Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

the pandemic has dealt a huge hit on my mental health.

i’m going into highschool semester 2 and due to covid, I’ve been forced to do school online by my parents. I’m in grade 9 and have never seen an inch of my new highschool. semester 1 online was a nightmare; I had no friends, classes were mundane, and I watched as I drifted apart from my friends I had made in elementary—I’m not even sure if I could call them friends either way, except for my best friend, who moved away and now goes to a different school. I’m constantly feeling lonely and whenever I bring the subject of going up with my parents, they don’t even bother to listen. They insist on staying at home and so on, due to a number of factors they say are important, and called me selfish for wanting to go back.

I’ve been feeling depressed and in a slump. In the past I’ve always paid close attention to myself and my grades; getting high marks and such were easy, and even though I do feel I’m not very pretty, I still try my best to workout. I also try and exercise to get my stress off my shoulders, but it’s not working anymore.

My parents aren’t listening to me, and I have basically nobody to talk about this with anymore—the only time I feel remotely better is when I play video games, which is basically all the time. I feel like I’m letting myself go, which is terrifying me. But this twisted feeling of loneliness and depression isn’t going away, no matter how much I try to stay positive and happy.

I’ve heard that your dreams reveal your deepest desires; this morning, right before the first day of sem. 2, I had a dream where i was normal and had friends. People who I had gone to classes with, laughed with, and I was happy. But now I’m here, awake and my eyes won’t stop tearing up. Does anybody have any advice on how to make myself feel better?