When I say little things aren't little I really mean it...like I was studying and few minutes ago I looked at litchi which is stored at a basket on the top of the fridge I wanted to eat it but I thought ab kaun jaye so I just let it and kept on studying and then few minutes later my mom came with a bowl in her hand which was filled with litchis...she qas watching me the whole time I was eyeing the litchis lol....the way I felt that moment is unexpressive...the thing that there are people who cares for you...their are people who loves you...you just need to look around and notice the little things that they do for you...you'll feel happy believe me you will...sorry for writing this much...I'm just happy and I want y'all to be as well🥰

Yeah it felt like heaven😅thats why in this problematic life those little things are the way to clinging on it😆💕 

Happy

Having mental breakdown frequently now. Trying to cop up but can't help. Anything anybody want to share so that it makes me relax? Atleast for a bit

3am Thoughts

Just wanna go away from all the people I know

I want to run, far away from here but... I'm scared of loosing something valuable or hurting someone dear to me..

Depression

i have so many people who care for me and love me but im so tired of living and i feel really bad about it. like im supposed to be thankful for all i￼ have yet i can’t even find the will to live for all these people. i feel like there’s this darkness inside that’s consuming me whole

I am exhausted. everyone says it and i hate that they misuse that phrase because i am genuinely exhausted. i cant do this i feel nothing whats the point of being here if i feel nothing im not happy or sad i just dont wanna be me anymore i dont wanna feel like throwing up everytime i think of my existence i dont wanna keep on making up scenarios where i end my life and imagine how my family react i dont wanna be this messed up weird person the whole world sees me as and the worst part about it is i can't change any of it i cant erase the image the people in my life have of me in the past i was such a twisted person and i still am now and even my family dosent know it . i know i need help i just dont know how or what for . im lost . and i feel like the only way ill be at peace with myself is if i leave . and i feel so guilty because i dont have a valid reason to kill myself apart from the fact that I hate the way my life is . take as you please from that phrase but i hate the way my life is . i hate the way my friends ask why im crying everytime we break up for half term . i hate the way my family functions . i hate the way im always chasing the wrong people and i get broken and they walk away perfectly fine . i hate the way i look . i hate the way i think . i hate the way i have to come on a website to vent because i have no one.

Emotional Abuse

Coming here everytime felt so bad but i got no option, its just whenever i feel i got no one's ears to listen 'sigh' well here we go.
Ok so my today's day wasn't going good like boring boring..soo sham ko i slept out of boring haha and woked up to a text from a old friend of mine who wasn't just a friend but once my bestie but things weren't really worked out ..its like that friend had given me nothing good at once but a betrayal and made me question myself everytime i try to make a new friend, insecurities, am i not enough things well its been 1 year to that days where i have been on my worst...(that friend had ditched me on a trip where i have gone only for that person and that only person behave that i was no one but  a stranger i was legit left alone..have been through that trip almost alone but the thing is that person legit have a audacity to still have a convo..idk should i reply or seen zone it idk legit..my mind is all clueless..since that message i have seen my mind is having all that sorrowful event ughhhh and it justttt  i wanted to rant that's it. Idunno if i really should reply to that friend ruthless or not its just i always that bad person who's always fighting to have a stable relation but everytime it just fell apart and abhi bhi aisa hi lag rha ke m hi humesha har cheez ko bada bna deti humeshaa mai hi ladti but what did i do to deserve this kind of friendship which made me hate myself a lot..
The texts says 
Heyyy long time no see
How you doing.
As if they really don't know what they have done to me its hurting so fucking bad that days still haunts me. My tears aren't stopping since the message have been popped up ughhh

I have fucked up my life.
I m Socially Awkward,  Unemployed at 26,  Living with parents, Zero friends and zero self confidence now.
I m constantly living in humiliation,  loneliness,  and depression since last 3 years. I lost all my friends,  I never had any relationship,  I have social anxiety since childhood. 
Constant failures are killing me. I can't see any good future currently. I don't want these suicidal thoughts. I don't have anyone whom I can tell anything about how I feel. 



i can't exactly describe how i feel
but it's not quite right
and it leaves me cold

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts