How Important Is Sex In A Relationship?

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Sarvika Aggarwal

25 February 2024

6 Mins

Sex is just a simple way of showing physical love to your partner, but is it really important in a relationship? On some level, yes, but on some level, not really.

Although this varies from couple to couple, having sexual intercourse is not the most significant part of the relationship, but it sure does add an element of fun to your life.

However, if you and your partner are not so keen on doing that and are okay with being in a sexless relationship, that is also fine. But let’s have a look at how important is sex in a relationship to get a better understanding of this.

How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?

While sexual intercourse is something that adds that element of fun to couples, is it really that necessary? Of course not. However, it depends on you and your partner. Some couples tend to find sex absolutely important, while others thrive on emotional connectivity and do not care much about this part.

But why is sex important in a relationship? Because it helps you in the following ways:

  1. Helps you show affection to your partner
  2. Brings you closer to your partner
  3. Relieves stress
  4. Releases endorphins, which makes you happy and relaxed
  5. Helps you find joy in simple pleasures of life
  6. Feeling confident and sexy with your partner

These are some of the main reasons why couples indulge in sex; however, this doesn’t mean that doing it is absolutely necessary. You can find other activities to do with your partner that help you find the joys and pleasures of life.

How Do I Talk to My Partner About Our Sexual Frequency?

When it comes to the sexual frequency a couple shares between them, it is very subjective. While people in their 20s have a high sexual frequency, as and when they grow up, it tends to decrease over time. But how would you talk to your partner about your sexual frequency? This is a topic not much talked about and plays an equally vital role in your relationship as other aspects of your life.

So in order to talk to your partner about this, try the following things:

  1. Communicate with your partner about this openly and without any filter. Be as honest as possible so that they can understand your thought process and you both can have a healthy conversation.
  2. Do not blame them or put things on them like “you do not even show me love.” This will only spark more fights and disruptions in the relationship.
  3. Seek professional help by going to couples counseling, where you both are able to talk about your feelings out loud and the therapist can help you get on the same page.
  4. Introspect and see where this is coming from—is it your relationship, some past conflicts, or something else altogether? Doing this will help you understand which route to take and, accordingly, chart a plan for yourself.
  5. Have a healthy conversation with your partner using “I statements” and keep your expectations and needs out in the open so you both can have an open and honest discussion.

Does Sexual Satisfaction Lead to Relationship Satisfaction?

While this highly depends from couple to couple, it has been seen that people with sexual satisfaction tend to have overall relationship satisfaction. Sexual intercourse is not just engaging in sex for the sake of doing it but more about doing it because you love your partner and wish to know about their desires and body the same way you want to know about their inner being. It is about loving each other and showering each other with affection and compassion. So yes, indeed, sexual satisfaction does lead to relationship satisfaction as well.

Benefits of Sex In a Relationship

There are both physical and psychological benefits to sex that make the act of engaging in physical love highly pleasurable and fun. So let’s have a look at the benefits of why making love is important in a relationship:

  1. Reduces stress and releases happy hormones
  2. You tend to have a better self image
  3. Higher rate of happiness
  4. Better quality of sleep
  5. Enhances brain function and cognitive skills
  6. Helps with weight loss
  7. Positive cardiac effects
  8. Improves immune functioning
  9. Good health overall

These are some of the benefits of sex in a relationship, which helps in improving the overall quality of life and keeps you happily fulfilled with yourself and your relationship.

Causes of a Changing Sex Drive

There are some factors that can bring about a change in your sexual drive. Let’s look at the possible causes:

  1. Life transitions like new job or grief
  2. Hormone changes
  3. Infertility
  4. Medication side effects
  5. Mental health conditions
  6. Early menopause
  7. Relationship issues like cheating or trust issues

While there can be more causes to this, these are some of the major causes of a changing sex drive that can make your relationship a bit dry if you do not have proper communication or aren’t honest with each other.

Other Ways to Build Intimacy Outside of Sex

If you wish to build intimacy outside of sex, you can try the following things:

  1. Holding hands
  2. Cuddling
  3. Frequent hugs and kisses
  4. Date nights
  5. Doing other things that bring you pleasure, like cooking together
  6. Meaningful conversations
  7. Prolonged eye contact

While there are other things you can find to do outside of sex, you can start by trying these. There is no one size fits all when it comes to finding what things can spark joy in a relationship, so it is important to do things together and find what makes you and your partner happy.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you think not having sex in your relationship is hindering your relationship and that the topic is getting difficult to discuss with your partner, it is best to seek couples counseling. You will understand how to talk openly about this with your partner and you will also be able to find an effective solution for it.

Seeking professional help doesn’t mean that you have to part ways with your partner; it simply means that you can understand how to navigate the situation in the best possible manner, where you and your partner are both happy.

How Can Now&Me Help?

You can get ample help from Now&Me if you are dicey about your sexual life, and wish to understand the importance of sex in marriage. You can talk to professional experts at no cost and take subsequent bookings starting from Rs 30/- only.

Not only this but you can also join the community of like-minded people and find solutions to your situation anonymously. You do not have to go through this alone. Talking about such matters might be considered a sham but at Now&Me, you will find people who are always there for you, without any judgment or opinions.

Download the app and get solutions to your problems right away!

Sources

  1. How Important Is Sex In A Relationship. Choosing Therapy. Published October 2022. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-important-is-sex/

  2. How Important Is Sex in a Relationship. Verywell Mind. Published March 2023. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-should-you-have-sex-more-often-2300937

Now&Me articles are written by experienced mental health contributors and are purely based on scientific research and evidence-based practices, which are thoroughly reviewed by experts, including therapists and psychologists with various specialties, to ensure accuracy and alignment with current industry standards.

However, it is important to note that the information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Individual circumstances vary, and it is advisable to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice and guidance.

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