When we are not in a certain situation we have 1000s of ways to tackle them but when the situation actually comes why our mind choose to be stupid?

Or we become afraid to take difficult steps

Or our mind just stop processing and everyone's suggestions feel suffocating 

Because at that point of time we start thinking about problem more 
Than the solution 

3am Thoughts

living on my terms in my life is all I want and wish for. I just want to be free to do anything I like. I ain't a good dancer. I am not a cool person. but I am funny in. do rich people have everything easy? don't they have to struggle for anything? like people who are rich and cool? I think coolness comes with being rich. rich people are even beautiful. I want to be ultra rich tbh. 

I'm not sure but i was preparing for medical exams. And i took science in highschool. But now I'm trying to apply for commerce program. I kind of feel like a failure for some reason. Everyone sort of expects me to become a doctor and i feel like I'm disappointing a ton of people. Also what if I'm making the wrong decisions. I just feel like my parents care but not that much so they don't get involved much. I blame all these people for not being able to study but then i know that I'm the problem and all of this is just me complaining. 

Career

What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.

- Sylvia Plath

I feel stupid. Public high school in my country is really bad, rotten books, dripping ceilings. Just generally poorly funded. I’ve since graduated now however I feel like I didn’t get what I wanted out of my education. It was very unfair considering I had no other choice but to attend in that district. Now I want to go to college and get a better education but they also ruined me for that as well, I’m scared I’m not smart enough to do it. 

Anxiety

Im trying to help myself. 

I want to know why I'm I having so much problems in my adulthood on my personal front.

I have been to research , read.

My therapist told me is also related to childhood wounds,trauma and parenting.

Any parenting or psychological books if anyone can recommend?

Or self help books.

Any link where I can read and have access to some good books.

O any movie or documentaries o any  media o publication material you'll suggest.

Please do


Im getting curious..!! As to why I'm going through this.




Mental Wellbeing

I am a big big fool. I am angry on myself. My Ex comes to me every once in a while in month calls me and behaves she is very upset she left me and she is guilty all that. She talks on call for an hour after that when i text her for any emotional thing just to listen she disappears... i am a big fool. Why i receive her calls why the heck. I dont want to do this anymore.

Everybody talks about childhood memories and how they wish they could be a child again. 
Am I the only one who never felt like that ? 
Whenever I try to recall my childhood there is no positive memory that I get, it’s only negativity. The only thing I remember is family fights, getting beatings from my mom for no reason, getting bullied by teachers and students etc 
This has effected me so much that even now I feel insecure about many things like my skin, body weight, speaking my thoughts, relationships etc 
Anybody know how I can overcome this ? 

School

Tomorrow is my exam but I can't  study due to anxiety

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