Have you had a relationship in which you wished to rebuild trust after a betrayal? Many of us go through this experience and feel a lot of anxiety while trying to mend things with the person we love.
But is it possible to regain trust in a relationship? Yes, it is but, it requires effort from both sides so let’s see how you can rebuild trust in a relationship after any betrayal.
How Does Trust Get Broken in a Relationship?
If you are trying to understand what went wrong in your relationship and how your trust got broken, here are some reasons that it might’ve happened:
- Unavailable partner
- Not following up on a promise
- Breaching of faith or trust
- Lying to you
- Triggering you unnecessarily
- Lack of physical or emotional intimacy
- Being embarrassed of you
- Addictive behaviour
There can be subjective reasons; however, most relationships lose trust because of these reasons.
Signs of Lack of Trust in a Relationship
There are signs to determine if there is a lack of trust in relationships–
- Constantly checking up on you
- Trying to control you
- Asking about your whereabouts in a doubtful way
- Refusing to communicate openly
- Always suspicious about your motives
- Giving you the silent treatment
- Gaslighting you
There can be more signs of a lack of trust in a relationship. However, it mostly shows up this way and can create a bridge in the relationship.
15 Ways to Rebuild Trust In a Relationship
If you have fallen out of a relationship but wish to rekindle the trust and love you had for each other, it is possible. However, it will take time and patience to build a healthy and happy relationship once again. Let’s see how to rebuild trust in a relationship.
1. Communicate openly
When you have seen how not putting in an effort in a relationship can deeply affect you, it is a lesson on your end to communicate properly and openly with your partner, even if it is about things that might hurt them or make them angry at you. It is important to understand that your partner won’t always love you or be happy with you; there will be times when you or they will get angry, so it is always better to be open and honest with your partner.
2. Radical honesty
Honesty is the best policy, whether it is in life or in relationships. The truth always comes out, one way or another. So it is always important that you are completely honest with the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with; otherwise, hiding things or lying will only make things worse.
3. Take responsibility for your actions
As a human, it is completely normal to make mistakes, so when you do something wrong, instead of running away, own it up and take responsibility for your actions. If you keep on defending yourself, your partner might just get fed up with you. However, if you own it up, you both can find ways to navigate through this difficulty in a healthy manner.
4. Admit your mistakes
Making mistakes in life or in relationships is normal. So when you know you did something that might hurt your partner or make them angry, admit your mistakes and make sure to be smart about them in the future. Blaming things on your partner won’t help you or them in any way.
5. Make a commitment
When you sign up to be in a serious relationship, it is important that you maintain your commitment to the relationship. There will be times when you might get attracted to other people or find their certain traits to be really admirable; however, know that it is normal; it doesn’t mean you love them or wish to be with them. When you are committed to someone, you make a promise to love them every day.
6. Redefine your relationship dynamics
When you rekindle your relationship, it is important that you and your partner are on the same page. So when trying to redefine your relationship, the dynamic you wish to share, and your expectations, it is important to list them all out so there is transparency and you both know how to work through the relationship properly.
7. Tell them the whole story
Whatever it is that made you both break up, be it cheating, unnecessary thoughts, or doubt, it is important you keep the whole story in front of your partner so you both understand the whole situation and are able to navigate through it properly.
8. Don’t gossip about your partner
Sharing the struggles going on with your partner with your friends is absolutely okay. However, bitching about them, gossiping about them, and trash-talking is something that shows that you do not respect your partner. When you love and respect your partner; you do it in front of your friends and family, despite the fact that they make mistakes or sometimes hurt you.
9. Make amends
When you know things were rough when you ended the relationship, make sure to shower them with all the love when you rekindle it. Making amends in your relationship is important so that the other person also knows that you are serious and are actually thinking about changing yourself and your attitude.
10. Create an environment of complete transparency
When you have understood that communication is the key to any relationship, try to be as transparent as you can be in the relationship. If you feel there is something you wish to share with your partner, do it without any second thought. In the beginning, it might be a bit difficult but you both can always come to an understanding as to what needs to be shared and what doesn’t need any discussion.
11. Take your time to forgive
If you have decided to rekindle the relationship but are finding it difficult to forgive the other person for what they did, give yourself time to make peace with it. You don’t have to jump on fixing things when you are not feeling right. Take time to understand things and make a decision accordingly.
12. Take baby steps
When you have decided to fix your relationship, do not align things in one go; take baby steps and remember that both of you are in this relationship so the efforts of both parties matter. Do not pressure yourself into making things like before, because they won’t be. It will be new and for that, you need to come up with new ideas.
13. Start anew
Once you have decided to start fresh, do not bring the things of the past into the relationship. Forgive and forget and start a new journey with your partner. However, if there is something that is making you uncomfortable or making you doubt the whole thing, talk it out with your partner.
14. Make time for each other
When you have understood how relationships work, take out at least 1 hour every day and spend time with each other. In that time, you can get to know each other, learn about each other’s hobbies and interests, and do things you both love together.
15. Seek professional help
If you both wish to get back to solving things together but are not able to do so, try to take couples therapy and navigate your way around it with the help of a psychologist. They will help you understand each other through an objective lens and rekindle your relationship from a fresh perspective.
How Can Relationship Counseling Help Rebuild Trust After Betrayal?
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The Bottom Line
When we talk about rebuilding trust in a relationship, it takes a lot of effort and patience from both ends. It isn’t easy to forgive the old mistakes a person made; however, if the other person is genuinely willing to change and is ready to put in the required effort, then it can work out. In the end, if both parties are on the same page and want the same outcome, anything can be worked out, navigated through, and done with—any difficulty or struggle seems small after that.