why did i always thought that working hard will actually works and you get visible results, after all the efforts i put into it's still null..

Things don't work like that you need to wait in order to see the results. You don't just do gym one day and just become a bodybuilder not even in a month it takes time likewise in other case you are growing but slowly that is not visible but one day it will be don't worry😇. 

Good things take time don't lose hope one day  you will definitely succeed in ur life.

Depression

Like I wanna help.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I have no friends to celebrate it with.

I had the perfect relationship a while ago. We were even thinking about getting married. But things went downhill and I was considering breaking up with him but I never did because I love him so much. Because of the pandemic, we had to leave the country and come back to India and so we started doing LDR. We spoke about how things got bad and decided to fix things. Our relationship has gotten a lot less toxic but I still find it very very difficult to trust him. I was so hurt by him before moving back that I avoid even looking at him when we facetime because it hurts so much. I do not know how to fix things. He says he still wants to propose in the future and I know that I will say yes. But thinking that things will be this way for very long scares me. What should I do?

Relationships

It's feels so heavy, I can't 
Nothing is being fine especially these days 
I miss the older me 
Why don't people understand, let aside people my own family doesn't 
I don't know what to do 

Frustration

Why can't i love myself.

Life

Chai piyega koi..???

3am Thoughts

beaten down...but a tiny bit positive


Money Problems

Okay so my parents divorced when I was like 3. I have no memory of them being together or anything. I visited my dad's every other weekend from about 5 or 6 till I was 12. My mom has never been a super affection but my dad had a habit of hugging and kissing me every time he picked and dropped off me and my brother for the weekend, telling us goodnight, etc... My Dad and I were never really on the same wavelength he was very much a masculine sporty guy and I was a quiet, anxiety riddled little girl who had absolutely no interest in sports so I never had much to talk to him about. Despite this I created a huge attachment around him. I knew he favored my brother over me and it always made me sad but I loved my dad. Well when I was 12 my Dad cut me off. He cut off all contact spontaneously and I have only seen him in passing since. I've always carried a huge weight over it and it flung me into a depression when I was 13. I felt like I had to have done something wrong if my Dad didn't even want me. As a 20 year old now I understand issues are wayyyy more complex than that but I still carry an immense weight over it. We both live in the same small town and I see his house literally everyday in passing and I always think about reaching out to him. But.....I'm terrified. I feel like I want to write a letter explaining how I felt and how I feel now and telling him I will always love him but I'm so scared that I won't get a response. Because at that point doesn't it mean all my assumptions were right? That he really just didn't love me or want me? But I feel like if I don't then I'll live the rest of my life missing a piece of me and forever yearning for him to be there. I don't know what to do and I'm just looking for an opinion that isn't coming from my mom (who still holds a lot of anger and resentment about the whole thing) or family trying to just tell me what they think I want to hear.  

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