Yesterday midnight my mom woke up due to sudden panick attack. I sleep with my mom and my dad sleeps right next to us in a small bed beside us. My dad and I woke up and tried to calm her down. My dad gave her anxiety pills. I kept asking my mom if she was okay but she kept ignoring me. Then my dad took her to the balcony so that she can inhale some fresh air. While I just sat there in the bed waiting anxiously. After a few time they both came back. I just stared at my mom with teary eyes. She asked dad to go back to sleep. Later she sat next to me sarcastically bowed to me saying thank you for this stress and started crying I just stared at her numb. The back story is I had recently (6 days ago) came out to my mom about being a lesbian. No I didn’t mention anything about being sexual with a girl or being in a relationship with a girl although I am. My dad is completely unaware about this situation because he is already dealing with depression and I don’t want to make it worse. I belong to a Hindu household and this stuffs aren’t taken open mindedly. I know my mom is in an utter shock but it’s being really hard for me to handle all of this at once. I also cannot ruin my relationship with my girlfriend because she is the reason I had the courage to come out to my mom. She is my soulmate and I don’t wanna lose either my family or my girlfriend. Now I’m having a lot of sucidal thoughts. I just don’t think I can take it anymore. Seeing my mom like that completely broke me and on the other hand if my parents know that I’m dating a girl they will restrict me from everything. What do I do??? I’m only 18. I can’t even move out. I can’t take it anymore. I wanna be in peace.
Just curious, do you know why your mom doesn’t like you being a lesbian? Is it because of culture or belief?
Same sex relationship isn’t a usual thing in my country. Neither does my culture has any mention of same sex relationship. So as people are they love giving things their label of standards. Here people like me are taken as psychos. When I told my mom she wasn’t actually mad. I’m the only child of the family. She just said it’s ok to not like boys. But I can never like never be in a relationship with a girl sexually or romantically she made me forcefully promise on her head. Growing up I’ve always been set this forceful standards I must fulfill no matter what. It’s because I represent my parents. So she is ashamed to show her daughter like this. People will point out her parenting and all that stuffs… She is scared of what the society will say or the relatives will say and she herself is disgusted by me saying I like a girl.
Just stay put for a while. Continue with your career building stuff and you have your girlfriend. Just imagine of that dreamland which you can strike if you hurdle for some few years.
Once you become independently successful nobody can harm you. Keep the hope alive dear 🥺💖💖❤❤
Thank you… I will try to keep my hopes up.
Another human @justahumanb...
Hey its alright. Your only are saying that you came out to her 6 days earlier. Its new to her. Give her some time. I assume she is not much aware of lgbtq+ and she needed to be made aware about it. Give her some time. Approach her slowly giving her knowledge about it. You don’t have to tell her about your girlfriend now. You are still young. When she starts accepting you then only I think it will be good for you to introduce your girlfriend. Plus you have a long way to go girl. You are yet to become independent and once you are on your own feet, things become little easier. Trust me. Don’t lose hope
I really hope so. I don’t care about the society at all. As long as my family supports me and my relationship I’ll be the happiest soul alive. Thank you
Another human @justahumanb...
Exactly! Family support is all that matters. More strength to you to face all the problems that might be on the way. You’ll do great just don’t lose hope.
There are so many things that shattered for your Mother, so much society pressure, future worries and what not.
Give her some time, she will come out of it and just don’t do anything to harm yourself it will not do any good to anybody. Be more open, support your Mother and she will eventually understand and accept you!
Thank you for your advice. I’ll try them after I get the guts. For now I’ll try to keep some hopes up.
Yes be safe and be you
Look i haven’t read the whole thing. But iveq been there. She’s manipulative and also could be a Narcissist. Do see doctor Ramini’s videos incase you want to know or aren’t sure what this is. I just got to know this year at 26 years old what’s been happening all my life.
All the best. Take good care. And incase you’d want someone to talk to you can reply here, I’ll add you to my dms. I’m not often here but, whenever I’ll be I’ll try to be as helpful and validating as possible cause I know this, it might help me as well.
Can you share the link about the video you were talking about?
This is her channel. You can start with watching Narcissistic mother’s and also generational/cultural narcisisim. And then see all the ones you like or like watch the series on types of narcisisim. She’s an expert so you’ll find all about narcisisim, all there. And some briefs about cluster b personality disorders as well. Let yourself relate and then only decide what is happening in your case.
And everyone else-
no one pls, don’t go there and harass people or be abusive to the doctor. Incase you do they’ll report you so don’t get in trouble for your own egotistical and uneducated self.