So yeah…I was swiping through my Instagram feed and read a post that said write about what u feel and that’ll help. Let’s see…
I am a college student…yea matured… at least a bit… joined college with a hope that atleast now I’ll get a girlfriend…2 weeks passed and mingled with few people. We used to hangout a lot after that. But slowly I started to develop feelings for her. Maybe just infactuation but this was much serious than the previous infactuations. Everything was going well and boom!! She told me she has a boyfriend. That’s it. I didn’t speak to her normally for few days . Then I had a vacation and after returning to clg I didn’t feel sad . I became normal and we became best friends. Lol she was my best friend. Yea that’s perfect. Again everything was fine until the last working day of 1st year of college. She took my book and wrote something in a page and told me to read it only when I reach my hometown. And I read it. She wrote I’ll miss the fun we had. Eventhough it didn’t feel like a big deal, the feelings I had for her came back. And once again the cycle continued.
I came back to clg. Everything was fine. And one more boom!! I saw her with her bf one day. Idk what happened to me…can’t describe the feeling…but hey ! you need to smile c’mon. I had a very awkward meeting with him.
I went to my room and then thought should I say her that I love her? Is this even actual love? But some other time I feel that issok that she doesn’t love me back (or doesn’t know that I love her or whatever that is ).
When will I know what this is ? Whatever this is pls don’t disturb me ;_;
Just keep doing what you are being her best friend. Chill if love was supposed to happen… it will.
(not mentioning genders for privacy)
Honey, I understand exactly how you feel. I mean, exactly. My best friend who I have a huge crush on (or maybe love? idk) would always talk about his/her boyfriend/girlfriend who lives in the same city but they don’t meet often. So much that I’d start conversations about the bf/gf just to have a conversation at all. Though it seemed to me that as long as I meet him/her everyday and spend time with him/her, I’d satisfy myself. Only later did I realize that I was doing nothing but hurting my own mental state by keeping it all inside. I decided to tell him/her with no expectations whatsoever. I did it. I told him/her. Did not go well. At all. After 3 nights of crying myself to sleep and 4 tubs of ice cream later, it felt like I had just discovered peace. Literally. This was the thing that had been making me sad every night and lost during the days. All my friends noticed that I was “normal” again and they loved it too. The crush? We are best friends, inseparable. I still do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but I realized that I’ve just got to live on with life anyway. It will come when it has to. I can assure you that it always works out for the best. Just lose the burden, it’s too dangerous to hold on to.
I hope you get through this just as I did.
Whatever happens, don’t worry, it will get better.
But don’t you still have a crush (or love him/her). Even after u told him/her, whenever he/she talks abt her/his bf/gf , doesn’t it make u uncomfortable.
Not anymore, no. Once I cleared out the tension, it was rather easy for me to live with the fact that we were not meant to be a couple but something even more special, i.e, best friends. Don’t worry, you’ll get over it too.
To be honest, a lot of girls like to play games - even when they get to college / university. Different people, more freedom; away from parents; it can feel liberating.
I feel like she most likely knows you are attracted to her but she doesn’t speak about it because well, she’s feeling powerful.
Maybe she feels a little bad about leading you on, but honestly, if a girl (and I stress on the girl part) has a boyfriend and still keeps a guy “friend” around even though she knows he has feelings for her, she isn’t worth your time; especially that it sounds like you are looking for a partner, not a “bestie” of the opposite gender.
If you truly want to be “mature” about your situation, talk to her about your feelings and if she tells you that she’s not into you “like that” then tell her that you need to figure stuff out.
