So Iโve went out to see a friend because he has some stuff going on, we spoke at his home in the garden but now we gone out. I wasnโt meant to go out with him but because I feel so down about my situation I decided to come out and take my mind off of it for now (even though its late and I have work tomorrow). ๐คฆ๐ฝ
I havenโt eaten properly in one weekโฆ ๐ Just a banana here and there and other little bits but I just canโt bring myself to eat. Iโm wasting away ๐ I was doing well before and life was good-ish I guess. I know Iโm going to get back late but at this point, I donโt careโฆ Iโve just lost myself completely, I canโt do anything about it, my emotions and my mind are all over the place.
I know what I want but it seems like a lifetime awayโฆIโm in the car now, just sitting and typing, thinking about how bad my life is. Yeah I know there are people who are going through harder times than me, nevertheless, we all have our own problems we go through and they effect us differently I guess.
I just miss my love soo much. I know when I leave my friends I will cry before I reach the carโฆ Like I did when I left my mums house last night ๐๐ itโs been really hard for me for a long time now. Every second I wanna just speak to her, hear her voice, speak softly to her and smile with my head in the pillow. ๐ I wanna hug her from the back and hold her tight. I wanna squeeze up close to her and put my face up to her neck so I can smell her hair so I know sheโs close. ๐
I know this might sound sexual, buts itโs not. Itโs just how I feel atm, I just wanna feel loved but only by her. I donโt want anyones hands on me! The truth Is canโt think of a relationship or a girl unless sheโs here with me. I donโt wanna move on, I donโt wanna forget, and I wonโt! I hope we can be together in this life or the next. ๐๐คฒ๐ฝ๐
Ansh Agrawal @anshdhsj
The problem is you have emotionally attached yourself to her. And, you really need to get rid of this, if you want to overcome this issue.
Accept reality, and move on.
You need to realise that (I heavily emphazie on realize and not just knowing) whatever happened in the past is done and dusted. Neither are the people around you the same, nor are you the same. So, thinking about it and getting affected by it, is of no use. Iโll give you an example to help you overcome this. Think of a very emotional movie that you watched a month back. The day you watched the movie, you were very emotional and had certain feelings inside you that were pretty strong. Now, today, you donโt have any feelings related to the movie. You remember the story, but you do not feel much. Why is that? Because you realise that it was just a movie and the movie had a character that did stuff and it does not exist in the real world. Now, that is you living in reality and not illusion because you know movies arent reality. Apply this same logic to your situation right now. And, if it strikes you, youโve got the solution. I know it sounds far fetched, but I suggest you to give it a try.
I also recently wrote about why expectations are bad, and how you can deal with it. You can find it on https://joinrealtalk.substack.com/p/why-expectations-from-others-is-a?r=azmd9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email&utm_source=copy
I am sure this can help you understanding whatโs wrong, and how you can fix it.
Thanks for your long reply. I appreciate it, I was just venting some thoughts out loud. The situation is very different, I have left out a lot of information in regards to us. I just wanted to write how I was feeling at the time unoโฆ In terms of how I feel, she knows. Itโs just a very complicated situation for us.
Could you tell why you guys separated? You seem like a beautiful couple. And i love how you love her so much. And i appreciate how you have held on to her love for so long. If possible try contacting her. Please man dont beat yourself up. You are worth everything. Please share what happened.