some people are just not meant to live. they are too sensitive. it’s me. i am they. 

Since my childhood i have also been sensitive not much after in my teenage but ig sensitive people are more powerful from inside, jitna jaldi rona aata hai utna jaldi chala jata hai , jitna jaldi sad feel hote utna jaldi happy bhi . 

Depression

Sometimes feeling nothing is dangerous.

I don't know how to express or to write what I feel but I'm drained, I'm tired, I'm in a situation where I'm questioning my worth and should I continue living?? I don't know I'm so tired of waking up every single day continuing this boring depressing cycle of my life. :(

I feel emotionally drained. I do not have any energy left for absolutely anything in my life. I feel stuck in my life. It is hard to get up from bed on most days. I cannot sleep properly. I am unable to hold conversations and be an active listener during conversations because I feel emotionally drained. And that is proving to be a really bad thing in all my relationships. I am mostly lacking the energy and motivation to do any sort of work as i just said. Because of this, because i feel emotionally drained, i am doing not so great in academics and other projects that i take up. My days are mostly tiring even if i do not get up from bed and do absolutely nothing. There is no limit to how much i feel emotionally drained.  I wish this was normal. But i know for a fact that it is not. This is so not normal. It is far away from being normal. I told my parents about it and they, as expected, took me to a doctor. I need therapy mom😭😭😭 i feel so emotionally drained that i keep zoning out even if it is an important conversation. I wish more people knew how bad it is to just stay inside your head all the damn time. It is like a cage, only that no one else can free you from it. You have to do that part yourself. They can only stay by your side throughout your struggle.

3am Thoughts

Well i should feel ecstatic as i got my first job 2 days back but instead only one thing is gng in my head and that is I don't want to live this life at all. I can't accept the way people are now of my generation, like I can't find any humanity, i just find competition all around to prove to everyone that they are the greatest and can change the world or all are busy grooming themselves but no one cares to go that extra mile for a stranger to help them out. I am stuck in a fast moving generation with a mindset of a 1900s kid. I have so much childishness inside me and i really don't want to lose it just to become another heartless and shrewd person.  

You might think I am feeling very depressed but i just don't want to live this life anymore because I don't want to see my future itself. I am having everything right now, a job, a perfect partner, a great loving family but only  I know what are the hard truths behind all these great things. A great family who loves me but none of them are happy with each other, a great partner who loves me a lot but only I know that I can't share all my feelings with him as i might just make him upset plus I don't want to marry him because after looking at my parents, I just hate marriage.

 I don't know how people even figure out to live their lives in this world happily and i am not able to. If i needed a hug and warmth i was used for satisfying their desires. I don't understand whom to open up about all my stuff without being judged.

 Yes, i just need some hug and someone to hold my hand and just stay there that's all. I know i can figure out all the solutions but i have to always leave everyone at the end because my life changes every year. A new place , a struggle to again make my own presence count and i am tired of doing it over and over again. I want to just stay at a place for once. Is it too much to ask for?

Adulting

I have always felt like i am a failure...good for nothing...i have always veen very lazy  ...i tried a lot of times to get rid of it but m not able to...i m in college...still dont know where m leading to...m not even passing in all the subjects...and coming from a place like kerala where almost all my family members and relatives are very much educated...i feel like a looser...even my parents thinks i can just say but cant do anything...i have never loved myself...i do cry at nights feeling helpless...cant remember anyone to whom I can go and vent my feelings out...but because of all this i have also developed anger issues...its getting more frustrating by each passing day...everyother day i would decide to change but i don't know why but m not able to do so 

Mental Health

I just want to be that someone who is not stressing other person's problems. I'm tired of being kind. I'm tired of being tired. I just wanna rest forever.

Exhausted

I felt so much that I started to feel nothing….

Life

I am not that ok right now, everything is just hard idk I'm just tired and I really don't know what to do I'm depressed and honestly, life is shitty rn, ik that I should be grateful which I am because I get to eat every day, I get to go to school, and I have a roof on top of my head, etc. but life just gets shittier every day (sorry for cussing) I just want to scream and ask why me? why am I not ok?  I just want to be happier. I'm scared of what will happen if I really open up ykwim? I am in class rn and I just feel like I have no energy in my body. I am insecure as heck, I look at myself and I say why does all of them look so beautiful and you don't? I always compare myself at school, at home everywhere I say to myself every day why can't you just be like them smart, beautiful, and happy? 

If you are reading this and you are also not ok, I will tell you the truth right now, it won't always go your way and it doesn't always get easier or better for everyone, and the truth is it gets harder but be ok even though it's hard because believe it or not there are people that will not be ok when you let go so if your not gonna do it for yourself do it for the people that love you, care for you, and need you. I hope that we will all be ok someday:l

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts