The thing is I feel like I'm good for nothing...I am just an average in everything...I mean in everything I am just an average girl. But all the people surrounding me are really awesome and have something to excel. Even though most of them are struggling with their own mental issues. I have become of no use to anybody till now. I have anxiety issues and this anxiety is there all the time in the background even though I'm taking medications. I don't know to talk properly,don't know to sing ,dance ...also I'm not that good in studies too....I mean this anxiety is making me feel exhausted.

Anxiety

Wtf is up with my brain!

Okay I’m kinda the person who likes to keep my social groups seperate especially the ones that are family friends who I know since childhood and like my university/college friends. 


But now I have a few family friends coming to my university/college and it feels like from the convos that have been going around that they are keen to join my uni/college friend group 

Like I know I’m making a fuss out of it but I just like to keep them separated and for some reason I have anxiety and have been stressing over it 

Friends

Day 153 of writing journal entries.

It’s crazy to me how I can know so much about my brain and understand so much about psychology and yet still be utterly confused as to how my brain works… I need more time to study and understand what is going on in my head, because I know for a fact that it isn’t normal, in more ways than one. It’ll be difficult but I can do it.

My dog also tried to run away today, then I literally ran 16 miles per hour (25.75 kilometers per hour) to catch her. By the way, for a 100 meter dash, that’s Olympic level pace, and I ran that speed, even though I’m 14. 😀 So that was cool.

Anyway I’m kind of going through a lot right now, and I need some friends to support me, so I’ll try my best to find some.

Personal Growth

Just had a breakdown!Thinking about my body.I am overweight and this lockdown made it worse.I don tusually say these things to people around me i was always confident but today i feel i am ugly.Being a 20 year old with all the students surrounding you and when even on internet everyone is getting thinner i am feeling uglier day by day.Nobody around me seems to care about how good i am at my work or studies.I agree due to some of my faults only i have increased my weight specially in the lockdown but i was chubby from the start.But today literally feel i am afraid to go out and hangout with my friends and relatives thinking about how they would judge me.First tim ein my life i dont feel confident enough to face people

Body Positivity

Does anyone else feel like absolute crap? 
I have a lot of stuff to do, but I lack the motivation and all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. 

Hey I know you are here !
It was really nice talking to you. You made my day .
❤️S


Love

First step of healing is to block the source which is hurting you..🍀🎐🌌

Quotes

I do not know if this sort of thing like a book review is allowed here or not. But the book did help me in these tough times so posting it.


Note: If it is not acceptable I am ok to remove the post. 


Book review of: 
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
Spoilers: No as it's not set to any inquisitive plot.


Outliers : those who struggle to fit in. These have to face tough time day in and day out. They exists in several kinds. Some emotionally challenged, some conversationally challenged, some who can't make sense of whats one says and why, some week and get taken advantage of and then those some who hit the ball of strangeness out of the park. They come in all shapes and sizes (mentally), but go through one common thing: the struggle to survive let alone live. Story of two such outliers the book narrates.


The protogonist Ms. Furukura is strange even for the word strange. She just can't wrap around the.world around her. Taking refuge wih help of her sister, she finishes her basic studies. Next she lands herself a job in convience store. This store becomes her refuge from the world. Untill someone comes along and tries to move her only to ascertain later how much she had become a convience store woman.


The story highlights the difficulty outliers encounter. At the same time how they find refuge in as ubiquitous thing as a convience store. It also shows the intricacies of a store too. Some funny and interesting instances which we all take so much for granted when we visit a store by ourselves


For me the book helped in two things:one acknowledging an outlier. Second a character in book has habit of slacking for the sake of slacking. Ascertaining, that such people do exists has helped accepting certain things. You see sometimes you know something but it gets entrenched only when someone acknowledges it.


On the whole its an important and interesting book highlighting plight of many. Written in easy english, I would rate it a 3.5 out of 5 book.

PS: for admins, while searching for tags I could find anything for 'outlier'. Consider something for it if it makes sense. Thanks

Books

no, you’re already whole. i’m only here to make you feel that being whole is what you should really feel, and being lost is what you mustn’t be worried about. i am not your other half, i am only the addition to it. i’m not here to give you the answers, but to understand the questions and seek it with you.



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts