yellow @yellow
(venting out my feelings.)
sometimes when im feeling really sad i look up coming out stories that have happy endings, i daydream to myself coming out to my family, all their reactions are positive and happy but when it ends im left with a pain in my chest and tears in my eyes. I think to myself if i would ever have the support of my family. When i realized i was gay i didnt want to believe it, i saw how horrible gay people where treated at my school so i refused to believe i was gay. I tried everything i could to “turn” myself straight but i knew that it was impossible. I damaged myself so much trying to be something i was not. When i accepted myself i started loving myself a little but it was short lived because i realized i would have to come out to my parents ,they weren’t very accepting of the idea of same sex relationships or anything related to the LGBTQ+,knowing that i kept my mouth shut and stayed in the closet, and for years i stayed like that but, im getting tired of this, im getting tired of having to hide myself to not upset my family but i cant do anything about it. So now im here, alone, sad, and mad. It pisses me off that my family would turn their backs towards me just because of my sexual orientation, it also makes me sad that my mother, the only person i trusted would disown me for being myself. I sometimes wished i wasn’t alive so i wouldn’t have to feel this loneliness. I dont have anyone else but a few family members and im scared that if i come out they will leave me, then i will truly be alone. but i hate having to hide who i am. We are normal people just like everyone else, why is it so hard for parents and other people to understand?!? I just want to be accepted by my family…
is that too much to ask?
I know im not alone in feeling this way, countless people feel like this and it sucks. If you want to tell me your stories, the comments are there ill read every and each one of them. It helps letting your feelings out instead of keeping them in, it helped me, it might help you.
Hey, I don’t have a story, but i just wanted to comment to tell you, to do what is right for you. Deciding to invent a life of your own may be different from what your family planned for you. Deciding to exist differently can change your relationships. When you execute your decisions, some people will not be pleased. However, making decisions for yourself is brave and healthy. People cannot determine what is best for you. It’s ok if what worked for others doesn’t work for you. Be strong my friend. Sending good vibes.
yellow @yellow
thank you :)
Hey, keep yourself normal first. Or don’t think too much because thinking too much increases the problem, it doesn’t decrease it. And I think you should take a little walk, get out of your city or so that you can feel comfortable, I feel that way sometimes too. And I’m out of town right now, feeling better than ever.
And do not think from now on when to tell the family members, take some time for yourself, make a relationship with yourself. And wait for the right time, when everything is right and you feel that now you should tell them
