Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

We all break our rules for someone. That’s what I did. Though we are not dating, still we belong to each other. We were wet due to rain. It was his birthday. We had no idea about what might happen in evening (bad weather). So, we decided to spend some more time with other and went to a room he had booked for his birthday. I never thought I’d go somewhere like this. I too wanted to be with him, fully. I went to the bathroom and my upper being completely wet, i asked him to switch on the fan and let it dry. I was in the bathroom only, but it was going to take too long. I asked him if i could come out. He said yes, sure. I had my towel over me. While i was moving out, he was talking over a call. He pretended the conversation to be going, till i crossed the path. I guess he was trying to make me comfortable. He turned around me after the call got disconnected. I wasn’t feeling uncomfortable and so felt weird. After a few minutes, i asked him that he should let his shirt dry too, and so did he. Now we were comfortable around each other. We sat, and were scrolling in our phones. Then, he came and put his head in my laps, with a pillow. We were soo closee, like something i never thought about. My childhood fear of being touched by someone haunts me, and so i never ever imagined to have it by my own. I was as much involved as he was. We didn’t cuddle, or even if we did, we didn’t realise. We took some pictures, which are in my phone. I never ever had an idea to be this close to him, or anyone else. This was my rule, and i broke it. We gave each other a warm hug, as i had to leave. Again, we were damn close, his hands over my waist, me looking into his eyes. We could have kissed mannn! But we didn’t! Or maybe we could not! Whatever that was, it made me feel something too deeply. While he was holding me now, he gave a kiss on the cheek, he had given it before, but everytime, i used to push him back. This time, i did not push him back! I was so lost in the moment. The more i am thinking, the more i m feeling. It’s gonna hurt, when he’ll leave! I never felt this hard before. My mind is just hvng a flshbck of all those times. I broke my rule! And don’t know how to feel now. Was it okay? Having these mixed emotions is valid? I don’t know if i love him or i am jst gtng attracted. Is this the moment that is making me feel like i love him or do i really love him?