Started with light cut on my wrist but slowly slowly gonna make this cut deep until i die and you know what i am feeling really good 😶😶😶

Life is so precious dear. You don't know what it holds for you. Whatever made you feel this way will pass and even memories will fade away. So don't give up

Self Harm

Why is this so painful
It’s like everyday my anxiety and depression are fighting over who is gonna make my day more painful
Tbh I’m tired and numb and just over all done with life 
But I have to stay for my best friend
We made a deal, I cut she cuts, I kms she does it too
I don’t want any harm to come to her so I have to stay but idk how much longer I can go for

Friends

I cut myself and no one has really noticed it. 
The ones who have don’t even care enough to ask me about it personally 

Be proud of your scars they remind you that you have the will to leave 

Memories

Ummmm...i don't know where to begin or even what to say...I guess I should start with the fact that i started to injure myself. I've doing things to myself for years now, they weren't so obvious tho. For example I used to suffocate myself or to try to drown myself while taking a bath. Then I stopped for a while and now I did it again . I started cutting myself. The worst thing is that i tried to talk to my friends about it but they only said that i don't have a reason to do it . Now that I think about it they're right. I mean it's not like I have a serious trauma like abuse or rape. I've been through some shit but it's not that bad. 
   When I was younger, I am 16 now, a man masturbated in front of me. And it was horrible, I was so afraid that I froze for a few seconds. I didn't understand what was happening, luckily I ran before anything else happened. I felt humiliated and to this day I still remember that feeling.
  At school, the same year that the incident I talked before happened, a boy was touching me, my breasts and was making fun of that. I was also stressed because of my high school entrance exam.
   Before I started high school I've been involved into a physical fight with a group of girls. They were insulting and humiliating my friend and I tried to calm the situation down but it didn't work and then my friend ran and left me alone with them and they started to mess with me, I ran I soon as possible.
 After that stressful time things got better until the whole pandemic situation happened.  Honestly my introverted self wa kind of happy staying at home and not talking to anyone but I guess it really gets lonely. I have to admit that solitude gets addictive; after seeing how peaceful being by myself is, it got really hard reconnecting with my friends. During the school year that has began I started getting into a lot of conflicts. First with my ex boyfriend, now with my friends and there's also the relationship between my parents that got worse. I also have to deal with a lot of homophobia in my country, being  bisexual . 
I also drink too much for my age. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it , sometimes it's the only thing that helps me relax.
So...I started hurting myself. I don't really Express my emotions because I  always have to be the calm one, the one who solves everyone's problems, the one with all the answers, the one who always does the right thing and all these expectations are just exhausting. When I make a mistake everyone just blames me for everything. I HATE IT. I HATE THAT I FEEL THIS WAY. I HATE THAT I AM SO WEAK. I HATE THAT THE MOMENT I TRIED TO GET HELP I WAS TOLD THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO HURT MYSELF. I ASKING FOR HELP. I HATE THE RESPONSE I GOT. I JUST HATE BEING SO PATHETIC. 
I hate that I actually think that they're right...
      P. S. English is not my first language 

* trigger warning*
A couple of years ago I would cut on my things. They weren't deep enough or nearly bad enough to cause any serious harm but I did it anyway. I didn't want to go. It's been a long time and i still don't know what i was trying to achieve by doing that but I know that it made me feel better. 
I'm a lot better now. I don't know it anymore. I'm at a great place in my life academically and emotionally.

Mental Health

How do I help someone who indulges in self harm?

Some leave scars
and some leave stars,
some are too close
even from too far,
Patience level has become such that even after getting late reply from crush, I doesn't get angry.
 Miracle....
- an inamorato

College

And this is what she said,
“I have been tied up for way to long, so I forgot how to cut myself free".... 

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