This is going to be long but I need some advice .
I was in a relationship for months but we broke up.The guy was very confusing.Sometimes he shows he loved me a lot but sometimes it felt like he did not care .
He told me all about his past ,about his exes and all about his physical relationship .The thing is he think that he ruins his exes life and he has done bad in their life I think making false promises and getting physical .He was still in touch with his exes when I was in relationship ,I don’t know that they talk to each other but they follow each other on social media but he did not like any of their pics or post. I never once doubted him ,I trusted him alot .But he gets emotional and was not happy with himself .He shared a lot of things with me .He uses sex to distract from reality .He was with many girls but regrets after he broke up with them .But the thing is he only thinks about regrets and mistakes but never do to make them correct and again find new relationship as a distraction .He told me he never met someone like me and I did too much for him .and made him feel the way that no one ever did but I don’t know if these words true or not but it made me very happy but as he is very emotionally unstable person I feel bad for him .Can a person like ever change or does he have to suffer life time like that .I still could not help him while I was with him but its just hurts to know he has to struggle like that .
He is depressed about his life sometimes talk about suiciding .I know he feels pains I just can see it in his eyes all heavy and emotional I just wishbsome one help him and he gets his happiness. All of his bestfriend know about his behaviour and said to me that he was not capable of love anyone now as he felt those emotions before and got mentally disturbed and now he can’t fall in love again.And he is very addicted to sex .
Hey there,
Sorry that you are going through this. But as someone who has dated a very similar guy, I would say no honey. You may think that you can bring him back to normal. I understand that you want to help him and do not wish bad for him.
But I want you to keep all your love for him aside and think about it logically. What if he kept saying the same things to all those girls to win their sympathy just like he did with you. You don’t know because you can’t trust someone who is so unstable.
Just because someone is honest to accept their mistake, doesn’t give them a clean slate. That won’t undo the past.
If you try to be his guardian angel, you are going to hurt yourself very badly in the process. I gave my ex 9 times the chance to get his shit together. He was still a jerk who kept accepting his mistake yet repeated it. He had this tendency to talk to all of his exes. He was so confident that I will forgive him no matter what he does. He used to cry and I used to forgive all the horrible things he did and accept him. That damaged me a lot from inside. After all the time I had put up with him, he still hurt me without even giving it a second thought.
Like they say in an airplane, “Fasten your seat belts before you try to help others”
You owe yourself some love and peace. He did some mistakes and he is supposed to deal with it in whichever way he wants. The world isn’t going to end for him if you don’t take care of him. He will survive he is not a baby. You don’t have to worry about him. That’s the problem with people like you and me. We just give love and are full of kindness. That makes us vulnerable to such narcissistic people. See how he hurt so many girls and using the very same situation lured you into having sympathy for him to the point where you are worried about him.
You will have to take care of yourself dear. Don’t get so absorbed in his trap. Don’t get manipulated.
Focus on your own well being. Stay far away from him. Invest in yourself. If your best friend was dealing with someone like this, wouldn’t you ask her to keep away from someone so toxic? :)
Stay strong! Take care and know that you deserve someone better.
Thank you so much .Your answer helped me alot to clear my mind.
Anytime! 😊 If you feel confused again (if your feelings try to hold you back), come back on this thread and talk to me. I will be here for you.
Good luck! 🤗
