Thodi der shaanti se baithna hai. Likhna hai. Khud se baat krni hai. Lekin idk why, yeh resistance, ya shyd time nhi h, ya shyd bass baithna hi nhi h, maybe procrastination. Idk

Do you guys feels the same? If yes, how do you proceed? 

Ik. And i wanna do it sooo badly!! But Procrastination!!

Happily single! (ps. Why do i need a relationship when i have Kdrama/cdrama to watch) what do u say gals? 😂

Main apna kaam acche se toh uss Varun jisne mujhe damki di thi ussne mujhe call Kiya tha kuch dar pehle ....    
Hume bola ki " hume aapse baat nahi karni hai " kuch baatana tha " 
But jab hume yeh bola ki " Or yeh kyu bola tha Ki ager tum x boyfriend ke depression se Nahi nikalli toh usse 3 din sex karunga Aur Aisa karunga Jisse tum kabhi nahi bhool paayenge 
He said " Tumne glt suna tha aur tumhare kaan baj rahe hai  aur tum bhut acchi ladki ho" 
Mere se juth bol rehe hain 
Aub voh varun mujhe puch reha hai ki "voice sex kese karte hai " Hume bol diya hai ki " hum kaam kar rahe hain"  
he said " Voh bola kab tak free hogi
Humne bol Diya "jab hum puri tarah se Free hoge tab " 
Voh bola "main wait karunga " 
Aubhi message Kiya mujhe ki " ok waiting " 
Hume bol diya ki sone ja rahe hain
He said " Me pgl hu jo wait kr rha hu "
 "Ab baat Mt Krna please"
"Jab apko jarurat thi me th na" 
Toh aubhi mujhe call Kiya tha
he said "main tumhara wait kar Raha hu " 
hume kai baar bola ki  "hum sone ja rahe hain"  
unhone bola "main kuch de raha hoon dekho " 
Toh issne mujhe 2 sex video di ,
or bola " call cut mat karna aaj puri raat tumhare saath call par rhunga " 
Humne call cut kar diya 
Aub bola "sorry "
Matlab sach me had hai main pereshan hogyi hoon inn logo se matlab ek taraf bol rehe ho sex karunga or usske baad tum bol rehe ho "sorry" ya "mene Aisa kuchh bhi ni bola hai . "


Anxiety

thode days when going to school was actually a therapy that we were didn't aware about
sab kuch chood chaad ke jo peace aur enjoyment di hai na school me friend vo mushkil se hi milegi 

3am Thoughts

Me oman me rha rha hu last 6 moths se, Mera din morning me 6 baje start hota ha, 6am baje utho, 7am baje shop open karo, 1 PM  close karke lunch karne room par jao, khana bano, so jao, 4 baje shop open karo, raat 10 baje close ke room par jao, khana bano so jao, same routine every day, na koi holiday, sometimes I feel that I'm working like a robot, 
Na friends ha pass me, na family,  
Shop par bhi akela hu, vese papa ha pass me, unse kaam ke alwa kisi or topic par syad aaj tak koi baat hi nhi huwi, ....... Friends sab india me goverment jobs ki prepration kar rhe, to unhe bhi jyada diatrub nhi kar skta, khabhi sochta hu kya mera bhi prepration cchhodne ka decision shi tha ya galt, jab khabhi friends se baat hoti ha to bolte ha, shi ha tu shi time par nikal gya oman, warna india me prepration ke chakar me pada rahta, .............................,   khabhi sochta hu itna padhne likhne, ke baad shop me kaam karne ka decision khi pressure me liya gya galat kadam to nhi tha, ......... ,,, 
Money bhi life survival ke liye bhoot important ha, pata ha,  ......... 
Par uske liye, family, friends, khud ke liye time, sab kuch hi cchod diya to baaki kya baccha, .......... , 
Man itna niras hone par khud ko khafi baar smjhta hu, kitne logo ke pass kuch bhi karne ko nhi, tere pass khud ka kuch karne ka to ha, kitne logo ke pass 2 time ka khana bhi nhi ha , par tere pass to ha........... , 


Kitna khud ko samjhauu pata nhi, par fir kuch din baad ye hi feel hone lagta ha, mene life jina cchod diya ha, bus kisi program kiye huwe robot ki trha chala ja rha ha, ............. 

Kab tak chalta jayega pata nhi, ....... 


dosto apni pareshani baato ek sentence m
mine - ( i can't control my thoughts) and i suffer

Socha tha yahan aake loneliness door karunga, yahan to saare mujhse bhi bade bade lonely nikle🤧

When I try to handle the situation.. it became worst  again... Like.. kuch acha ho hi nai Raha life me kya karein... 

Emotional Abuse

ab yaad nahi 

yu tera muskurana ab yaad nahi 
yu mujhko bhool jana ab yaad nahi 
ek kitaab likhi thi mene humari kahani par
vo kitaab kahan rakhi hai ab yaad nahi 
me kabhi tera naam tha 
tu jese mera inaam tha 
kis baat par khoya, ab yaad nahi 
naa jaane kitna roya, ab yaad nahi 
mujhe dooriyon ka matlab samajh aata nahi tha 
ek khayal tha jo mann se jata nahi tha
par vo  kya khayal tha ab yaad nahi 
na jaane kesa haal tha ab yaad nahi
ab jhoot bhi achha bolne laga hu
dard itne hain ki unko tolne laga hu 
chhupana seekh gaya hu me sab baatein purani
koi pooche to keh deta hu ki ab yaad nahi 
chahein tera muskurana, chahein mujhko bhool jana
har baat ka ek hi jawab ki ab yaad nahi



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts