Thought

@alonesam

Toxic relationship or what tell me please: So it started with a relationship which lasted 2 yrs. I met this guy(let’s say Y) through a frnd on insta for dating purpose only. At that time i had got out of a relationship and he was also single but he was obsessed with his ex who left him. Since I on the other hand had made no efforts in the earlier relationship, was willing to do everything I could do in this relationship. Although I was talking to my ex but Y on got in a relationship with his ex with whom he was obsessed while being in a relationship with me. This continued for 2 months when again that girl dumped him and he he decided to stay with me… Until then I was unaware that he was in a relationship with his ex. I started listening to everything he said or asked me to from blocking guys on insta to stop talking to my girl friends I did everything to please him and show him that i was loyal to him and I won’t do anything like his ex … 6 months later he found out my chats with my ex ( I had stopped taking to my ex in the 3 month only) but he created a scene for that he called my ex and my ex being my ex told him how I wasn’t serious for him and all… He told me all nasty things for talking to my ex and came back with me but in a way that he was doing a favor on me. Then 8 months later I found out from the chats that he was in a relationship with his ex I just asked him casually that why he did so for which he did all sort of drama that I am sorry I did it by mistake now I love only u n all. Again I got back with him constantly pushing myself to prove myself to him that I worthy of him. Then once my old guy frnd msged me on WhatsApp I did just hi hello and then I blocked him thinking that if he finds out he’ll create a scene… I did mentioned about that frd to my best frnd so he read it from her chat and when I told him that I deleted the chats he called that guy and went and fought with him and then told. Me all bad things about how I should be loyal and all to him… He took my WhatsApp after that. Then after some time it was my best friend’s birthday but he ordered me not to go there and did emotional drama that if I am important to u then block her. I did that even and got away from. My friends. I even cancelled going to delhi for my clg studies and stayed in my city because he said he can’t live away from me and long distance doesn’t works. He asked me to take a girls clg here in my city but my parents got me into a coed one because it’s reputation is better and studies are also better in it. So he had problems with anyone I had a talk to… I just msged a guy from clg and he saw it on my WhatsApp and told me I am slut and all sort of things which no one should hear. Then he cried and apologize and said to come back … I was so dumb I got back with him and as he said that he was changed person I even sent him a conversation with a guy classmate after that but again he told me how I was flirting and was too friendly with that guy just because I had send a 😂 emoji. He told me he wants to end it and doesn’t wants to stay with a person like me “jo dusre ldko ke gand me ghusti h” . Then we brokeup but he wants to be just frnds now and says he’ll change himself but I don’t understand a person who tells his frnds that I cheated on him by talking to other guys when all I ever did was had a normal conversation, how can this guy change and if he wants to stay frnds what can I do because when I tell him I don’t want to be frnds he asks me to meet him and then he manipulates me with crying and I can’t see him crying and miserable and if I disagree to meet he gets angry and calls my mom. And threatens me to call my family and tell them about us. I don’t know what to do. PLEASE HELP ME!

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @justhereforu
13 replies

Siddiq @allthosewhowandera...

Omggg, why the fuck do you keep up with all his drama and shit. Should have thrown him out the first chance you had. From a guy’s perspective I can tell you my theory of cheating when it comes to relationships. Here it goes- “if a girl wants to cheat on you, she fucking will, there is nothing you can do to stop her except loving her enough to make her belief that your relationship is worth saving” many guys don’t understand this and doesn’t gives space to each other to grow. And when there isn’t space in a relationship, it automatically becomes toxic. You don’t deserve that motherfucking piece of shit who calls you such sexist things. Just take him out of your life. If you have any guy friend, tell them this and of they are sane they’ll threaten him back that they’ll break some bones if he continues. Sorry but this is how things get done. Love yourself! More than you love that filth. Coz if you do, you’ll not give a damn if he comes crying like a man child that he is, coz you’d know that you can do way better than him

@alonesam

Thanks a lot❤ means a lot coming from a guy. After being in this relationship I created a stereotypical image of all the guys that all guy think of girls in this manner that if they talk to some guy they are flirting and cheating. Thank u for changing my perspective. Also the problem is that i don’t have any guy frnd because as I mentioned he asked me to cut off all my guy frnds and those who made an effort to talk he went and hit them so now I don’t have any guy friends. I have just started going to clg so i dont think anyone is that good frnd of mine to help me by fighting him and all. I just don’t know what to do because this morning only he messaged me asking to meet him on 3 feb and end this friendship he asked me to keep but i know like old times he would come to meet me cry show how miserable he is how wrong I did to him and then make a decision on his own that he wants to be with me lke a friend. I mean i dont mind being friends because I don’t have anything for him now. But he isn’t matured or sensible he still wants to ask me why I added this guy or that guy on insta and if I ask him to finish this so called frndship he says he’ll do something to himself he will destroy his life and all that… I mean i don’t want that empathy part of me to go away because of him so i agree to being frnds but i just can’t take it anymore.

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Anonymous

see 1st thing you should do is relax urself . dont get tensed , jerks like these do exist .2nd just calmly go and say a no to him. look i would just say is no one in this world would love u the way u do urself and then think is this guy worth hurting urself? if the 1st reply u get is no then block him right way and then if u guys meet then just look into his eyes and say " i am not afraid of u , if u wanna meet my mom come i will take you to my home , lets go together " definitely he will not wanna meet ur parents. becoz he is just trying to control becoz he has no one to rule on . see just chill and dont worry even if things go till ur parents just let them becoz even if ur parents shout at u or be harsh on u at tyms but they will protect u . and of course they will cherish u . they will forgive u , after all no one’s parents would want their child’s life to get ruined by a dumb ass shit person . see love is always abt accepting ur partner and cherishing their world . he cant let himself be the ruler of ur world . so stop falling for his crocodile tears and be straight . love urself , heal urself, be with urself never leave ur own hand for someone else .i am saying this NEVER EVER LET ANYONE BE UR PRIORITY ABOVE URSLEF , I REPEAT NEVER . ppl will respect ur feelings if u make a strong appeal for urself . if u dont want that person to interfere in ur any bond then he has to respect that .HE HAS TO!
no one can be more imp then ur own self . ONLY U R THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD IN U .
and he does that again and again becoz u give the power to him .he is taking u for granted . he is thinking that this girl wont leave even if i hurt her . he is locking down
on u . but all u have to do is leve him behind be brave , be bold and idk if u had seen "main tera hero " movie there was a dialogue in that " THE MORE U GET SCARED , THE MORE HE WILL SCARE U " . a girl can never be a toy . so show him that he is nothing in front of andif u wish to talk again we an meet up . i have been in ur palce . i am a girl too . i can understand how it feels . if u wanna meet and talk or on call i can surely be a grt help until u are over him . i repeat dont fall for him . he clearly is not the right person for u

@alonesam

Hey thanks a lot for taking out time and reading my story❤ . I just don’t know what to do because this morning only he messaged me asking to meet him on 3 feb and end this friendship he asked me to keep but i know like old times he would come to meet me cry show how miserable he is how wrong I did to him and then make a decision on his own that he wants to be with me lke a friend. I mean i dont mind being friends because I don’t have anything for him now. But he isn’t matured or sensible he still wants to ask me why I added this guy or that guy on insta and if I ask him to finish this so called frndship he says he’ll do something to himself he will destroy his life and all that… I mean i don’t want that empathy part of me to go away because of him so i agree to being frnds but i just can’t take it anymore. Also I have very conservative family so I don’t want to involve them in all this. Because they’ll help me at last but then they’ll become extra involve in my life decision whom I am friends with or not. I don’t want that one wrong decision makes other decisions so difficult for me. Also I don’t have any elder sister only 2 elder brothers I have and they are also of the same thinking even worse u can say. So I have only a cousin who helped me but she also lives far away so there’s no one in my city lucknow who can help me

Profile picture for Now&Me member @justhereforu
@justhereforu

u can count on me always … v cn be best frnds . share me ur no.
i will help if u fall weak . i am here to help u out

@alonesam

Thanks a lot for taking out time to read my life Situation. Means a lot.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @justhereforu
@justhereforu

love you dear ❤️😇

@rihanna

Hey same thing happening with me right now,I really can’t understand how to cope up with this situation,I don’t talk to any one only to prove my loyalty to him but he always say the things like this am having an affair,(me chuttiya kat ti hu,me bf hote hue bhi dusre ladko me interest dikhati hu) and blah blah even I don’t talk to anyone,one day when we are on video call my phone vibrated and he said you are cheating(tum sabko number bant ti ho,looks deti ho ladko ko,tume message aare h) even that vibration was a normal notification but he created a huge thing from that he never understands my feelings never care about how bad I can feel no one likes to hear all that shit but I really love him I always fucking try to prove myself explain myself but nothing matters,atlast he says sorry and he is like me esa hi hu me gussa hojata hu tume pta hai because I never want to loose u tume samj n hai abhi then he says things like that.i always forgive him but nothing happens I don’t know I always cry alone,feeling depressed and overthinking about all this not even able to concentrate on my dreams,study I did everything to please him but I think he can never trust.give me some advise what should I do?

@alonesam

See I know this situation so i know this I love u I’ll change for u and all is just nonsense … If you are scared of a person u love for things which u never even did wrong then it’s not love. I realized it the hard way but i would suggest u to firstly talk to him about it and say it clearly that u are not his pet it’s not a crime to talk to any guy. If he’s stopping u to do anything then u confess it to him that he needs to change his habbits or else it’s nit gonna work … Only if he changes actually u stay with him or else leave him and if he does any kind of drama then I’ll talk to him just let me know I’ll tell him that I am your elder sister and I would see to it that he leaves u with peace.

@rihanna

Thanku so much. I really wanted to tell my feelings who can understand this.I am really tired of explaining myself everytime.thanku so much I will talk to him clearly about this.thanku for helping me di.

@alonesam

I am more than glad to help you. Tell me how everything went.❤

@rihanna

Ofcourse I will.

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Anonymous

sorry, got 4 lines in and refuse to read the rest. you don’t need that man. dump him, focus on yourself, move on. bad situation, bad relationship. you don’t need that sis

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