Talked to a friend today. Was really close with her ten years ago when we were still studying. She is now married and have two kids. Asked me how my life is going, especially on the relationship front. Told her alliances my family is looking for keep rejecting me because of a complication in horoscope. She said why so negative, no need to believe in all this. I haven’t even told her i just had my heart broken yesterday. Decided not to since that maybe another negative thing to tell her. She asked me to quickly find someone and marry because all my siblings are married and having children and that i shouldn’t be alone. I didn’t choose to be alone. Tried many times to have a relationship. Never worked. Let others to find for me. Never worked either. Whenever people tell me to just get out and get a boyfriend, i just want to cry. The man who broke my heart yesterday, was someone i have known since i was 14. I fell head over heels when i first saw him at school, but never had the guts to talk to him. Years pass by and i dated many others, though only had one serious relationship, to move on from him over the years. Finally, towards the end of 2019, he transferred to work in the same city that i was working. By then, i thought i was over him and i thought we could be friends. The more i knew him, the more time i spent with him, the more i fell for him. It just felt so right and i believed it was destiny that brought us together after all these years. We became really close and i really believed he loved me too. Yesterday when i finally asked him if he felt anything other than friendship for me, he said “if asking if I felt love… answer is no”. I just felt so stupid and broken. I know it’s not the end of the world but for me, it’s probably end of falling in love. Everything i felt when i was with him, felt so perfect and just so wholesome. Always thought he would end up falling in love with me just like i did. I never really pictured marrying anyone i dated or having a family with them. But with him, i pictured a whole family and growing old together. I know many people go through these things and manage to overcome it. I’m not sure how I’m going to do it. Everyone i know are either married, in a relationship or happily single. Since I have always wanted to get married and have children, i couldn’t be any of those. Whenever i see a video of a baby or a photo, it breaks my heart knowing i may not have my own and not with him. Somehow i feel cheated by God. Why bring him so close to me when i was sure i moved on from him? I wouldn’t have tested the waters at all if he wasn’t near. I wouldn’t have discovered what a wonderful person he is and gotten close. He would always have been a “could have been”. I would not have known him better or fallen in love again.
P/S: just wanted to get these out of my chest
screamferocious... @happyme16
I’m really sorry that there is nothing I can do but to give you advice.
You were overthinking. That’s the reason your heart is very broken right now. I’ll give you one of my favorite quotes- “High expectations can spoil everything.”
Always remember this quote.
Marriage is one of the most important decisions in your life. Do not rush it. No matter how much people force you or tell you to get married. Because people always say things it’s you who have to go through it all your life.
You must feel ruined right now. You feel like you are never going to fall in love again. You feel like it’s the dead-end for you. But, it’s not. Your love will come when it’s the right time. Don’t worry about that.
Right now, You just have to relax and calm yourself down. Go on a trip alone somewhere. Get fresh again. Try new things. And most of all, try to stop thinking about that guy and whatever has happened.
I’m sure you will overcome it. And who says you need always need love and marriage to be happy. You can be happy alone. You just need to try. You have to discover that.
I hope this helps and makes you feel better.
