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Profile picture for Now&Me member @zombieman421
@zombieman421

So I’ve been dating this girl for like 8 months, things have been going okay. We dated back in high school for a short bit she was kinda my first serious relationship. What ended it back then was she was a bit of a downer, a little black rain cloud. There was always something going on to upset her, like something not going her way. She also would get upset when I’d have to go to work which is sweet but when you have to call in every other day because someone cant spend the day without you it gets kinda annoying, then it kinda felt like she didn’t care if I was there or not. She went to prom with another guy because I couldn’t due to some trouble I got into, then me and my mom got Into a fight and I call her to talk about what happened but she didn’t seem to care so I told her a few days later that I wanted to break up, she wanted me to come over and talk about it which we did and she seemed okay with it she just wanted to have sex one more time. Which really made feel like she could care less. So we split up and didn’t see each other till a few years ago which has been about 14 years since we dated. She left her husband because he wasn’t giving her any attention and I guess he was a dick sometimes. But it bothers me how she went about it, she left him a note saying she had feelings for me and I’m sure alot more stuff. But he loaded he kids up and left to come stay with me which at the time I was staying with a friend of mine in a two bedroom house with him his wife and their two kids. Now with 10 people in one house when I had my kids over as well we was pretty crammed. Not sure how someone can do that and think it’s a problem, but we all made it work for a few months. Her dad had past away last year and she has inherited his house which is a 1 1/2 bedrooms and is full of stuff. We’ve been slowly working on it for about 5 months now and haven’t make much headway. Which bugs me because my kids still have to sleep on the floor, well a pallet when they come over because there’s no room for a spare bed. Also her kids run over her, yell and scream all the time and are constantly making messes. Not sure how much I can stand, it doesn’t help that she hasn’t changed much still a downer, there’s always something wrong. She always sick or dont feel good or things are overwhelming. Not sure if I should stick around to see if things will work out a just say we tryed

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199
Profile picture for Now&Me member @zombieman421
2 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Hey!
Since you knew what made you broke up then, you should have first got to know her before committing again in a relationship. How can someone just leave a note saying I feel for someone else even if it includes other stuff? Did her ex-husband get a chance to talk to her and clear things? I guess he should have got his share of answers.

Now, your and her kids need to mingle together and you must talk to her about her kids and how is it disturbing and try to discuss how to bring discipline in them which in general is very important. Don’t rush this time and don’t let her take advantage of anything. Have your strong stand not rudely but in a polite manner. Things need to work both ways and not one way.

For me, I wouldn’t be with someone who if is not giving any reason to be happy every day but at least not giving reasons to feel bad/sad/demotivated/negative vibes. Maybe talk to her about your feelings and is her nature that she will never be past it or some circumstances have made her this way. If it’s the latter, you could help her with this. 💙

Profile picture for Now&Me member @zombieman421
@zombieman421

I greatly appreciate your reply first off. But we did communicate about things from the first time we dated before we started dating again because she wanted closure. We kinda just broke up and went our separate ways. As far as her and her husband talking about everything, I’m sure they’ve talked about things by now. Probably not about why she left him or all that has led up to it. Which is what me and my wife did when we split, there was no wondering why it came down to separate. But our kids get along pretty good but there teaching mine things that’s getting them in trouble, like cuss words and acting out. My ex has asked me about it a few times. I want to talk to her about it but I have a hard time putting things into words that dont come off as being mean I guess. But she does recognize that there acting out but cant seem to control them. She gets aggravated and ends up breaking things like coffee cups because they stress her out. I’m trying to stick with it for the moment because I love her and she acts like I’m the live of her life but the whole situation has me always stressed

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