Commitment Issues: 16 Signs, Causes & Tips

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Sarvika Aggarwal

22 September 2023

6 Mins

You must have heard of the term “commitment issues.” It largely connotes the idea that a person who has commitment issues finds it difficult to stick with a particular person, job, or career for a long duration of time.

However, when we talk about commitment issues in a relationship, it shows the fear of being in that relationship for a long time because of inner conflicts and patterns.

So, let’s see the signs and causes of commitment issues.

What are Commitment Issues?

Commitment issues, meaning — to have a fear of sticking with a person because of inner fears, conflicts, or insecurities.

These tend to show up when your relationship starts getting serious or when you start planning your future with your partner. The reasons and causes for this can range from situation to situation, so let’s see what leads to this kind of behavior, whether it is a man or a woman.

16 Signs of Commitment Issues

There are some signs to see if you or your partner are dealing with commitment issues. Let’s see what they are:

  1. Feeling suffocated in your relationship
  2. Feeling trapped or nervous when your partner is ready to take the next step
  3. Feeling hesitant to talk about the future
  4. Not being able to open up or be vulnerable
  5. Trust issues
  6. Not communicating properly
  7. Avoid making plans
  8. Ghosting you
  9. Not including you in future plans
  10. Running away from serious issues
  11. Questioning or doubting the relationship
  12. You want to explore more when it comes to relationships
  13. You are not that romantic with them
  14. Fear of opening up or letting them in about your inner conflicts
  15. Isolating yourself when things need to be talked about
  16. Not including them in your life or important decisions

signs of commitment issues

Causes of commitment issues

The causes of commitment issues can range from person to person, but some of the most common ones are:

  • Unresolved issues from past relationships
  • Not communicating enough to be on the same page
  • Expecting the other person to do everything without any communication
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Childhood trauma
  • Always looking for something better
  • Not being content with what you have

These are some of the causes of commitment issues seen in a relationship; however, if you wish to tackle this issue with your partner properly, it is important to confront them and have an open and honest conversation with them.

causes of commitment issues

How to Overcome the Fear of Commitment

While the fear of commitment can be absolutely daunting, it is important to talk about it and look into the root cause of it so you can actually be happy and commit to a long-lasting relationship. So, here are some of the ways to help yourself –

1. Communicate with your partner

When it comes to your fear of commitment, instead of hiding it from your partner, it is important to confront them and share it with them so that they are aware of your issues and are able to help you navigate through this difficult time properly.

communicate with your partner

2. Introspect

When it comes to your inner fears and insecurities, it is important to sit with yourself and examine the root cause of your commitment issues. It might be difficult to do so, but until and unless you spend time with yourself and get to know yourself and your needs, you won’t be able to stay in a relationship for a long time.

introspect

3. Talk to your close ones

In times like these, the most reliable people are your friends and family members, who have seen you at your worst and can help you by listening to you vent or by motivating you to talk to your partner.

talk to your close ones

4. Individual therapy

If you wish to seek professional help, you can consult an individual therapist from Now&Me who can help you look at your insecurities and fears from an objective and empathetic perspective and help you deal with them in a healthy manner.

individual therapy

5. Relationship counseling

You can even take couples therapy with your partner to understand your relationship and your individual fears or commitment issues to strengthen your bond and relationship. With the help of relationship counseling, you can eliminate your fears in a healthy and effective manner and build a strong relationship with your partner.

relationship counselling

6. Look what you want from a relationship

When it comes to commitment issues, look at your relationship with an objective eye and make a list of things you would want from your partner and relationship. If you feel your relationship can provide that, then look where the real problem is coming from. However, if you feel your current relationship doesn’t align with your values, it is better to talk about it with your partner.

look what you want from a relationship

7. Think about the future

Take a moment and think about the future. Imagine if you could see it with your current partner supporting you and being there with you and accordingly examine yourself and your fears. However, if you think your current relationship doesn’t align with the future you envision for yourself, it is best to talk to your partner and tell them about it because they deserve to know the truth.

think about your future

8. Be true to yourself

When you know about your commitment issues, be true to yourself and your partner, as they will be able to help you navigate your way around your fears. Moreover, it is important to be honest with your partner and especially yourself about whether you are living an honest life or not.

be true to yourself

How can Now&Me help?

Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that helps you feel lighter by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It helps you engage with others and makes you look at your situation from a logical and solution-oriented perspective instantly, at a cost as low as Rs. 30. Become a part of the larger community and understand your commitment issues through online counseling with Now&Me.

When you do not understand how to navigate through your commitment issues, sign up on Now&Me and seek professional guidance from our experts. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community. A platform made for you to readily ask for help and let our experts help you understand whatever is troubling you.

Download the Now&Me app for free and get a good understanding of your needs from a panel of qualified experts and a loving community.

The Bottom Line

It is quite normal to have second thoughts about your relationship or have commitment issues with your partner. This doesn’t mean that you cannot be in a relationship or that there is something wrong with you or your partner; it just means that you have some inner conflicts that need proper attention and care from your side.

However, it is important to note that while you are going through these feelings, you do not become harsh towards yourself or your partner, and you include them in these feelings so they can help you and the relationship navigate through this issue in an effective manner.

FAQs

If you see your man going through commitment issues, do not lash out at them. Sit with them and talk politely to them so that even when they cannot understand themselves, you try to understand them.

The most common sign of commitment issues in females is not getting into serious or long-lasting relationships.

Symptoms of commitment issues mostly include running away from serious relationships, not being able to open up emotionally, and feeling trapped by being in a committed relationship.

You can sit with yourself and talk about where this issue is coming from, or you can talk to an individual or relationship therapist from Now&Me at a price as low as Rs. 30 or take short versions of therapy for instant guidance or support by downloading the app.

There might be varying reasons why you have commitment issues, but it might be because of your past relationships, trust issues, or not being able to open up easily with others. Rather than assuming about it, it is best to seek professional help and understand your commitment issues properly.

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