Yesterday midnight my mom woke up due to sudden panick attack. I sleep with my mom and my dad sleeps right next to us in a small bed beside us. My dad and I woke up and tried to calm her down. My dad gave her anxiety pills. I kept asking my mom if she was okay but she kept ignoring me. Then my dad took her to the balcony so that she can inhale some fresh air. While I just sat there in the bed waiting anxiously. After a few time they both came back. I just stared at my mom with teary eyes. She asked dad to go back to sleep. Later she sat next to me sarcastically bowed to me saying thank you for this stress and started crying I just stared at her numb. The back story is I had recently (6 days ago) came out to my mom about being a lesbian. No I didnโt mention anything about being sexual with a girl or being in a relationship with a girl although I am. My dad is completely unaware about this situation because he is already dealing with depression and I donโt want to make it worse. I belong to a Hindu household and this stuffs arenโt taken open mindedly. I know my mom is in an utter shock but itโs being really hard for me to handle all of this at once. I also cannot ruin my relationship with my girlfriend because she is the reason I had the courage to come out to my mom. She is my soulmate and I donโt wanna lose either my family or my girlfriend. Now Iโm having a lot of sucidal thoughts. I just donโt think I can take it anymore. Seeing my mom like that completely broke me and on the other hand if my parents know that Iโm dating a girl they will restrict me from everything. What do I do??? Iโm only 18. I canโt even move out. I canโt take it anymore. I wanna be in peace.
Just curious, do you know why your mom doesnโt like you being a lesbian? Is it because of culture or belief?
Same sex relationship isnโt a usual thing in my country. Neither does my culture has any mention of same sex relationship. So as people are they love giving things their label of standards. Here people like me are taken as psychos. When I told my mom she wasnโt actually mad. Iโm the only child of the family. She just said itโs ok to not like boys. But I can never like never be in a relationship with a girl sexually or romantically she made me forcefully promise on her head. Growing up Iโve always been set this forceful standards I must fulfill no matter what. Itโs because I represent my parents. So she is ashamed to show her daughter like this. People will point out her parenting and all that stuffsโฆ She is scared of what the society will say or the relatives will say and she herself is disgusted by me saying I like a girl.
๐ Godโฆ
Just stay put for a while. Continue with your career building stuff and you have your girlfriend. Just imagine of that dreamland which you can strike if you hurdle for some few years.
Once you become independently successful nobody can harm you. Keep the hope alive dear ๐ฅบ๐๐โคโค
Thank youโฆ I will try to keep my hopes up.
Another human @justahumanb...
Hey its alright. Your only are saying that you came out to her 6 days earlier. Its new to her. Give her some time. I assume she is not much aware of lgbtq+ and she needed to be made aware about it. Give her some time. Approach her slowly giving her knowledge about it. You donโt have to tell her about your girlfriend now. You are still young. When she starts accepting you then only I think it will be good for you to introduce your girlfriend. Plus you have a long way to go girl. You are yet to become independent and once you are on your own feet, things become little easier. Trust me. Donโt lose hope
I really hope so. I donโt care about the society at all. As long as my family supports me and my relationship Iโll be the happiest soul alive. Thank you
Another human @justahumanb...
Exactly! Family support is all that matters. More strength to you to face all the problems that might be on the way. Youโll do great just donโt lose hope.
Thank you for your advice. Iโll try them after I get the guts. For now Iโll try to keep some hopes up.
Look i havenโt read the whole thing. But iveq been there. Sheโs manipulative and also could be a Narcissist. Do see doctor Raminiโs videos incase you want to know or arenโt sure what this is. I just got to know this year at 26 years old whatโs been happening all my life.
All the best. Take good care. And incase youโd want someone to talk to you can reply here, Iโll add you to my dms. Iโm not often here but, whenever Iโll be Iโll try to be as helpful and validating as possible cause I know this, it might help me as well.
Can you share the link about the video you were talking about?
https://youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani
This is her channel. You can start with watching Narcissistic motherโs and also generational/cultural narcisisim. And then see all the ones you like or like watch the series on types of narcisisim. Sheโs an expert so youโll find all about narcisisim, all there. And some briefs about cluster b personality disorders as well. Let yourself relate and then only decide what is happening in your case.
And everyone else-
no one pls, donโt go there and harass people or be abusive to the doctor. Incase you do theyโll report you so donโt get in trouble for your own egotistical and uneducated self.