Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Truth is, I want to be a singer. I want to host amazing concerts that nobody has ever seen. But people scare me. I used to perform but there were times where I messed up on stage and people didn’t react very well. It has stuck with me. Along with this, I saw how judgemental and unkind people can be. I find myself to be a little pathetic in this aspect. I’m letting people get to me, and I’m not necessarily “tough enough” or confident enough. The lives of singers are also quite scary, many of them get disrespected publicly and some mysteriously pass away or commit suicide. Now that I think of it, the industry scares the shit out of me. But I want to be a singer so bad. I can sing, but I am so scared. Once again, pathetically, I have been scared for so long, it has been years since I made a move in my singing career. I sing in groups for different events to avoid standing out. Singing solo is scary, it terrifies me. I am literally almost done with my undergraduate degree in Psychology and I will move onto my master’s and perhaps start working. But I don’t want to be a Psychologist. When I see people younger than me being more successful in music, I feel so inadequate and like I am not doing anything to further my life. I am also not the most perfect person and I am politically more conservative than the extremely liberal majority of famous music artists. I am pretty sure I’d get a lot of shit for that when I become famous if I express my political opinions. Life goes on, my path is moving into a career that I don’t want, time is ticking and I am sitting here, scared.