions can give rise to:
- Low self-esteem
- Trouble in forming authentic relationships
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
Consequences of Infidelity
When we talk about infidelity, it does not really lead to just overthinking or chronic anxiety but can actually give birth to serious mental health issues if not treated at the right time. So here are some consequences of infidelity:
1. Trust issues
When you are a victim of infidelity, you are afraid that if you get into another relationship or trust someone again, they will do the same to you. Because of this, you refrain from forming relationships and build a wall around you.
2. Relationship PTSD
When you are a victim of infidelity, you develop a fear that you will be treated similarly in future relationships. Because of this fear, you put up walls around you and refrain from coming into a relationship ever again. And even if a good person tries to make a move on you, you reject them before they can reject you.
When you are a victim of infidelity, you tend to develop certain insecurities that can harm your relationship with yourself and future relationships. It can be anything from thinking of yourself as not worthy to not giving your best in relationships because you think you are not meant to be in one.
4. Mental health issues
Experiencing betrayal from a partner can result in serious mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It is important to talk about it and get yourself professional help, or else it can lead to something serious, further turning into health complications.
5. Catastrophizing thoughts
Overthinking about this situation can lead to catastrophizing thoughts, which can cause severe physical and mental burdens, thus pushing you to believe these thoughts and feed onto your insecurities.
15 Ways to Avoid Overthinking After Being Cheated On
It can be difficult to not overthink things after being cheated on. It can lead to spiraling thoughts, catastrophizing situations, and severe anxiety or depression. So to avoid this, there are certain things that you can do from your end. Let’s see how to stop overthinking after being cheated on.
1. Surround yourself with positive people
When you are constantly overthinking about how you got cheated on, it is best to surround yourself with people who help you not fall into the endless cycle of overthinking and help you get back on track through constant support, love, and care.
2. Get to the bottom of your overthinking
Understand the root cause of your overthinking; it may be stemming from various reasons that can be related to your childhood history, infidelity, or low self-esteem. It is better to talk about it with someone close to you or a professional expert so you can eliminate the cause from the root itself.
3. Practice meditation
It is easy to lose control and wander off with your overthinking thoughts. When you see this happening, try to practice meditation by letting your mind flow freely and taking back control the moment you see it wandering off. This will let you stay in the present moment and not lose yourself in unnecessary thoughts.
4. Accept that you are hurt
It might take a bit of a strength but accepting that you are hurt and that it makes you feel miserable to go through this alone is okay. Getting cheated and betrayed is a heartbreaking thing so give yourself time to accept it and make peace with it.
5. Give yourself space to feel and heal
When you are going through heartbreak because of infidelity, it is important to give yourself the space to feel that hurt and sit in it rather than run away from it, as that won’t help you heal or grow.
6. Positive self-talk
Showering yourself with positive affirmations, even though you might not believe them, can be a good therapeutic practice, as your subconscious mind is always aware of the things you say to yourself. So saying good things about yourself is a good way to motivate yourself.
7. Understand that it is about projection
When someone cheats on you, understand that it says nothing about you as a person. It is about their insecurities, inner conflicts, and problems that are being projected onto you, which led them to take this step and betray you. Try not to blame yourself for someone else’s mistake.
When you are not able to understand your emotions and feelings, it is best to write them down so you can objectively view them and get to the root of them.
9. Let go of the “what if” talk
It is easy to get tangled with the “what is” talk but consciously try to let yourself flow with it and not bother yourself with negative talk because it is usually our anxiety talking us down or telling us to view things in a more catastrophic manner.
10. Distract yourself
When you feel your mind is overthinking things to an extreme level, it is best to distract yourself by going out, listening to music, doing something out of the ordinary, or investing in your health.
11. Spend time with your hobbies
The best way to spend time without letting your overthinking take control of you is to do things you love to do, which can be anything from cooking to reading books or going on a long drive.
12. Meet new people
Meeting new people when you are down the dumps can help you see the positivity of the world and what it has to offer you. It can get you distracted and help you form new friendships and relationships, which support you in times of distress.
13. Join a support group
In times like these, you can try seeking out a support group that shares common problems with you and helps you navigate through this journey in a healthy and peaceful manner.
14. Know that you deserve the best
The realization that it is best that the person who cheated on you leave will come when you start looking at things logically and objectively. Take it as a blessing in disguise that a person who wasn’t loyal to you was taken out of your life because your worth is so much more and you deserve the absolute best in life.
15. Seek professional help
When you think nothing is working out for you and you are still stuck in an endless cycle of ruminating, it is best to seek out a relationship counselor who will help you understand the other person’s point of view while keeping your worth and value intact. You can consult an expert from Now&Me and get instant guidance at a cost as low as Rs. 30.
How Can Online Therapy with Now&Me Help?
Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that helps you feel lighter by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It helps you engage with others and makes you look at your situation from a logical and solution-oriented perspective instantly, at a cost as low as Rs. 30. Become a part of the larger community and learn how to stop overthinking after being cheated on through online counseling with Now&Me.
When you do not understand how to navigate through your overthinking, sign up on Now&Me and seek professional guidance from our experts. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community where our experts help you understand whatever is troubling you.
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When you experience infidelity, it is common to have to overthink and catastrophize about the person and the situation. It can physically hurt you to know that someone you thought you would spend the rest of your life with has cheated on you with someone else. It can lead to feelings like insecurity, jealousy, possessiveness, and even trust issues. It can get hard to navigate through these emotions because it also leads to anxiety and depression in severe cases. While going through these feelings and feeling them completely is important, it is also important to look after yourself and seek professional help if required. Because if you keep letting yourself fall into the endless loop of overthinking, it can severely damage your mental and physical health.
There can be different reasons why people cheat on someone they love. But mostly, it can be a sign of childhood trauma, not feeling loved or appreciated enough, expectations not on the same page, or simply wanting to explore without being vocal.
The pain and anxiety of being cheated on slowly fade with time, but it does take a lot of healing and trusting yourself in the process. Being cheated on can make you question yourself and navigating through that and making peace with something that hurts you immensely is something that will take time, but it does go away, and once you do that, it will make you feel free.
If you decide to stay together with someone who cheated on you, it is important to know that it will take time to start over and trust them again. What is important is that you communicate whatever you feel without any filter with them and let them know if you are insecure or are scared that they will engage in such an act again. To rebuild this relationship, it is important that you both be honest with each other and put in the effort to start fresh.
The woman can feel hurt, insecure, anxious, worthless, or even have trust issues after being cheated on.
To deal with triggers, you have to look at the situation objectively rather than emotionally so you are able to get yourself out of it and not lose yourself in the blurriness of it.
To stop overthinking after being cheated on, it is important to sit with yourself and examine the root cause of your thoughts. It is also important to lean on your social support if you feel you are feeling too heavy to deal with it alone.
It will take time to find peace after being cheated on; instantly rushing to feel better won’t make the pain go away. So giving yourself time to cry and feel your emotions will help you let go of the hurt gradually.
If he is honest with you, owns up to his mistake, and makes more effort towards you and the relationship, it shows that he still loves you.