Wish I had words to put here, are we really sure about anything, anything at all ? 

Faith in itself is an independent thing. An element of faith for me can be a myth for you. Faith solidifies my beliefs, but what else? 

Faith in yourself and that you are taking the correct decision. 

No, but faith helps one take the decision. 

Life

  QUESTIONS 


i have soo many questions 
that I ask throughout the day 
all the whys  and what ifs 
All the things which I want  to say out loud

○ why do all the things always happen at a particular time
What have I done 
What if I wasn't  there today 
Why am I the only one 

○ Questions that know no boundaries 
Can scourge the heart and mind 
Desperately seeking answers
Which are no where to  be found 

○ there are so many questions 
Which can only be answered by ourselves only
The hardest question of all is 
How can we get through 
  

3am Thoughts

Anyone from 2020 you and me era ? Things used to be different back then. 
This evening I decided to download the app again and it brings back soooo many memories, soo many friends and soo many posts and replies trying to heal. Now that i am in a better position i feel how stupid and cringe i was back then, And by looking at it..It gives me hope and confidence that if i can pass my absolute shitty phase, i can pass everything. 

ps. i lost my old connections they've last seen of March and April. 🥺🥺🥺

Nostalgia

Kya lic assistant ke exam me quadric equation ati hai....
Kitne% chances hai..??

Career

I never thought things like this would happen with me. I build this image of them in my head. I'm mostly responsible for the things that happened. I'm an idiot. I will always be an idiot. The past relationships that went wrong, all those times when I was replaced, heartbroken and laughed at should have taught me something, it should have made me realised how unworthy of love I am. But now I get it. I got tired of filling pages in my diary. I just wanted to feel heard and not judged. 

Emotional Abuse

Honestly, the older I get the more I realise life sucks. It will always suck. People aren’t nice and a lot of what they show you is a facade. If you live your life completely honestly and do right by everyone then you’ll feel more alone because you’ll realise no one else lives their life like that. But do the opposite whilst internally being a good person and having a good heart and you’ll hate yourself. Growing up with a healthy household is fundamental. If you don’t then you spend your whole life undoing the mess that your parents have caused whilst feeling like the worlds worst person and unfixable while your at it. But self loathe too much and your now throwing a pity party and feeling sorry for yourself which is frowned upon. Talk about mental health until you start speaking and no one knows what to say back apart from the regular “I’m here for you” “it won’t be like this forever” and even then they don’t really care they feel awkward in the moment and don’t know what to say so throw things out to make themselves feel as if they’ve done something to help. Trying to get mental health help without having fortunes to spend is honestly a joke. Kill your self and people will say they don’t understand why you did that, but will never try to understand the amount of times you reached out for help. Tired.

yrr i just thought sometime 
maa baap ne chota beta/beti 
as a Stepney kiya hota h ki agar ek accha nhi nikla to dusre ko to kam se kam thok peet kar accha bana lenge😂

  

Happy

Everyone try to distract their mind when they feel low or whenever they have gone through a breakdown so wanna know what y'all do when y'all feel stressed, gone through breakdowns or anytime when your mind get messed up? 

Other


So I had this incident 2 months ago when my really close friend just casually  iced me out one day.Like just started acting cold and just stopped talking to me all of a sudden.she was speaking to all her other  friends except me.like wth. And she was doing this continously for 2 months. And well there were many things she did which I ain't mentioning and I can never describe all those feelings that I went through those 2 months that she continuously kept doing that.
I tried talking to her SO MANY TIMES,but she still kept acting the same.Made many efforts,went to her,like practically made efforts many ways but she still acted the same.
Like she could have also made some effort or if she was a a position where where culdnt really meet me and stuff she culd literally tell me just one word ryt.like she culd literally text or whatever like SHE HAD SO MANY ALTERNATIVES but she chose the one where she had to hurt me. like i was hurt really deeply.to the point I culdnt talk about it.mostly because I loved and cared about her way too much and well I was the one who was there for all her lowest times and now that she was dng good and happy,she just decided to act bad towards me like what????
Dont get me wrong.im not jealous that she is happy and all it's not that,it's just the fact that she just totally ditched me for 2 months and was like ok with it...thats wat hurt me.and then I was trying to accept the fact that she didn't really want me in my life and I was moving on,when she again came back.2 months later.Apologising to me.
Saying that it was unintentional and the explanation which she gave was so irrelevant to the issue.
Obvi when she brought up the issue,which I didn't think she wuld,I was soooo pissed and angry af. 
Like I appreciated the fact that she apologised and made an attempt to give an explanation but like it still hurt yk.
It was easy for her but not for me yk.
But since I was a person who didn't like fights or making it into a huge issue,I decided to forgive her. And I felt peaceful after forgiving.
I forgave her.but it still hurt.
And then ya after that day she said she wuld make efforts to talk to me and bla bla but like,yes u guessed it right,she didn't.
It's like if I make efforts,only then she will also make like wow.
but I didn't forget what she did yk.i can forgive but I'll never forget.
I was the one who loved her like she was the only thing that ever mattered but she chose to treat me like a crumbled piece of paper who culd be replaced so easily.
And again I dont have any grudges towards her cuz well keep grudges ain't gonna give me peace so I ain't dnging all that.
We are good.everythings good between us but things are never gonna be same.
There's always gonna be that gap between us.Her gap being that of guilt and my gap due to that betrayal.
But again there were many things this incident taught me and I'm so glad for all those lessons. This is a lesson for yall that ur actions rlly impacts a person deeply.even if it was unintentional, it is never right to treat a person bad.make sure u make up for what u did.and if that person never gave u the closure that u neeed its fine.u can live without that as well.
 never stopping loving someone even if that love isn't reciprocated.it only shows who they are as a person not u.
Please don't ever be cold just because someone treated u like a toy.Keep being u.keep loving people.
And keep a distance with people who make u feelbad.
Be in places where ur presence is valued and remove urself from places where ur presence is not valued.
Make sure u stay away when u have to.
and last but not least,give ur love to places where it is worth giving.where it will be accepted fully.
The right person will know how to treat u right.



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts