To get what you love, you must first be patient with what you hate. 
-a wise person 

Anonymous 001

3am Thoughts

I'm not okay. I think I haven't been for a while. I grew up in a family where my parents were not fit for each other but they still continued that toxicity. My father used to swear at my mom. I once saw him raise his hand on her too, haven't been able to tell anyone out of embarassment. 
I dated a guy for a long time, he was insecure and abusive to me. He had mental issues too, that's why I stuck around. I had to break up because he was suffocating me (tracked my location, hacked my WhatsApp). I feel guilty of leaving him in that mental state.
6 months later, I was almost engaged to a guy (arranged). But it didn't work out because our parents had a huge miscommunication.
I have been feeling like I do not deserve an ounce of happiness. All my life I have been chasing peace for me and my mother but the closer I get to it, bigger a mishap takes place.

I recently found out my father has been cursing her again and it is giving me sleepless nights. I stay up and keep going to their room to check on my mom to see if she's safe. This is madness. I cannot help it. I'm shaking and crying and I don't know what to do. Sometimes it feels it's my karma of leaving my boyfriend. But I'm tired. I need rest.

Depression

i need someone to have a daily conversation with, to be each other's safe place.

Friends

Have a brown colour body with beard, makes people think he is bad guy or he do illegal stuff, only just because person is bad/brown guy. 
Is this how today’s people think or judge someone. Even as joke can internally hurt that person just because he/she have brown/black colour body. 
Then even that person starts blaming himself why is born this why or loses the self confidence. 

Reality even we say we don’t do that but internal we do discriminate on being colour of the body. Even 0.000000001% we do. 
Harsh reality 




Society

Any suggestions for good therapist who specialises in LGBTQ and depression related issues. It will be of great help, thanks. 👍

I wonder how much tears i have in my eyes . 

When do you cry ?

**Hello**
I am 20 years old, and I am going to this fancy ass business school this year. Sounds like a dream. But there is a problem which is my brain. It is just not bright enough for certain things. I experience odd mental breakdowns due to a certain trigger, which is Mathematics. Ever since elementary school I've been an absolute zero at Mathematics and everything related to it. I know that there will be a part of math related subjects at this business school. And here I am, the one that only got through everything in the past because my teachers felt bad for me and they made it so that I wouldn't drop out of my schools, even though the grade that I really deserve is zero. No I don't say it just to complain about life, but I can't stand the thought of leaving the school in humiliation just because I failed Maths. I can't help but have my eyes tear up whenever I think about maths, it gets worse when I don't understand something, which is always. I try to calm myself down studying in advance before the school year starts, but just understanding the content of the lectures is not good enough since I can't do any practical exercises. I don't want to start to punish myself in some ways whenever I suck at something. But I keep beating myself up. There was a couple times when I caught myself imagining the scenario in which I slept with my hypothetical maths teacher in hopes to stay at the school. Then I thought I am so stupid, my maths teacher wouldn't find me worthy even for that. Hope it made you smile. Anyway, s.o.s.

College

you betrayed me and I know that you'll never feel sorry.

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