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The word brother means nothing to me now. I have a lil brother 17 year old. I kid you not he is the biggest hater of me. He spies on me. He mocks me. When i failed he made sure that he said the worst worst things to me so that i harmed myself and almost on the edge of committing suicide.
He told my mother about my novels because my mom doesn’t like them and i just had four which i hid. But he searched my room. Found them. Told my mom about it. I wrote letters to my girlfriend he told mom about it with that smirk on her face that was so disgusting

There is a window in my room attached with the kitchen and it’s soo big that like a person can fit into it. I’m claustrophobic so i need to keep it open. I was at my very very low stage at that time. After studying i switched of the lights and went to be. The window was right beside my bed above my head. There was all dark and i was watching some videos on phone. He came and poked his head through the window to see what i was doing and when i saw it because it looked like just a black figure of head. I freaked out. Now he said. Ha ha don’t study use phone you are good for nothing anyways.
I had series of panic attacks that night. Couldn’t sleep. Cut myself in my arms. Scratched myself. I cried a lot. And since that day onwards i keep having nightmares that someone is on that window. Someone is always watching me. Someone is staring at me. To this day i get scared when i hear noices and he still comes to that window. Even if i had my lights off
When i told my parents they were like he is just checking on you if you are studying or not. My mom used to do that too but she never came in night. Yesterday he even pet my head from the window. Asking weird questions. In the night.
I was sleeping today and my father said to him that she must be studying. Now he said that go go look if she is studying or sleeping. Now even my father came to peek. And i woke up being frightened i thought it was a dream.
I’m a closeted gay. And he makes me feel like he knows and he would tell my parents. I feel miserable. Pathetic. Anxious. Sometimes i really want to end this. He keeps shouting and throwing stuffs I can’t reply because i know maybe he would tell them. I’m stuck.
I have written my suicide note so many times. I know i have to be strong but his mere presence now makes me uncomfortable. Everytime he just says. You are good for nothing. You are fat. You are q failure…how many times have you given that exam.? Use your phone all day. You would be nothing.
I think if i really choose to end it someday. He will be one of the top reasons

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I am new to this web site.
I am 11 years old.
I am having a feeling since 1 and half year.
I have 1 side love for 3 years.
Due to COVID schools are not open so I cant see her till now.
Before I want to say my love to her but now atleast I want to see her. So I am so sad.
#Every body have love like this. Please say a way to me so that I can atleast see her. PLEASE!!!


Do you have any damn idea what i posted here. Read this post and think what the hell are you commenting. You are a child. Go study. Don’t make it worse by annoying me as it already is


Listen… Don’t… don’t ever think to end your life because of someone else. That would be their biggest victory. If you end your life then people will always remember you as a coward, which you definitely aren’t. You are a fighter. If you have fought so far, you surely can fight ahead. You are strong. Know it. Remember it.

As of your brother, … Only he knows whether he really means to hurt you or just does that to tease you and amuses himself with that. Your brother might as well be a coward if he tries to use your secret as a weapon to bully you. Atleast once try to have a proper conversation with him as to why he does those mischieves with you. What happiness does he get doing all that…Ask him this. Try to have a proper and open conversation with him. He is your brother. If he pulls your leg, even you pull his leg. He may say harsh words which he might not really mean. But still… You are elder; you should point it out when he crosses the line. Because if you don’t stop him today, then what he does to you he might as well behave in a similar way with other girls and people. He might develop a disrespectful attitude towards all girls altogether. This would be really wrong. And he would get all the more power because no one ever stopped him when he was wrong. If you hold back yourself from retaliating just because he knows your secret and biggest fear, then you should first free yourself from that shackle of fear. Tell your parents the truth. They are your parents. They truly love you the most. They might say certain things but try to make them understand your perspective.
It would be better that they come to know the truth from you rather than your brother. If you keep holding yourself from expressing your emotions, then eventually everything will pile up within you and you will feel burdened. Release yourself from the burden by speaking up. Be yourself. Your truth is not at all offensive. It’s normal. Don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s your life. You have all the right to live it in your own way. Stay happy. Stay safe.


