Urgently need suggestions
Situation I m facing is from last 5 years and it became worst since January 2021.
Jan Feb March apr and now may on daily basis I have fight with my family (mother, father and brothers) my family is very much conservative. I do not want to marry into arrange marriage although I don’t have any love interest. And I had love relationship in past for 10 year but now that person has gone. And no body knew about my love life. Now at this point of time I m not ready to marry and I just want to focus on my self and stable my self. Due to corona I suffered lot .my earning reduce to 5k per month it’s part time job I lost job too very hardly I m surviving. Today I met huge fight with my mother she continuously from many days taunting me to get married they don’t allow intercast or inter religion marriage. My family scared of if I married someone outside .on daily basis we have fight most of the time I try to keep mum and listen and ignore whatever they say. But today my mother abused me very badly and 2 things I can’t take (physical and verbal abuse) she slut shame me, she said I m wife of her father ,I slept with menn she called me rand***, she said she wish I have died, she said chhinaa****,she said me I eat potty, and all that in local Hindi language u can understand how abusive words sounds in hindi then I also lost temper and I also said may be u r sleeping with lots of man that’s why u r assuming me in that category may be u slept with ur father ur son and other male relatives. I said may be u don’t eat food and eat shits that why telling all these . She said she did lot for me she gave me birth ,she fought for my education she cared me when I was sick and near my death bed and she is right she really loved me too much in past .She said me she will not provide me food I have to make my own food and wash my cloths and she won’t do anything for me I said no issue I will do all by my self. Now I know all what she said too was in anger and all what I said to her was in anger and right now I m so much angry on my family but I know I should not take any decision in anger. Bcoz gusse me liya faisala galat hita h . I m 31 years hoping my earning would be better in coming years but I can’t take it any more. I live in mumbai I have few good friends who can help me by allowing me to live with their house. I just want to knw should I walk out from my family from my house by today or tomorrow. Or I should tolerate them more untill I earn atleast 10k per month although I use to earn much much better monthly I had good bank balance but I lost everything in this pandemic right now I have 20k in my bank and may be I will get my salary soon so it will be upto 25k what I should do. I m unable to take it any more. The time I enter in my house everything is so toxic they hate me they treat me like inferior person they don’t values my opinion my thoughts. 5 years ago it use to be good happy family but now everything is ruined I do not want to see them and they wish the same if I m not ready to marry…I m in much anger that’s why I m asking opinion from unknown and plz while suggesting drop ur age too so that I can understand from what age opinion is coming. See I will respect each and every opinion but 15, 20, 25, and 30yrs old person look into same situation with different thinking and experience. Right now I thinking to talk one of my friends and ask them if they can keep me at thier home atleast for this year . probably by 2022 I will get good job or I will marry to someone of my choice . But I can’t trust in my thinking reason I m in too much of anger. Plz drop ur age while giving suggestions
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