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BreakupThought

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Anonymous

We broke up like 8 months ago. I can’t seem to forget about him? Or just he’s always in the back of my head
I often visit his social media and he makes posts that feel directed towards me like posting pictures of himself and gifts I gave him and captioning it like hope she seeing this or commenting on my nail techs post of the nails she did on me shit like that and it always keeps me coming back to his social media
It’s been a rough 8 months it was a horrible break up. We took a break? We got into a arguments and broke up we talked things over and he said he wanted to focus on school and tht I should also focus on school and try bettering myself for our future together although I was sad about the break he assured me we would get back together and I asked if we were still exclusive and he said yes ofc so I was completely fine with waiting for him. We spoke very often still FaceTime calls and he’d still say he loved me and kept telling me to wait for him after a while he become distant
and rude and well didn’t put up with anything he thought was bs from me i loved him so I still got a bit jealous when things felt off

about a month into the break I noticed that his best friend had left a friend group group chat and they had unfollowed each other I ask asked his best friends Bc we had known each other and were pretty good friends and he was reluctant to tell me at first but he told me that my ex/boyfriend idk had phone sex with his girlfriend
I was heartbroken:( I confronted him and he denied it his best friend gave me proof
I was angry told him I hated him other pretty mean stuff
So did he
Said he never loved me blah blah
He started crying afterwards begging me to tak him back blah blah yk said he was gonna hurt himself the same day he had phone sex with the girl he told me tht he reallly loved me and we FaceTimed after they did that shit with was reallly disgusted to me how he could do that

I reallly loved this dude so I gave him a second chance I asked if anything else happened he said no his best friend had already told me hooked up with another girl a week after we broke up
He claimed he never agreed to being exclusive and was just living his life saying I wished I was him I asked him to apologize and cut off the girl and that we could work things out he said he wouldn’t apologize because he had done nothing wrong it was really just a lot of up and down Like ok let’s get back together and then we would fight and say no and then yes and so on I tried really really sad to get him to apologize it’s really all I wanted and I just wanted him to show any tiny bit of remorse he didn’t and he said I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about what he had done Bc “it would be embarrassing for me” annnnddd I didn’t all “our” friends still love him I ended up cutting things off with all of them
This break up caused me a lot of anxiety and panic attack i was very cheerful and I reallly loved everything my life has always been very nice nothing bad had ever happen to me which is why I thing this effected me so much I just didn’t think it would ever happen to me I guess my life was kinda perfect. I was insecure for the first time in my life because of him I felt as if I couldn’t trust anyone. It was just months of depression I was looking at some old messages and I just feeel so bad for myself now that I see things without love in my eyes seeing how hard I tried even after the pain he caused me to see good in him and I really just hurt myself even more I still miss the amazing person I was with he was an amazing friend and he was a good boyfriend idk what happen to him both his ex best friend and I agree he is not the same even after everything I can’t seem to hate him or get over him there’s like a part of me waiting for him to come back to the way he was before
We’ve graduated now I wished him congratulations after not speaking to him since I cut him off he was still very cold toward me and now makes more post directed towards me
Just tried of this dude mentally but my heart is still hung up on him I just wanted to talk about I hope this helps me I hate that I actually listened to him and didn’t talk to anyone about it I was so dependent on him
Why won’t he get outta my heart :((( he’s so mean I never liked mean guys like that he become everything I don’t like so why do I still want him

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2 replies
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Anonymous

Idk why it says trigger warning?

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Anonymous

I’ld suggest if his social media keeps distracting you then probably block him. What he did is not worth of bringing him back, it was cause you more pain that what you have now. Ik it’ll be hard but it will be worth.

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