This Might Be A Bit Long Sorry I New Here (I Just Made A Account)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don’t even know how i’m feeling right now, i just moved to a new school and have been having probably the most confusing times of my life, at my previous school there were, (probably still is), a lot of racist people, they would call every black, hispanic, and asian the harshest things they could think of and wouldn’t even second guess themselves and simply blurt it out. While i moved to a MUCH better school, but now I don’t know how to communicate normally, i feel like something horrible is gonna happen as soon as i open mouth and try to talk to people, for example i’ve had a handful of people try to talk to me but i just end up freezing up and stutter every letter of the word i’m trying to say, and then i look weird or like a social reject. I want to be able to speak to people and WHO KNOWS maybe get a new friend. Anyways here is what i’ve been trying to do to help cope ; writing text messages to myself and venting here are the text’s
---------- Text’s
You know Im not sure if I like my high school experience so far…
The only kinda joy or fun is hearing others conversations and there experiences
Ngl it felt like I was wearing a fake smile, do I really enjoy lonely?
Would I really rather being degraded and used left and right?
I dont know if its cause I spent so long in that kind of environment that know im like “trained”, as if im a dog, into thinking I enjoy it…
And when someone even tries to converse with me I give them a kinda plain simple response instead of being myself and making jokes starting conversation’s
i dont even know anymore
How should I feel about all these feelings
Next time I go to my doctor’s should I ask about how to help understand and help treat my feelings
…
Am I treating these feelings right?
Should I be trying to fix them as if its something horrible
or should I try to nurture it and train to help cope with my own feelings
God my bed is itchy
Should I go to the schools consolers or the media specialist or something?
Wat if she calls my parents or something
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Text’s ^
Hey I’m so sorry you had to go through such a bad time, I think you should put some effort or watch out series, to know how to interact socially. Even ive been the socially awkward person, and its a pain to talk to people, but not because I dont like them, but tbh I enjoy solitude. But it doesn’t hurt to have friends u know, i had just one friend in college and we had q good time. So try to interact as much as u can, maybe they’ll understand you, and if u find people who are like minded, u can even share ur past stories… I’m sure they’ll understand.
You’ve been very strong, i wish u good luck at school and lots of love❤️ Oh and also, do talk to your doctor about this issue!
TeeJay @dran89
Agreed! OP, just take slow steps and interact with people. Get comfortable around people. This is a new school with better people. Give them a chance. Don’t let your fear stop you from having a good time.
Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. Cool? 😁
