Very low and depressed.
Isn’t family supposed to be the most supportive and caring at our down times?
I wasn’t blessed with something like that. They are supportive - only for things that matter them!
I’m not a person who believes in arranged marriage but u wasn’t loving anyone too.
An year ago my marriage was fixed to a guy who wasn’t interested in getting married. He wanted to get married only for his parents sake. Even I agreed to get married for parents sake. I tried to avoid this marriage but nothing stopped them.
We never spoke to each other till the day of wedding. We never even took an attempt to meet each other and get to know. He had a thought that this will out after marriage.
Initial 2 months were fine. We tried to be affectionate and tried to get know each other slowly. Dumb me opened up everything I thing I felt to say and whatever I wanted to say to my husband. Where as he, he only to show the good side of him and only shared the good perspective of his. I never realised it after the 2 month of my marriage. He started showing his true colours. He never liked me or never interested in me in any way.
It was mentally abusive relationship There on. What ever I had opened up to him, he always used it against me. I started to give up on showing affection as I wasn’t getting any. But somewhere I felt I don’t want to leave him as he’s the only person I had started to love and opened up.
But things were never getting better. The distance between us increased. Even I started to hate him every now and then. But he said bringing a child into our lives will make everything better. I wasn’t okay with idea coz I wanted a child after settled up in life. Even I wasn’t getting any affection i wanted how could the child get? I never wanted a child before we came into some understanding.
After a heated up argument including both families, I have come to my home and staying with my parents. I felt cheated upon, lied to and used.
It’s been 5 months since I came away from my husband but until now he hasn’t called me - not even once!
I sometimes feel like calling him n ask why he never called. When I called him during the time I came to my parents he was very angry on me for spoiling his good name n asked me to never call him again. Both our egos are competing each other it seems.
My parents never asked me how I feel about marrying him and never asked anything how I feel after this incident. After all happened, my parents are asking are you okay to go back him? They’re concerned ofcourse but why haven’t they understood that this isn’t working out!!!
Do I need to consider him in my life?
Ujjwal @ubrdj
Going through everything you shared above… Probably you can re-consider him in your life again only if you are 100% sure that things won’t repeat ever again(like he used everything against you whatever you shared about your life and you both should seriously agree on taking this relationship forward and just not for the sake of your respective families and the so called society)
You were completely right when you decided that bringing a child is not a good idea at this point as the initial relationship is strained and having a child isn’t a solution or doesn’t guarantee that everything will work properly!!
You need to discuss each and every scenario with you parents and your husband, and you should have 100% assurance before considering to get back…If the decision wasn’t correctly taken during your wedding or initial days it doesn’t mean it needs to be dragged on forever!! There’s still time and hope to take a better decision and lead a beautiful life!!
Take care and stay blessed 🙏
You don’t have to. Please do not consider yourself weak, and you haven’t spoiled his name, he is the only person responsible for himself. A woman leaves her home, parents, and many more things for a man. She becomes a shield for her husband against, sometimes venomous, society. In turn, she never ask anything except for the “unconditional love” of her husband. You deserved the same thing. You have taken absolutely correct decisions so far. Stand for yourself. Nobody is going to speak up for you. This world is a selfish place, and everybody is concerned about their own happiness. No matter how bad the situation turn for others, they don’t care. So, it’s time to think about YOURSELF. You were born alone. You have got this life only ONCE. Now you have to decide that whether you want to waste it on a man, or you want to explore your deepest passion, which I guess you won’t be able to fulfill with such a husband, and who knows, maybe you’ll get the most passionately loving person of the world in the coming future. But first, LOVE YOURSELF.
Please don’t consider going back to him. I have a similar story. The guy who loves you will always try and solve things. Emotionally incapable guys only treat someone like this. I really wish you get a partner you deserve.