Thank you for all your words. I’m really tearing up right now. Do you think i haven’t told him to stop. I even told him that you pushed me into depression by saying those things. You don’t think about other people’s feelings. He think he is right. All the time. All the things he is doing is to “Motivate” me. I’m not ashamed but I can’t tell my parents they are too orthodox they will snatch my phone away . They already did it once when i failed my exam. Because they thought it was because of my phone. The only source of happiness right now to me is my girlfriend. I can’t lose her right now.
He shouts at my mom and dad too. For simple things. Not making dinner on time. Not listening to him. Doing even one thing that he doesn’t like. He mocks my mom too simply for talking to relatives and even watching videos for fun. I won’t end it i know even if i die saying that you were the cause. He won’t feel anything. I tried confronting him but I’m too scared as of what he knows or not. I thought that he would be a lil bit mature at the age but it’s just getting worst


If you feel your parents won’t understand your emotions and situation, then it’s fine; no need to disclose the secret now. But your brother needs to get a nice and good lesson. He is taking advantage of your situation in every possible way. He has probably taken everyone for granted and has no boundaries set. As an elder sibling, it is indeed your responsibility to get him in control and also as a human it is your right to give him a fitting reply whenever he crosses the line. You know…maturity doesn’t come with age but with experience. He probably has always been dominating and bullying and therefore he has self-assumed an air of superiority. Why don’t you try using his tactics on himself? Like … He would spy on you and complain to your parents whenever he would get a chance. You also spy on him. Check out his actions and see what new mischief he is up to. He too might have some secrets. Try to get to know about them. Only you can show him who’s the eldest of the two. And even if he spills the beans about your orientation to your parents, then you may outright deny his allegation. What proof will he have to prove his point? Time to time keep Deleting any trace of conversation or anything from your phone which might reveal your secret too early. You need to be a bit cautious regarding your phone since that’s the only proof around. Your parents should come to know about your orientation only from you; not your brother. Since you feel this isn’t the right time to reveal about the secret, hence deny any such allegation for the time being. One day will come when the time and occasion would be right, then you may go about speaking the truth. But that’s not soon.
Don’t let your brother get the better of you. If he scares you, you double scare him. If he teases you, you tease him in return. No matter what you do, do Answer him back. Speak up for yourself. If your brother continues to behave in the same way then he might hurt many people out there, knowingly or unknowingly. He might not be concerned about his actions but other people might fall into similar situation like you. Only you can mend your situation. Remember…you are the eldest. You have the right to scold him whenever he crosses his boundaries. If he tries to hurt you with his words or manipulate you, you retaliate sensibly. Why should you get affected with his words? Has he seen the world or you? He is still an immature person. His remarks should have no value in your life but your rebuking would definitely hold value in his life. Get going. Give it a thought. Also may you and your girlfriend always be together. Also, may someday your parents accept your girlfriend as your partner. Take care.


Thank you so much. You gave me a lot of courage and hope too. I’ll try being strong and being a elder sister too. It means a lot to me that you typed all this and made me feel better. Lots of love to youu


You’re welcome.


hope you and your family are doing well!
firstly, I think that if you know that the root cause of almost all your problems is your brother why don’t you try and talk to your parents about how your brother is harassing you. look, your brother might want to irritate you but not your parent right? try talking to them…and when you are talking to them make sure he is not around…discuss this with them in private and if you want you can later let him in and make him a part of the discussion and make him also realize what he is doing to you. I am sure your parents will definitely understand all this and they’ll try to help you with this.

second of all, you know this is harming you in one way or the other, if trying to stop make him stop does not work then try to think of ways in which you can protect yourself. what can you do so that all this does not matter to you? try thinking of that. because self-harm is not the solution here honey. I understand what you must be going through but harming yourself is going to put you in a bigger problem, it’s not going to help you escape this one. try talking to your parents I think that would work, and if not you can always come back here and reply to my comment, then we’ll try to come up with something new to work on this…okay?

also, if it’s possible for you, try practising self-love every day…this will help you boost your confidence.

hope this helps you.
lots of love, light, and strength to you!❤️✨