Well I met this guy almost one and a half years ago. After our first meeting I thought he would never want to meet me ever again and I was absolutely fine with that. Few weeks later we met again eventually he confessed his feelings just a day before he was leaving. His confession came with all the terms and conditions like "I don’t want to be in a relationship, I can’t give commitment"etc. I tried my best to stay out of his life and not to bother him as he made himself very clear and I thought once he will leave he won’t text or call anyway, as he made himself very clear. Surprisingly he texted me as soon as he reached his destination and started calling me thrice a day, everyday. Eventually I got my hopes high as things were going great. Suddenly, few months back he started saying things like “this is a casual relationship right…we are just friends”, etc. Later we had discussion and he again refused to give any kind of commitment and when I tried to end things with him that is also not possible. And now from thrice a day the conversation has moved to once in every three days😢. He is not a bad or toxic guy he is just commitment phobic. He never opens up no matter how hard I try. I know he had some bad experiences in past, he will never talk about it and it affects our relationship. I’m on the verge of giving up. I know he has feelings for me but I guess I’m losing my patience. I’ve started to feel like it’s one sided love now. As if he doesn’t want me in life anymore. I really don’t know what to do. I can wait for him forever only if gives me something to hold on to.
See I know you have been patient for a while now but I think he has a really dark past and he isn’t able to open up so much. I know it drives crazy but please don’t give up. He wantes to hold on to you. He needs you. I know it’s terrifying but you are so strong. You can do that
It’s not easy. I don’t want to give up either. He is genuinely very nice and kind. I had one extremely terrifyingly toxic relation for a very long time and after that for a very long time I had difficulty interacting with people and sometimes I still feel that it’s me who is wrong. And it kills me even more. I always feel like I’m not worth anybody. This guy made me believe that things can be fine again and when he says and does such things it kills me even more.
I know it’s not easy . And I know I can’t feel what you are going through. But he isn’t ready for commitments which means like he doesn’t wanna lose you because giving a “relationship” tag is a heavy weight. You gotta talk to him about how you feel. Just tell him everything. He probably will understand you.
I’ve tried doing that. I’ve expressed all my feelings multiple times. Few weeks back we had same conversation and he said he doesn’t want to give this discussion a lot of time and he this is the last time we are having this discussion. Since than I started limiting my involvement in his life and now suddenly on my birthday he sends me gift. Why??? I don’t understand why? We are not kids anymore. We are grown up adults. And we are at a stage where we can’t keep doing this. It’s time where we need to manage our life and start thinking of settling down. He can’t keep doing this.
I think if it’s making you this Terrible just let him go then. You can’t let your life be so miserable because of some person. It’s gonna be hard but believe in yourself and do things what you feel is right for u. Sometimes being selfish is better thing to do instead to letting yourself be so terrible
I guess it’s time.
Yeaah it is. Just take care to yourself. And make yourself believe that you are so precious.
Thank you so much for listening me. I really was struggling with this. I really don’t know what’s the right thing. I know he has issues and a part of me doesn’t want to let go. But I can’t keep doing this to me. It hurts and it’s painful.
As I told you sometimes being selfish is important. And it was my pleasure to help you. Anytime you want.
