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InsecurityThought

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Anonymous

Why doesn’t this feeling fade away. The feeling that nobody actually liked me. I have tried several things. At the end chose to stay away from everyone. I try to understand my personality traits or how it affects my mental health but this dependence on people. This craving of validation and if they show even the slightest change in behaviour i get so so scared. I’m tired of this feeling. I don’t think there has been a single person whom i loved and they are still with me. Why am i such a horrible person. What should i change. How does this world works.
When will it end

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7 replies
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Anonymous

If you get know anything about this, let me know too 😑
I’m just tired now to find the answer for this.

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Anonymous

Well i hope the answers i need here would help you as well

McHatin @_mchatin

the stuff you are insecure about is mostly the thing that you don’t believe about yourself, so you look for external validation. But in reality no amount of external validation or reassurance from the outside would make this feeling go away. things that worked for me is, stop relying on external sources (people, internet etc etc) and work on yourself. Sit with the insecurity and see where it is coming from, in this case, I feel you should also read about “Unconditional self-love” (Unconditional being the key word)

“Stop fighting yesterday’s battle today and stop fighting internal battles on the outside”
-Read somewhere

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Anonymous

You are right. I do need to learn about self love. Do you have any book recommendations?

Well i have done some really awful things in my past and my self hatred is on another level. I’m very expressive about how i feel and i let people know how i feel about them. Someone once told me that I’m way too expressive and it scares people.

Well i have a long way to go where i finally won’t need external stimulation for dopamine.

McHatin @_mchatin

Sorry, I don’t know about any books but if it’s something that’s making you miserable, you can see a mental health professional. From my personal experiencez they might tell you to have gratitude journal (write down things you are grateful for every morning) and give you positive affirmations to read out loud and some other stuff (different things works for different people9

The other thing is, it doesn’t matter what you did in the past, or even today… that’s the point on “Unconditional” self love. There is no condition to love yourself. If you want others to accept you and forgive you for what you did in the past, you’ll have to forgive and accept yourself first

The Crusader @thecrusader

Just a question… Did you get enough attention and approval from your parents in your childhood?

I have observed that people who have parents with very high expectations have similar feelings. You just keep feeling the need to get praised by people around you. Self approval is never enough.

If not parents, it may as well have originated from a toxic relationship where your partner always undermined you and thought of you in a lowly way and you never got acknowledged even after the relation ended.

I might be wrong too… but seemingly you have nothing majorly wrong in your life, it might have to do with your childhood or a traumatic past memory.

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Anonymous

I often wonder about that sometimes. About if all of this is related to my childhood and I can’t actually point out anything.

I remember wanting to do everything right so that nobody scolds me. I rarely do anything against my parent’s will.
It may be the root of everything i have also been with people who eventually just stopped giving me affection and i need reassurance all the time.

Now I know the damage how to undo it?

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