Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Anonymous

This discussion goes upto a very different level and so am not able to express it out to anyone in person, though it has a very valid and practical point of view according to me, but it is emotionally and socially extremely triggering when it comes to talking to someone very close to you. Another issue is, I am just in my late teenage.
So recently I lost my maternal grandmother and I had a breakdown. You would find me very rude when I say that I am happy for her that she passed away and sad for all that has come to me from her โ€˜unintentionallyโ€™.
I now feel like not having kids in future. Itโ€™s not because I donโ€™t like children or neither itโ€™s because I fear labour. I curse my heredity for this thought of mine.
From my paternal family I have the issue of hypertension and a chance of being a slight issue of paralysis (not sure). But from my maternal side, itโ€™s a huge family of diseases that is ready to engulf me anytime.
So my grandma who passed away, I have always wondered thinking of โ€˜how she survived for so long?โ€™ Itโ€™s because, she had been through 3 accidents which led to 3 rods in her body replacing bones. She had survived through 4 paralysis attacks, and 2 major and 1 minor strokes. And all this she had survived with a hereditary linage of โ€˜diabetesโ€™.
I just feel like, I donโ€™t want to create a faulty population similar to me. And also I want to know what you as a reader think of itโ€ฆ Like am I overthinking or something like thatโ€ฆ I donโ€™t know, but itโ€™s really important kind of.
So feel free to give your views on it๐Ÿ™‚

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2 replies
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Anonymous
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If you donโ€™t want to face labor pain then I should adopt a child it will make his life Also btw as the technology is getting better there are more ways to have a child

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