So it all started when we were in college. All cute and sweet, fell in love madly. Decided to get married and and use to talk about future and in my head planned every thing. Every thing went on normally, but after college she got a job in different city and i went to a different city for further studies.Long distance relationship went on but slowly frequency of calls dropped. She use to tell all about her new friends, new job etc. But after two years she tells me that she has gotten distracted. It was shocking for me because here i was completely dedicated to her and can’t even think about such things and she on the other hand is doing this. Anyways we broke up. And after almost 1.5 years i got her call again . She told me that she is getting married etc. But she is confused about it, so i started talking to her as a friend. Because she was going through some family problems as well.We kept talking and she started getting away from the guy who she was about to marry. And we got intimate on the call. And she tells me that she has still not forgotten me and wants to marry me instead. She says that even though she has moved on but too she could never forget me and loved me even when she was in relationship with that other person. Further more i got some new information about her past that she has not been completely honest with me. And has moved on much before she has actually told me. Now she says that she loves me and want to marry me.I’m really confused don’t know if i can trust her again for that matter if i can trust another person anymore. And i don’t even know if i love her anymore. I don’t know if i can forget her past and be able to move on.
I don’t know what to do?
Do you think she will treat you the way you treat her ?
Will she do the same if she was you ? Does she care for your feelings or just hers ? Can you be vulnerable around her ?
She might be genuine this time but it’s not about her love towards you . It should be about you . Just reflect it on yourself . Is it toxic or not ? Whether you want all that you had with her again (don’t just think about good memories) .if then you feel you are mentally strong enough to accept it then go ahead .if not I think you know what to do 💁🏽♀️
actually i asked her this about what would she have done in this situation. she says she would have still accepted me if i were to do something like this. however since i dont blindly trust her anymore . i cant go by just her words anymore. right?
2ndly , sometimes i feel i’m strong enough to forget all this, while some time i get really furious about this whole thing and start thinking about breakup. i’m in a really bad dilemma on the one hand i cant forget her on the other hand i cant forget about what happened.
she even says that i should date someone for some time before we get married so that i can understand her situation. this i dont know if she is saying genuinely or just testing me out.
Never be someone’s second option . Don’t settle for anything less.
Let her go .if you love her let her go something’s just hurt when we keep closer.
You deserve better! fall in love with yourself . You have a life to build. Fill that void by accepting yourself . Good things will come to you . And a companion your looking for will come to you aswell . Don’t get stuck to the past. Try getting over it .
I think you never moved on from your previous breakup thats why you allowed her again into your life that easily. And i think you don’t love her its more like you feel bad for her and you dont want to initiate breakup this time cos she will be thinking about you in same way as you used to think about her when she broke up with you. I think you need to move out of your past nostalgia and stop giving her and yourself false hopes. God bless
yes, i too think it is like this.
the thing is right now i have this hugely important thing in coming few months and i dont want to get into “breaking up” depression right now. i just want to do this thing and then think about it.
is it a good idea to let her wait for next 4 month and see how i feel about it then. and then tell har about what even i decide?
This will make you no different than her. See I understand your concerns about breaking up depression and i am telling you this by experience it would be easy for you to deal with it this time around. But to do that you will have to exercise a lot of self control and severe all kinds of communications with her don’t contact her even out of courtesy for sometime. I will not be surprised that she will forget about you faster than you think. She gave you 1.5 years to forget about you try giving her 1 month you will know.
Don’t fall for this trap. Is it really what you want. And why did she choose to contact you now after 1.5years. Maybe she is just going through the phase before marriage. She is confused but you should be clear. Will you be able to forgive her for what she did to you? Even if you do will you be able to trust her again if she is really genuine this time? Think about it buddy. Its marriage, not a relationship to just end at a breakup.
she says that she did not expected that we would ever get back together again . she just called me to update about what is going on in her life. since she never forgot me she has fallen for it again.
she says that she is very happy that i took her out of that engagement.
“Will you be able to forgive her for what she did to you? Even if you do will you be able to trust her again if she is really genuine this time? Think about it buddy”.- about this i’m not very sure. i still do have feelings for her but it is not the same as it was before I have even told her this.
Obviously you still have feelings for her. You loved her and feelings just don’t fade away suddenly. It takes time. Sometimes years. But it is up to you to decide that will you give the person who broke your heart once, another chance? What if you do give her a chance and she still fails you, then what? What if she doesn’t fails you this time but will you still be happy to live with the insecurity?
Do not fall for this i repeat do not fall for this. This is the sign of toxicity. If someone loves u n is so unsure. Its not worth it. I’ve been through this n expecting that they will come back to u n when they dont. It hurts u in a bad way.
