Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

This is a big story. I really want someone’s opinion. I shifted to a new country with lot of hopes for my studies. Everything was fine for the first 6 months. Then I met a guy from a dating app and we started casually dating. He kept on telling me not to take it seriously. But since I was all alone here I kind of started getting feelings for him and even revealed it to him since we met every other day in a week. He still told me to keep things casual. After 2 months he told me that he was engaged and the engagement was on the verge of breaking anytime and they were not on talking terms. I told him we will forget each other and move on since I didn’t want to continue. He somehow convinced me and since I really liked him I agreed. During this time when he decided to end things with his fiancé, somehow things started getting alright. And they were on talking terms. So I felt very bad and became close with a friend which upset him and were decided to stay away but somehow in a week we got back together. During this time he told his fiancé about me. Then when we got back he asked me to move in with him and somehow I was foolishly in love with him and accepted. Once we started living together we had good time but he was talk to his fiancé on one side and was living with me and I knew it. He said one day it will end because I will get married to my fiancé due to his family and her family reputation. I got pregnant and had to abort the baby and went into an emergency and was in depression. We still lived together and had lot of fights which always ended up in him physically abusing me to the extreme level. Still I loved him…His fiancé knew that I was his friend and someday when we went for a trip she got very upset and told her family about ending the engagement since he didn’t seem interested. But somehow even after families were involved he really wanted to try to get her back and somehow it happened and they were now on really good terms. His ex also came into picture and it was very torturous for me to see him having feelings for the other two. I just couldn’t make my mind to let him go. This continued and I had told him several times I loved him but he told me it’ll have to end someday. Almost 3 months before he decided to go and get married we had a very severe fight and he hit me and tore my shirt and ripped my chain and ran away telling me I am a psycho. We both were too drunk and my emotions were at peak. In that drunk state I sent a message to his fiancé telling about the pregnancy and living in relationship. Now she has told it to his family and sent proofs and is breaking the engagement. He told me to leave the place immediately since he never wants to see my face and he thinks I am a venom and took revenge but actually I did it because of the provoking. I didn’t want that to happen and I regret sending her a message. Currently his fiancé has to reveal it to his mom and my boyfriend is telling me that his mom would die if she gets to know this and I am the only reason for destroying everything. I know I did a wrong thing and I am very guilty and regretful. He is constantly telling me that i took the worst revenge possible and his reputation in front of his entire family will get ruined and his mom might die listening to this. What can I do in this situation? I feel so lost and that my life is not worth to live.